I am not sure if

Actually I was just reading thumpers blog on wordpress. I really enjoy the way he writes, and I wish I could write as prolifically and as eloquently as he does. I am not sure if he realises how lucky that he is tough that his wife embraces this dynamic the way that she does. Not only that but he and his spouse actually communicate about this dynamic.

Sarah is not like that, communicating or talking about it just seems to put more pressure on her, which is probably due to the way that it ends up being brought up. I have taken to trying to discuss things retrospectively, after a release so that Sarah does not feel a pressure TOO release if you know what I mean

Fact is that a denied man DOES put a different kind of pressure on your spouse. For Sarah it means that she feels that she should give me a release, and I guess I agree with her....at times.

Yup we are still traveling along the chastity path. This cycle Sarah has released me twice for actual sex....and twice so I could release myself. And I have been well behaved thanks no doubt it part to the low dose of anti depressants I have been talking.

Make no mistake, I think drugs are necessary, I have no doubt that I have/had a sex addiction problem. Most people could not even manage the amount of masturbation I was inflicting upon myself. I have since read that excessive masturbation is a symptom of depression...so I guess I have been depressed for a long time...lol...but I did find that I increased a lot after giving up smoking.

This actually makes some sense in a weird kind of way. If anyone has ever studied Maslows hierarchy of needs then you would know that sex, food, and air.....at least for men sex is right up there on the first level of needs. One of the reasons that nicotine is so very addictive is that it stimulates the same areas of the brain that deal with satisfaction pertaining to these basic needs. One of the things that smoke quitters constanly warn of is replacing the addiction with another one.

Replacing nicotine with excessive masturbation seems harmless of course, its not like its going to give you dick cancer....though I have to admit I have increased my alcohol consumption and with it my belt size has increased somewhat as well. The trouble is with excessive masturbation though is that orgasm begets orgasm, the more you have the more you want, although it never interfered with Sarah because her drive is so much lower than mine, it still becomes a case where each stroke was equivalent to "fuck u then fuck u then". The only problem with these drugs as I said before they seem to make night time erections CHRONIC. I have been wearing this cage now 24/7 (with 12 hr releases but only 2 orgasms per release) for 2 months and the night time wakenings are no more comfortable even after taking the dremel to the forward edge of the cb6000 ring.

The idea that orgasm denial will reduce the importance of orgasm to me is probably valid, though through the last month Sarah has allowed me 2 releases for sex (which have been fucking awesum, and the last two releases have been where she has allowed me to only rub myself on her bottom while wearing a condom whilst I massage her to sleep.

The weird thing is that out of the two its the rubbing myself on her bottom that makes me tingle and fill my cage as I type this....yet the last time she allowed me that release was only 3 days ago and to be honest it left me feeling flat as a tac. I came very quickly and it was intense since it had been nearly a week since the last rub but I wanted Sarah to cum as well.

I explained this to Sarah in the morning, I get the feeling that I am going back to my old tricks and putting pressure on her to perform (as she calls it), but it seems that cumming like that is leaving me with a sense of almost depression especially since I know her period is approaching then I know I won't have the pleasure of getting Sarah off till afterward.

But this is the crux of what I have been trying to get through to Sarah is that I don't even care any more if I cum or not....I know Sarah gets a lot of pleasure out of my massages but i need to GET HER OFF in order to feel satisfied, to make me feel like a man, in order to as I told her to "feel complete"

I am really beginning to feel like getting Sarah off is a gift (ok it is), its something she allows me to do as a reward...but that sounds kind of arse backward doesn't it? I know she enjoys sex once she is aroused.....and I also knows she masturbates roughly the same amount that she allows me to pleasure her ,interesting Sarah likes to pleasure herself during the day after the evening where we have had a good session....any woman readers out there...I like to think this is because like me she likes to relive the night before.....I know enough about a woman to know if Sarah is faking pleasure, there is no mistaking her engorged swollen pussy compared to when it is flat....and its usually when Sarah has a really powerful orgasm hat she chooses to masturbate the next day, and yet I really feel that when she does share her orgasm with me ...that it truly is a gift....this must be a submissive trait, one that is mixed with rebellious feelings of ...I deserve the gift....or she owes me for all those massages....
javascript:void(0)
She is my princess thats why I keep telling myself.....I do wish these negative feelings would go away though.

Anyway I digress, last night Sarah told me that she was thnking of "being nice" to me tonight and that if I rubbed her back and she wasn't asleep in 5 minutes then she was going to indulge me....I told her that I did not want her to indulge me...that I wanted to indulge HER, anyways....Sarah went silent and seemed to go to sleep while I stayed awake and waited for the 5...then 10...hen 20....then an hour went by where Sarah seemed to toss and turn kind of nearly not asleep but enough to jolt me awake as soon as I was nearly asleep.

I am wondering though I doubt it if it will finally get through to her that I want to give her an orgasm without having one myself...since I am really beginning to hate the flat feeling I feel following a orgasm. last time we had sex Sarah let me go down on her....and omg she tastes so wonderful, I have a feeling that Sarah came without leting me know while I was down there, bu she ended up allowing me to finish off inside of her, but I think she had past her peak because she did no feel quie the same as when I was down there.....

I am hoping that tonight (she did say if not tonight tomorrow night) that she keeps the cage on me while I lick her to orgasm. I am really curious to find out if this allows me the satisfaction more than my own sexual release does.