Just too busy to write right now.
Just a comment on divorce, I am pretty sure that comment was said tongue in cheek, otherwise I think you deserve a good swat on your butt from your mistress for so quickly drawing that conclusion...lol
Cage play is dead and buried for now.
Sarah did not find it much of a turn on when she released me again and I had to keep pausing in order to control myself, then the following night when it was promised and denied I was frustrated and well basically I fucked up.
So we are vanilla again, so vanilla its boring, but because I am so busy right now, and so is Sarah , it is probably appropriate.
I am sure our dabbling in this lifestyle are not finished, not by a long shot. I know there are still elements of this that interest Sarah. I can't see her ever embracing it completely, but then like so many frustrated wanna be submissives, I am not sure I am cut out for it anyway. Whenever I start getting what I want I find flaw with it and end up frustrated.
While its true that I would like Sarah to consider my needs more so, is it fair to make these demands on her when she has such a large compliment of children to cater for as well. In a ideal world yep for sure.
No marriage is perfect.
I need to give these thought processes a rest for a while, and I am enjoying my freedom. The frequency of backrubs for Sarah are diminishing and so is her feeling of obligation to put out, lol.
I actually asked the doctor the other day about my/her libido, and if it were possible to reduce a mans libido. He told me no to mine, and said that there was a female hormone replacement that could enhance Sarah's, then when we traveled on to the frequency and I told him that Sarah and I had decent sex about 3 times a month he told me that was completely normal for people our age.
I know there are some of my readers that would kill for decent sex 3 times a month, so I should think myself extremely lucky, and I do for the most part.
But like all humans I guess and I am human, I just want more, not more sex though (although I would not complain!!) or even orgasms, more intimate play that includes more than me rubbing her back for hours on end with no feedback or movement other than a indication that she has gone to sleep by her snoring. I want to be able to share my innermost fantasies, even if they are demented in some cases, and not be judged, it would be nice to engage in any form of actual play than included interaction , one way play is not much fun.
Just that Sarah wants more of different things...do tell..intimacy is not high on her priority list....lol
But still, I am luckier than some and some would say I am a greedy bastard!
Can't see myself posting again for a while, but last time I said that my cage was back on the following week lol.
I do wonder why it was so bloody sensitive these few sessions though, could it be because I was using the tighter ring? I should have used some numbing condoms the second time....but I doubt it would have made much difference, the need to ejaculate feeling did not come from feeling in my penis it was more the pressure from deep within me, almost like my prostate was being pressed on by the base of my cock.
btw since uncaging everything as far as THAT goes has returned completely to normal, with the exception that I have been simply too busy to please myself as often
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3 comments:
Sorry to hear that you two are struggling. Perhaps a female led marriage without the cage. To me, and of course, just me, the cage seems rather hard core and even more extreme if Sarah isn't that into a WLM just yet.
Good luck with finding a happy balance for both of you.
Hello Greedy Bastard (in your own words)
Seriously, if you can maintain three times a month sex, it is more than most people "your age", whatever that is, have. I don't have it that often, although I could do it two or three times a week without complaining.
I am sorry that you miss what you obviously want and need. You said in a delicate way that divorce is not an option. I admire your commitment, and am glad.
You are also correct in saying that "no marriage is perfect". Mine is not, but we do OK. It would be useless to keep trying for the ultimate marriage.
I can always fall back to writing and reading as a way to channel my libido. I realize that our partners are differently constructed in many ways, and it is seldom that we have an exact match in that respect. I suggest that you keep writing, whether it is your blog or other medium, and keep loving. At the least, keep in touch with us. We care.
I believe I understand your feelings. I also feel this way about my own marriage. Personally, I don't think you're being greedy to want more physical intimacy with your wife. I'm glad, however, that you're appreciative of the totality of your marriage, and that you don't let your dissatisfaction with this important, but non-dominant aspect define it.
I agree with SP that you need to keep this in perspective, and that writing is therapeutic. And, as he says, we do care. I've found supportive comments from fellow bloggers to be surprisingly uplifting at times.
Finally, I second Whatevershesays' suggestion to nurture the WLM elements of your relationship to the exclusion of extreme elements (cage, etc.). What "normal" woman could enthusiastically agree to participate in her man putting his dick in a cage? Objectively, it's just very weird.
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