Back in again

Sarah has been complaining for weeks now that she can't sleep, in fact she was so consistent about her complaining I began to feel like she was hinting that I should lock myself back up again.

Sarah knows that the cage really changes how I behave to her, and it really does. There is no bullshit about it.

A week or so ago in the morning I offered to put it back on that it might help her with her sleeping problem. Sarah knows that she gets endless massages and attention once I am locked up in a effort to shorten the amount of time between release. Sarah not only agreed but she went on to say not once but twice that she thought it was a good idea. In fact she was almost enthusiastic.

So I was free for 12 more hours before the evening, i did take advantage of my last few hours of freedom as much as possible, however the after effects of the libido reduction meant I could only manage a few before the evening.

Even the knowledge that I had committed to locking this thing back on was enough to begin to put me into a submissive frame of mind and I began to wonder if my morning awakenings would have recommenced yet. I had not noticed uncaged any morning woodys but I did wonder.

I decided to start taking a very low dose again, not enough to deplete anything but more like halt any further return of my sex drive at least while I am caged up.

This week however has been pretty tough, my morning firmons have returned, not enough to be uncomfortable (which they used to downright hurt sometimes) but enough to be conscious of them, reassuring in some respects, but what has made this week tough is two things, I know Sarah took her vib for a run the first day I was locked up, the object had moved suspiciously from where it had been sleeping, well I guess I should see this as a good thing because it means perhaps that the idea of me being locked up appeals to her in a sexual way, what pisses me off though a bit is that I wish she would share it with me while I am locked up, but I spose I have to accept that self pleasure is a private thing and I really should leave it alone, its just so easy to check tho!!

The other thing that has made it tough is that Sarah has taken FULL advantage of my massages and attention but she is not really giving anything at all in return. I am lucky if I get spoken to at all at bedtime because she just wants me to massage her to sleep, which given the motivation for wearing the cage I guess is fair enough, but even in the morning I am lucky if I get a hug and a thanks for the massage....with my drive partially reinstated, and my need for intimacy, and its been near a week in the cage now I am starting to climb the walls. I know I should not really expect anything in return, in fact I am not really sure what I want her to do. It was funny though the other morning I was having a bit of a moan about her lack of affection...and I suggested that a reward might be making me stare at her bare bum for 5 minutes, and Sarah actually stuck it out for me...not enough that i was 100% sure that was what she intended, unfortunately despite her movement it was still under the covers and I darent lift the cover for a look but god knows I wanted to, but had she snapped the cover back down I would have been pissed off so I didn't risk it. I also feel a bit depressed, I think because my drive seems to be returning full force and I am not sure if I can control it and end up asking for release from the cage. I really want Sarah to relax and be happy and I really hate putting pressure on her.

Anyways back to the drugs

Despite taking a low dose of androcur, progressively the morning woodys have been geting more intense as my days without orgasm go by. I am not tempted to increase the dose though, I do not want to revisit the same level as before, just want to make nights sleepable...lol and if i get a bit of libido reduction then good. But I can't see it really happening, I know how this drug works and basically all I am doing now is maintaining a slightly depleted level of testosterone on my body.

One thing of note is that I did find before androcur that if I shook the cage enough, if I was horny enough I could climax in the cage, that scenario is quite impossible with a lowered sex drive. I tried and I can't even get close, which makes sense I spose because even masturbation without the cage took some effort.

I am actually thinking of geting hold of some finasteride which is used to treat bald guys like me, apparently 50% of men will get some regrowth taking this drug even in micro doses, its approved in many countries to treat baldness and in fact its use in preventing prostate cancer is been researched. It is actually very similar to androcur but it blocks/reduces a more aggressive form of testosterone called DHT. it also has some libido reduction capability. The combination of the two in low dose is sposed to mitigate some other issues and are prescribed together in many cases in much higher doses for prostate size reduction. It is very dangerous around women of child bearing age, even micro exposure can have a impact on developing male fetus.

Apparently normal testosterone bonds to muscles but DHT doesn't, DHT has more to do sexual and male pattern baldness but normal testosterone obviously also contributes to sexual function. In theory I should be able to take small quantities of both and have the desired effect without the loss of vitality. We will see, AND I might even grow some hair...believe THAT when it happens.