Been far too busy

Starting up a business sure eats into your time, and blogging unfortunately is one of the casualties of this exercise.

Also there seems to be a plethora of blogs now dedicated to orgasm control and chastity with very prolific writers and their followers, not that it’s a competition or a pissing contest but what I have to say just can’t compare to the participation and the depth of these other bloggers and to the extent their wives play along.

Also I think I lost a few people when I tried to reduce my ridiculous sex drive by trying different drugs, I guess I am a bit out there, still the remains a struggle, certainly not a new one though and my overtly large sex drive remains a problem for Sarah given hers is completely my sex drive inverted.

Still I find it funny though that even though I have not updated this blog for a long time, it still seems to rank quite highly in the google searches, maybe I could put some links to by business in here….ummm….not!!!....although I have pretty much come clean with Sarah now on all of my activities pertaining to reducing my sex drive….I think she still would rather my two orbs be removed completely…

We took a long break from the chastity cage, Sarah did not see the point since she feels that she has to let me out every 3-4 days even if its to let me relieve myself, and she stated point blank that she would rather never let me out of it. I don’t really understand this notion that developed of hers that she has to let me out every 3 days or so, I think it possibly comes from guilt of keeping me locked up. It is funny she always seems to give up on cage play just when I feel like I am falling into a rhythm of good submissive husband mindset, and when I think she is developing a taste for control (see previous post)

In any case a few weeks ago after I had been pestering her for sex for a few days on end, as you do when your wife says no, she told me to put the cage back on in no uncertain terms, and so here I sit caged again.

This time though having read all of the other blogs around the place, I pretty much know we are doomed to fail in this mindset, Sarah just can’t bring her self to be interested in tease and denial, or even this female led dynamic, it simply takes too much effort on her part, and she is not prepared to entertain it. So for those of you that do have a wife that are prepared to invest their time and THOUGHT towards this dynamic just remember there are those of us would be sub husbands that completely and totally envy your situation.

The other issue we have is that Sarah really does lack libido, she is simply not interested in having orgasms on a semi regular basis, in fact I think she would quite happily be orgasmless for months on end, she calls it a chore, it again takes too much effort.

And so this is the reason why chastity for us is most probably set to fail, it is a celibacy device rather than a chastity/tease and denial device. This is how Sarah sees it, and uses it as a way of gaining peace from my relentless cock. While initially this was exciting in itself, now it has become somewhat of a bore.
Its been clear to me for a long time I have a desire to submit sexual control to Sarah, but submission in itself is not enough, there also has to be control. This seems to be a common thread in all D & S scenarios. With Sarah , I actually think she likes the control, but she just can’t be bothered. It also becomes an effort for me as well, because although I feel all the subby feelings, and make an extraordinary effort to serve Sarah, backrubs, hot milks, wanting to be with her, offering to meet for coffees, much of these things she gets while I am not caged but, certainly I put in 110%, but what I find is that it does not make one little tiny bit of difference how much effort I put in and how much I really do adore and worship her as a woman, I am still sleeping next to what may as well be a sack filled with sand….a very beautiful sack of sand but as responsive as a sack of sand, one that finds it an effort to even talk about this dynamic, or its associated bits.

Fear is the mind killer, no…fear is not the mind killer, fear at least is exciting.

Indifference is the mind killer.