Not exactly what I wrote

Call me a bit crazy, well I am sure I am, no doubt I will cope some heat from you all for this but then I have always warned I am not the perfect sub, or a perfect person by any stretch, probably a bit confused ...I had to laugh as I wrote that. I have been way to busy just recently to update this blog, and right this minute I am feeling the most unsubmissive to my wife in living marital memory there are reasons for that and it will pass......but now lets jump back a few months.....

I gave this to Sarah a couple of months or so ago. It is actually a earlier version, as my hard drive went down and this was a back up copy. it is not nearly as refined as what I gave Sarah to read, for a bit of a chuckle. What I was hoping to achieve was see if I could pop some idea into her head with out the pressure of her knowing that much of this was actually my fantasy. The only way I could think of, of perhaps offering information to her without toping from the bottom....this will be along read. I will tell you what happened later...but I presented this to her while I was caged, and in a pretty submissive state. All I will tell you is that she did NOT tell me I was a sick man....actually she told my son the next day...and he told me what she said (which really made me feel good about myself) that she thought that I was a really nice man...

Anyway here is is...:

Its took me about a year to completely accept the device that Geoff now wears between his legs. While I liked the effects it seemed to have on him I could not fathom why wearing such a thing would have such a bearing on his behavior. Not only that but I thought it was kind of weird and I felt like I was being cruel. I was worried that one day I might be made out to be some torturous bitch who enslaved her husband even if it was his idea.Yet I could not ignore the fact that it seemed to be having a positive influence on our marriage. I did not want to dismiss it out of hand and Geoff for god knows what reason seemed keen enough.

I decided to do a bit of research on the internet and what really helped me feel comfortable with it was the number of people using a device like ours. Based on sales figures 1 in 100 men in the western world own some kind of cock control device. I was very surprised that the number was that high or perhaps there are just lots of strange people, but many people means its not so strange! I just thought Geoff was weird but as it turns out not so uncommon when you consider all the men that should wear one that don’t, or that do not even know about them, or think they should and don’t act on it.

According to my research one of the driving forces behind the behavior change is the inability for Geoff to take matters into his own hand while wearing this device. Its pretty common knowledge that almost all men are chronic masturbators in fact many men are completely and hopelessly addicted to sex, but why not just abstain from the habit. Well Geoff openly admits he does not have the self control to abstain for any length of time, but he told me he did once for a week and the effect is not nearly as dramatic. But Why? It seems that the action of the device is of many facets. On one hand it prevents one from self pleasuring and on the other it seems that most men find it actually pleasurable to wear (at least during the day), it actually makes them almost permanently aroused because it feels like there is a hand holding their sex all the time. Each time they move there is a constant reminder who is in control of their goods. Since there is no way they can act on these good feelings their attention turns to the person who has the ability to release them. So if this is true then why don’t they get frustrated? Geoff tells me that after a few days he feels a overwhelming sense of love and adoration for me…isn’t that sweet. He says I grow angel wings.

Men in fact are far more interested in the chase for sex than the act itself and because wearing a cock cage they are horny all the time so they are in pursuit all the time and they are incapable of getting out of the pursuit feeling because they can’t masturbate. So it mostly comes down to a change in attitude and body chemistry. Men are wired for the pursuit of sex, once they get it and orgasm they go to sleep, if they wank, they don’t need you and resent the fact they have to. So cut off his ability to wank and couple it with constant arousal and you have a man in pursuit of you constantly wanting to please. He will literally climb mountains to please, he will even be hanging on your every word waiting for words of encouragement, he becomes totally tuned to what is your pleasure and transposes his own addiction to sex to wanting to pleasure you.

My research has also shown me that it seems as men get older the big “O” at the end of sex has far less importance than most women would assume. Yes ultimately that is what the chase is all about and it is important to remind him what the chase is about via teasing him, and it is also important that you reward him, but not too much…more on that later.

