Not dead just buried.

Another dead blog, or someone that just has lost interest?
No that is not really true, but per my last post its very hard to waste time now that my world has become so time challenged. Yes starting a business is not a short term commitment but rather a commitment that moves from months to years very quickly. Fortunately despite the economic climate so far at least touch wood it is feeding our family and we might even get a holiday soon.
I have not stoped stealing some time to keep up with the latest news and my fetish with regards to chastity remain, in fact I am wearing the CB6000 now, but its not Sarah that is holding key, I actually wear it during the day quite a lot just because I find it helps me stay focused, and keeps my hands off it, although I find wearing it also intensifies other feelings at the same time.

Another reason I think is that there are so many other writers out there that are so much more prolific, and graphic than I can be or have time for, and have a far greater skill than I have both in their writing ability and also their relationship with their spouse is a lot closer, or at least willing to play along. I like to read Thumper a lot, I think he is clearly the new king of the chastity blogs, its amazing how similar initially he was in the beginning to how Sarah and I are, but with a difference his bell actually HAS a libido whereas Sarah simply does not, well at least not as far as I am concerned.
I guess to be fair to Sarah she has a lot on her plate, although she does not work we do have 4 children to consider, and they are not without constant tribulations, one of which is finalising his schooling this year and is as stressed as a poor child can be.
Sarah has no interest, assigns no priority to us as a couple and any attempt to engage in any discussion that has anything to do with sex, penis cages, chasity, femdom, orgasm denial, basically anything to do with intimacy between us is met with complete dis interest, like there are far greater priorities in life than intimacy.
The strange thing is I “get that” but I also get very frustrated that she won’t even give up one tiny bit of her consciousness for US…or ok…well for me…but in my mind it is us.
We did venture into her holding the keys to my cage 2 or three months ago….where I left them on her bedside table telling her that when ever they are there when I get home from work (I told her I liked to wear it to work)I would take it off when I got home, and if they were not there I would know she was looking for a massage….with no strings attached, the keys did go away, but it was a short term thing because 5 days later she let me out and announced we should get rid of it, because there was no point to it because she never actually wanted to let me out……..ever.
Now that sounds really kinky and on first though conjures thoughts of strap on harnesses while still cages or giving Sarah oral sex while I am locked up for life, whatever. But what this actually means in sarah speak is that she never feels like intimacy, she never FEELS like letting me out, ie she never gets horny, Sarah also seems to have a thing about owing people anything, After spending a week rubbing her back and doing things for her, she feels like she OWES me a release, I have to admit I agree with her!!! But we all know femdoms HATE feeling that they owe anyone anything.
The problem from my mind space is that femdom is all well and good and so is orgasm denial but at the end of the day there has to be some completion, some kind of acknowledgment even if acknowledgment is a substitute for reward, Sarah gives neither, and so I am afraid to say we have settled back into the old routine where I leave her alone for a week, (apart from the occasional back rub and also let her know I am horny in the faint hope she feels sorry for me…which even if I ask her she says no…she has no sympathy….then after about a week or so I start harassing her for sex until she gives in.
The stupid things is I HATE harassing her for sex, but after a week or so I start to feel driven, its not really sex I am after though its passion, its intimacy because I cam make myself cum 5-6 times a day until it gets sore if I want to but the drive for intimacy is different and for deeper and stronger, and depressing when its not returned.
I am still here, still breathing, still at least thinking about Sarah being in control of our sex life, but getting Sarah to be in control is as hard as getting her to like sex. You can’t MAKE anyone do anything, she is what she is, I guess I either have to accept it or leave her, I can’t make myself into something I am not either, tried that, just ended up depressing myself, although I must admit I am tempted to try it again, my libido is driving my crazy at the moment, waking up with a rock hard cock in the morning every friggin morning…so hard it hurts….at least the cage wakes me before it gets to the super rockon phase so I can normally head it off…..:(