I am still here

I just have not had time to post anything. Not that there is much to post about.

I am still one totally fucked up sexual human being.

Time goes too fast, in the last 4 months I have lost my job, thankfully the business I was running on the side has kept me out of trouble for now but things are getting quiet now. being self employed has its perks....like not having a boss but I have ended up working a LOT harder for not a lot of money. So i have been really to busy to post on here, plus from a kink perspective there really isn't any

Anyways on the home front all is well. Sarah is completely off the cage play, but it seems as though from a female led perspective we seems to be falling into a natural rhythm. I treat her like a princess and she orders me around....most of the time. Occasionally I will be a bit cheeky, but thats her fault because she lets me get away with it.

One of my favorite activities is rubbing her back in the mornings while I have a massive woody. although I am not permitted penetration in the mornings, nor am I allowed to give her a climax in any other way, what she does love is back massages, and whats even better is she will allow me to rub have my wicked way with her soft bottom, so long as I don't try and put it in any holes. I will then ask her if I am allowed to "let it go" and Sarah will either tell me to save it or "let it go", this is normally after about 30 minutes of intimate back rubbing, and letting me stay on edge. Strangely I do not find this frustrating, just adds to the pleasure of giving the back rub. It seems to work for us, and its a soft form of orgasm denial I guess...or thats what I tell myself. I still fantasize constantly about her taking control of my privates, denying me orgasm and using me for her own pleasure only...oh and discipline as well...but alas thats not realistic. One thing Sarah actually woke for sex one night which is the first time in years and I actually had the privilege of eating her...omg its been so long I had forgotten how good she tastes, I was tempted to lick her to orgasm and not have one myself but she has told me before she prefers to cum with me inside her....but ohhh that memory has been replayed many many times....I have a vivid memory and I will never wear the memory of that night out!!

I still have a significant sex drive problem though, and when I say significant I mean it. I have tried to find a definition of a orgasm addict, or sex addiction..bla bla, but apart from some claims that over masturbation can kill you I have found nothing that says its harmful so long as it does not interfere with your relationship or everyday life then its ok....and it really doesn't, I just like to wank....a lot. But to give u an idea, for one reason or another I had a day in bed recently suffering from a bit of a hangover and I think I managed about 14 orgasms before I decided enough was enough and got out of bed at lunch time....yup 14...and everyone of them was good.

So alas even though Sarah is not into the cage any more I actually wear it during the day of my own volition. I work by myself most of the time and ...well if it were not for the cage temptation and the net and porn would get the better of me, and I would waste too much time. I must admit though I have tried to pick the lock a few times.....and once on a 3 or four day lock down of my own volition I managed to shake it to a piss poor disappointing squirt, which just served to tell me whats the point?

I do wish there was a way though of tempering this drive I have, it does occupy too much of my mind. I am even tempted but not realistically so these days of paying a professional domme just to find out what its like to be taken with a strappon.

I don't really want to do the anti libido stuff again but I am tempted to see if something can be done about my over active libido. I asked my doctor about it and he said nope...I did not admit to my frequency of masturbation...or other kink ideas, I doubt he would believe me. All he said was for people your age having sex 2-3 times a month is normal….well fuck that….I would like it twice in the morning and 3 times at night time….and at lunch time as well…not realistic but hey dreams are free
Not really a good match with Sarah who would probably be happy at zero….no I think once per month is about her desire…I have to really press for my 3 times per month which I am really not happy about, but I have managed to get to the point where I really only ask for actual sex once per week and apart from the occasional childish tantrum if she says no I am in reasonable unhappy control.
Bla anyway told u there is not much to say, no budding femdom. I actually leave the keys to my cock cage on my bedside table every day, making sure they move about everyday in case Sarah has a change of heart as she does know I wear it sometimes even though she does not really approve, well its not that, she said she does not want me suffering…..aka does not want to feel like she owes me anything….actually, that is my fault I know….fact is I am a orgasm addict and not cut out for long term orgasm denial…anyway it’s a good fantasy to hold on to, alas the keys are always still there when I get home, but truth be known I don’t know what I would do with they weren’t, I am not sleeping with it on these days so if she did take it it would be a interesting shock. What I AM doing is trying to train myself to get used to having fewer orgasms….but its not the same as giving up smoking….cold turkey does not work.
Try and write again if anything interesting does happen….