The other thing that internet sites talk up is the subtle power shift in a relationship that occurs once that lock thing is done up. Almost instantly I find Geoff to be more agreeable and nice to me, this is before there can be any physical contribution to his mental state. As the days pass this powershift seems to become greater and geoff becomes more and more submissive towards me but not to other people, I want and need him to be a strong man, my protector, but I enjoy the fact he will bend to me. Also I find if Geoff has been having a break from the device then it takes a lot longer for him to get back into the saddle. After a few days though I only need to say jump and Geoff really does say how high, and he is happy to do it!! Holding the key to Geoffs cock means that I decide when he gets an O, whether it be via sex or by other means. An awfully large incentive for him to be cooperative, some will read this as being manipulative. But what many women just don’t get is that men want to be manipulated by sex, they love it, they crave it and it makes them happy, so it truly is a win win if the woman is able to empower herself using her sex appeal. You get what you want and he gets what he wants and largely the woman does not have to put out. You don’t even need a chastity device for that, but it sure helps.

Geoff also told me that he feels obligated to ask for sex when he is free, and when I was not in the mood it really devastated him when I said no. The shift in power to me, means he does not feel obligated to ask for sex any more because he knows its up to me, in fact its against the rules for him to ask, and so it removes that pressure for him to ask. It actually helps to avoid Geoff feeling rejected because he does not need to ask.

But there were a still things that annoyed me about geoff and his cage though. One of them was that I would start to feel guilty after 4-7days and let him out because I began to feel pressure anyway regardless of if I felt like it or not, I could sense he wanted me to let him out. But to my surprise I could head off this building tension by teasing him intensely, in fact the more intensely I teased him the more it seemed to relieve him, this is because I am paying him sexual attention. One would think that this would increase his tension, which in a way it does, but in a positive sense. Indifference I found leads to frustration which is what I was initially because I was feeling that pressure! Teasing serves as encouragement, motivation, the promise of what will come if he works hard enough and behaves. The part of the psychology can not be simply ignored otherwise there is no point in playing it, and the whole relationship ends up being indifferent. I found that by teasing and denying Geoff I was able to extend the time he spent in his cage by quite large amounts, which meant we avoided the “down time” after he has had his O, and then when he did, it blew his socks off, and mine.

I also found that a lot of couples make formal rules about this adult play and in the end I decided if we were going to try this lifestyle at all we may as do it the right way, I am not sure if Geoff was entirely too sure about this at first but in the end he agreed, he really had little choice.

These rules that we use work for us. I am sure they will sound strange to some, they would have sounded strange to me a few years ago! We do not role play this 365 days of the year, most of the time our life continues along as it would normally. I think its also important to have a break from this play from time to time and we will take a few months break, but it is usually Geoff who offers to go back in.

There is no point in having rules unless there are penalties for breaking them. Any broken rules means that Geoff has to suffer sexually in some way, which makes this all the more entertaining and part of the engagement or sexual attention. Sometimes I will choose his punishment, other times we have a punishment bag with marbles in it. One color marble corresponds to a punishment which Geoff agrees to follow. Of course Geoff may stop the game at any time, but he understands that if the game stops then its over, finished, if not for good for a very long time. I recommend that you discuss this with your spouse them ask HIM to draw up the rules for your approval.

Our rules:

Geoff recognizes that any sexual attention is a privilege and not a given. He also understands that pleasing me sexually is a privilege and does not necessarily mean he will get to cum. Often when he pleasures me sexually he is unable to cum in any case.

1. Absolutely no asking for a release.
2. No hinting or asking in a whinny voice.
3. No reduction in service, reduction in service is paramount to extorting release. Geoff is required to service me in anyway I see fit. This includes full body massages, servicing me orally or any other way I want him to without his release, waiting on me hand and foot, or anything else I can think of. Geoff must earn his release, but it is not to be expected. I decide when that is.
4. When he is released Geoff may not have his O until I have had mine (sever punishment. Sometimes I try and make him O before me so I can punish him, he knows this and it makes it all the harder for him to resist).
5. Geoff may not have an O during sex unless I give him permission. Sometimes I may refuse him or delay it, and Geoff must thank me for it either for the denial or for release.
6. Absolutely no masturbation ever without my permission. No more morning after long showers remembering the night before. I will never ask him to lock but up but he expected to replace the cage as soon as he and it are clean. Many women suggest it is better to lock it back on as soon as sexual relations have finished, I am a bit lax here but I probably should.
7. Any attitude what so ever, while I do not want a sniveling wretch as a husband I do demand respect and compliance to any decision I might make.

