Always been the boss.

When I think back to when we first met, I remember quite clearly Sarah warning me that she was bossy. Back then of course I was still of the mindset that I was/would be the dominant partner although at that time I did not even know what D/S even if at some level I knew instinctively. I actually challenged her there and then and warned her right back that she should watch out for me!!

For the first few years of our relationship as one would expect we fought like you would not believe, we would fight about anything. It would seem that Sarah’s strategy in a fight would be to get twice as angry as me no matter how angry I was. As a consequence I usually caved in just in order to make it stop. Of course this did not stop me from starting another round. I just never learned, never accepted that she would be the leader.

Sex was absolutely fantastic, we had so much I actually wondered if I could keep up. I remember waking up with sore tummy muscles on numerous occasions, and I am a fairly fit person!! We discovered sex could be had anywhere, behind a tree off a busy walking track, standing behind her while she admired the view off a lookout, in the car with the rain bucketing down up on a hill near a lighthouse. Now those were the days!!!

At one point when the fighting just grew to a point I could not handle, AND one of her old boyfriends was sniffing around I called her bluff, and called it quits before we were married. This had the effect of evening things up from a D/S perspective once she realized that I could and would walk away if things were out of hand.

Strangely or probably not so strangely this ended up leading to us being married. During this respite I has some liaisons with a old girlfriend (who thinking back was definitely sub), and although she remains very special to me I realized that I did not love her and that Sarah was the one that owned my heart. Now thinking back what suffered greatly was our sex life, Sarah has never initiated sex, however subtly has controlled when it occurs by simply saying no. Simply saying no indifferently became a lot more common, and being told no indifferently was something I did not cope with very well at all.

In spite of the cooling sex life it was still pretty good, Sarah really wanted to get married as she was a few years older than me, and one of the reasons she claimed for the cool down in our physical relationship was that she was starting to feel stressed that I may be wasting her time.

Once Sarah became secure in marriage, it was not long before the children came along, with the family dog and hence for the next 14 years have been spent (and still spending) being exceptionally busy with having a large family.

Sarah has always been the unofficial leader of the family, we always have done what she wants to do on weekends, mainly because of the volatility and repercussions if we don’t do things her way. I do not mean to make Sarah sound like a bitch, she just simply likes to do things her way.

Mum has to OK pretty much anything that happens. It is usually about keeping mum happy, and this has actually presented quite a challenge through the paths of young children, socio structures within schools not to mention all the other pressures of a growing household.

I think during this time our relationship had separated, quite obviously life’s priorities had changed, sex life dwindled significantly, and I fell into the trap of “yes dear” and growling at her for each task, and each decision she made.

I am not sure if what I am experiencing now is a fad, or if it will become permanent. I know that the chastity thing has gone on as a turn on for a few years now, the odd thing is that it is great to fantasize about being locked up but once you ARE you CAN’T get off on it because ITS ON!!, so it is a bit of a enigma. I do know that she has been a very happy woman for the last 3 weeks or so, I actually think she is growing fond of me!!

Right now I think Sarah is still finding herself following my admission that I want to be submissive to her. She has begun to give me small orders regarding back massages, and other duties but she is yet to utilize her sexual energy to turn on my dynamo. I am not sure if I can continue in this frame of thinking unless she “charges me up” and uses her womanly charm to give enthusiasm to the tasks she sets me. Baby steps, at least there are some steps being taken and so I remain optomistic :)

To be fair to her however it will take time for her to realize that I am really NOT going to ask for sex, and won’t even with teasing and denial. I think its hard for her to understand that inputting sexual energy won’t result in me being frustrated. I think its because that I crave sexual attention not actual sex, I would go on further to say I would like to pleasure her sexually even if it meant no release for me!! I doubt this will happen since Sarah takes the attitude “well whats the point then?” claiming in the past at least that sex is something she does for me, not for her. Me giving her oral sex for example simply does not interest her even though I have told her point blank she can keep my cage on…keys locked in the safe even so that even if she wanted too I couldn’t get out!!

Perhaps if I keep up this behavior her own dynamo will ignite, I think/hope I just need to be patient. I hope that does not sound like a veiled threat, but I think any sub knows that you need to be dommed or at the very least have your sub buttons pressed in order to maintain submissiveness. Submission to indifferance is just not compatible.

I have been locked away now for 10 days (ish I think) and it does get tough. It is still a challenge I face, yet I do find that now since I have really only had 12 hours free in coming up to 3 weeks the pressure has become easier to control. I hope I can wait until she offers to release me rather than me asking. I do wonder if I will be putting it straight back on again. I find that after a good session of passion with my wife I FEEL like wearing it for her at least for the next day or so, if I do not put it back on in those few days it becomes extremely difficult to cage oneself.

Thanks to digger for being my first commenter, I have been following diggers blog for a very long time and was one of the first ones I followed with any regularity.