Thanks :)

Hey, thanks for all your comments. Way too busy to even to my normal rounds of the blogs presently. But it is so nice to hear that I am being read and understood.

Work is not going so well presently and I need to focus completely. I believe I have recognized depression in myself in that I am presently seeing the negative side of everything. Kind of like a dark cloud over me. I am unsure if this is as a result of my previous trials, i doubt it really, its been several months now, although I am maintaining the hair one just because it seems to work, and it is well known and approved in so many countries.

I am ensuring that I maintain many of the intimate aspects of a FLM in Sarah intimate massage in the morning, although nights are harder, the cage DOES drive one and DOES motivate one to be attentive at ALL times, alas I am making a effort. I believe Sarah is even hinting presently that she would like ti back on but I am not nibbling till she makes it clearer, in any case because of the present situation I would feel like a idiot if I was wearing a cage and I was fired, feeling dickless enough as it is.

I so wish I could tell them to all go and get knotted, but I am sure there are so many like me...lol, but I just can't, playing with my kids this weekend, so much responsibility, so many mouths to feed/pay for and look after.

I do not think it is close to that happening though just yet, but I do need to focus on my job as I have been distracted by my other money making sideline activities recently, unfortunately those other activities are not enough to sustain, just good pocket money.

I think I have to cut down on my alcohol consumption as I think it is contributing although I never drink during the day, but a half bottle normally and a full bottle some nights I think is taking its toll on my mood, and if my job suffers I am sure so will my marriage ultimately. I am also missing my daily trips to the gym, and because of my lack of exercise I have put on quite amount of weight, but its like if I go to the gym it costs me $200/day because of lost revenue (sideline), so i just can't do it and I can't fit it in any other time of day. If I can keep it up for another year I can make a big dent in finances even if it means I am starting to resemble homer.

Just too busy

Just too busy to write right now.

Just a comment on divorce, I am pretty sure that comment was said tongue in cheek, otherwise I think you deserve a good swat on your butt from your mistress for so quickly drawing that conclusion...lol

Cage play is dead and buried for now.

Sarah did not find it much of a turn on when she released me again and I had to keep pausing in order to control myself, then the following night when it was promised and denied I was frustrated and well basically I fucked up.

So we are vanilla again, so vanilla its boring, but because I am so busy right now, and so is Sarah , it is probably appropriate.

I am sure our dabbling in this lifestyle are not finished, not by a long shot. I know there are still elements of this that interest Sarah. I can't see her ever embracing it completely, but then like so many frustrated wanna be submissives, I am not sure I am cut out for it anyway. Whenever I start getting what I want I find flaw with it and end up frustrated.

While its true that I would like Sarah to consider my needs more so, is it fair to make these demands on her when she has such a large compliment of children to cater for as well. In a ideal world yep for sure.

No marriage is perfect.

I need to give these thought processes a rest for a while, and I am enjoying my freedom. The frequency of backrubs for Sarah are diminishing and so is her feeling of obligation to put out, lol.

I actually asked the doctor the other day about my/her libido, and if it were possible to reduce a mans libido. He told me no to mine, and said that there was a female hormone replacement that could enhance Sarah's, then when we traveled on to the frequency and I told him that Sarah and I had decent sex about 3 times a month he told me that was completely normal for people our age.

I know there are some of my readers that would kill for decent sex 3 times a month, so I should think myself extremely lucky, and I do for the most part.

But like all humans I guess and I am human, I just want more, not more sex though (although I would not complain!!) or even orgasms, more intimate play that includes more than me rubbing her back for hours on end with no feedback or movement other than a indication that she has gone to sleep by her snoring. I want to be able to share my innermost fantasies, even if they are demented in some cases, and not be judged, it would be nice to engage in any form of actual play than included interaction , one way play is not much fun.

Just that Sarah wants more of different things...do tell..intimacy is not high on her priority list....lol

But still, I am luckier than some and some would say I am a greedy bastard!

Can't see myself posting again for a while, but last time I said that my cage was back on the following week lol.

I do wonder why it was so bloody sensitive these few sessions though, could it be because I was using the tighter ring? I should have used some numbing condoms the second time....but I doubt it would have made much difference, the need to ejaculate feeling did not come from feeling in my penis it was more the pressure from deep within me, almost like my prostate was being pressed on by the base of my cock.

btw since uncaging everything as far as THAT goes has returned completely to normal, with the exception that I have been simply too busy to please myself as often