The penalties:

1. locking keys in safe for a set period in addition to whatever time he has been already locked. We use a safe in conjunction with time lock. www.timelockrulesit.come.au Various options here, although Geoff knows how to work it. He is his own worst enemy, he suggested it.
2. Forgoing a release
3. Not permitted to pamper me for one day (sometimes this is a break , but ends up being punishment for me as well so that never lasts long). Complete indifference, this is Geoffs worst nightmare.
4. Tying his cage to his side of his bed, again Geoffs idea, but a good one. This is one of my favorite punishments because it leaves Geoff completely helpless. We attach his cage via one of the guide posts to the leg of the bed with sufficient length that Geoff can sleep comfortably facing away from me. This means that he can roll sufficiently so that I can have a massage if I choose, but once it is over I can choose to move to my side of the bed where Geoff can’t reach me. Of course this has lots and lots of other possibilities. I can tease him relentlessly because he is quite helpless, tickle, smack his bum, take him with my dildo or even masturbate myself out of his reach which just drives him crazy. Geoff can’t get up or touch me, wake me or get up in the middle of the night and disturb me. He must make sure he does not drink before bed so he does not need any midnight trips to the bathroom. If he needs to wake me then he knows the punishment will be sever.
5. Spanking, and yes I do spank Geoff sometimes see http://www.disciplinarywivesclub.com/ They have a huge membership. Men interpret a good spank as sexual attention strangely and its sure satisfying to me. The back of a hairbrush works wonders and his poor bottom can get quite red from my day to day frustrations. Geoff says he prefers being spanked to me ranting anyway. After he told me that I am not so sure he thought the same way, I made sure of that.

I can’t emphasis enough how important it is to engage in at least some form of teasing play. As with anything you will only get out of this what you put in. Ultimately your spouse/boyfriend, whoever will probably decide that its simply not worth his effort otherwise, after all he has given up his favorite toy. The longest amount of time I have denied Geoff his orgasm has been a month, but that was a very intense month and Geoff needed quite a lot of sexual attention even though he did not get to cum. These serve to push geoff’s buttons, he gets off when I control him sexually, so I test him and I have come to quite enjoy it.

1. I will give Geoff his key, but tell him that he will not be getting a O, then I will or I will tell him to edge. This means to bring him to the edge of his O and hold it there for a duration. After the session is finished he must go and replace his cage.
2. 30 second handjob. I like doing this when I have my period and I know Geoff is doing his best to hide the pressure that he feels in his loins. I give him his key and after he washes I ask him to bring himself to the edge, then when he tells me he is close I will give him a 30 second handjob. Since he has been caged he normally cums in under 10 seconds, hence he has his release and it has only taken 10 seconds of effort for me. If I am feeling particularly mean I will stroke him slowly. If geoff does not cum in the 30 seconds then he must replace his cage and wait until next time. He must thank me even if he does not get to cum.
3. Normal intercourse but I tell Geoff he must delay his O until morning, where I may use one of the above methods to release him. Sometimes the next morning if I am feeling really lazy I simply tell him he may take his time in the shower, but this is not preferred as I like to be the SOLE source of his pleasure. Sometimes of course I will inform him that I have changed my mind.
4. Numbing condoms, penis sheath or more than one condom, serves to thicken Geoff’s shaft but also means he gets little to no feeling. After I have had my O, Geoff has 30 seconds to complete. If he fails to complete then he has missed his chance to have a “O” and he goes back in his cage.