Friday, October 26, 2007

Time to come back

I guess its time for an update. Life has continued on pretty much as usual, though I had a interesting morning a few weeks ago, geeze time passes so quickly!!.

I was wearing the cage and had begun my morning ritual of giving Sarah a massage, but this morning, rather than turning to her side and presenting me with her back, or rolling onto her stomach Sarah stayed on her back, seemingly dozing.

Now I am almost 100% certain that Sarah knew I was wearing the cage, the only doubt I have was that she told me afterwards she didn’t…alas

As the time passed my massaging grew a bit bolder and my hands began to travel all over her body, her breasts and I felt her nipples get hard under my touch, her skin felt silkenly smooth, and yet still Sarah did not attempt to stop me, and allowed my wandering hands get bolder and bolder until eventually I was brushing her pussy with my passing hand, ever gaining confident.

I was still in my chemical induced libido reduced state but despite this I felt myself getting hard within my cage, I thought for certain Sarah knew I was caged and that she was finally going to allow me the pleasure of giving her a orgasm without my own release.

Eventually Sarah rolled onto her side whereby I spooned her, I was wearing some briefs so as to not jab her with the cage and continued to rub her back while beginning a small thrusting motion pushing the hard cage between her cheeks, surely she knew I was wearing the cage. Whats more Sarah began to grind her beautiful rear end onto my covered cage with increasing vigor until she announced she was getting up to the toilet and then she was coming back to bed.

We we have not has sex in the morning for a very long time, and I was caged, and, to say I was breathless was a understatement.

She came back to bed and I instantly started to rub her back again and my hands drifted down to her curved arse, such a beautiful shape and I felt her pussy, it was so open, wet and inviting, it was clear Sarah was incredibly turned on, and yet I was caged, there was still nothing I could do, I decided now must be the time to go down and deliver Sarah a orgasm via oral sex, so down I went, but just as I got down there and caught a sight of that I so wanted to taste, Sarah was rubbing herself, helping her arousal, she stopped me from tasting her.

This puzzled me somewhat, because now I just wondered what I was being expected to do, we returned to the spoon position and my hand began to rub her swollen pussy while my covered cage rubbed her in her crack, when Sarah reached down and bega to pull my caged penis from under my briefs. It was then she says, are you wearing that thing????

Umm well yes, as if she didn’t know??.....She then reached over and grabbed the keys and handed them to me while saying, well that kind of breaks the mood….I explained that she did not have to release me I really wanted to give her a orgasm to which she replied what is the point of that?? I guess orgasm denial just is not Sarah’s thing L Normally I would have to get up and wash myself after a released but I told Sarah if I wore a condom I should be ok.

I kid you not I do not think I have ever managed to get that cage off more quickly than I did that morning, I was surprised actually that it was not harder, in both senses of the word but I guess I can thank the androcur for that. But get it off I did, and fortunately my anticipation of the upcoming event was more than enough to light my fire and fire it did, nearly too early in fact. But clearly under the right circumstances the libido reduction had no impact on my ability to perform. This was somewhat of a relief.

I asked Sarah if she wanted me to replace the cage and she suggested I give it a break for a while, so it remains off till now. I still wonder if she knew or not, I really can’t see how she didn’t. A few days prior I noticed her looking at my crotch, I am 99.9% sure she was playing with me. But I don’t know why she would risk the mood breaker, even though it turned out ok.

Anyways that was 2 weeks ago and I remain uncaged and Sarah ended up having a very short cycle this time, perhaps her body is making up for the really long one before.

Anyways a few days ago I decided to end my experiment with lessening my libido, while I found it really did help me control my sex drive, I don’t like the way it is making me feel, I am not sure how to describe it, but I feel older, not as strong. I think the clincher was when I throwing my kids around in the pool and the next day I could barely move, normally I would hurt a bit, but not THAT much, I also decided I do not like the feeling of breathlessness and I also think I have put on a few kgs.

All in all it was a nice holiday from my libido. It will no doubt take a few months to come back. Its very strange to orgasm with absolutely no ejaculate. Not something that Sarah minds (though probably not noticed), nor I as there really is no reason to wear a condom even for the wetness aspect. When I say dry orgasm I mean it really is completely dry!! But it feels completely normal. I may give myself another holiday sometime in the future, but intellectually I never lost the admiration for my wives female form or for that mater any other. It simply tempered the drive. I also found that the ONLY thing that lit my fire was when Sarah wanted to have sex. I have little doubt if I tried to have sex or initiate it even though sometimes it takes a while for Sarah to get into it I would not have been capable. I also found that my ability and my interest in masturbating was greatly reduced, some days I did not even bother. I would like to say though that there STILL seemed to be a hard limit on how long I wanted to go without intimacy. It seems that my need for intimacy although influenced by my sex drive is not impacted largely by the loss of drive. Its very hard to explain, but I still found myself needing intimacy without the need for sex persay, and I did begin to feel depressed and a bit resentful when I felt there was a lack thereof.

One scarey thing about androcur is the potential for a naughty wife to lace her husbands food with it. The tablets are the most tasteless material /pill I have ever encountered. As I was taking them in quarters I was literally grinding the quarter up with my teeth into a power and they are completely neutral like a blank pill. Being that you can get this stuff off the internet with just a credit card, well I can just imagine a wife who is sick of being pestered for sex taking advantage of it.

So after a few days off it, Sarah and I has some really nice lurvemaking last night. I was happy to say even despite a 7 weekish stint on the drug I had no problems, don’t feel any different for not taking it yet, nor has there been a peep from my old fella in the morning....yet

I doubt I will welcome my sex drive back, but I will welcome my feeling of vitality. And I am going to have to start going to gym again to get this weight off, unfortunately I have just been too busy lately.

Probably won’t hear from me for a while until something happens now. I am kinda sad about the realization that Sarah is not into any tease and denial games. She really is pretty vanilla with the exception of the occasional cage play. But even that she is seeming to discourage and certainly won’t ask me to wear it.

Still even so I think it’s a worthwhile tool to play with very now and then, even if only to draw attention to sexuality and my preparedness to try and please her. Sarah does appreciate this I know, but she just does not want it permanently part of our life. If she insisted then I would probably resent it anyway, so it seems perhaps we are finding a good balance.

Its all good, for now.