Cage Showdown

Its been well 10 days, and over the Christmas and boxing day break I have spent locked away. I guess I should have realized that it was a dumb time of the year to get myself locked up, but at the time it seemed like a good idea.

Actually I behaved myself well, Sarah got her period about 5 days ago, and I knew it was coming so I was prepared for a long stint without any release. Sarah on the other hand obviously felt pressure because when it started she sounded very guilty, like she felt like she should have let me out before her period started. I picked this up and responded that I thought she was the best thing since sliced bread, all good…and she seemed to be in a good mood.

The few days before Christmas were frantic, and our street was very busy at night because of the Christmas lights (yes we live in one of THOSE streets), and so there were a constant stream of visitors, lots of beer drinking, lots of social cheer, although by Christmas its like enough already!!!

So here we are December the 29^th, I have discovered I have put on half a KG over Christmas, although working out I have managed to reduce this fat damage somewhat. I am still caged and feeling a bit despondent.

Since returning to work Sarah has been sleeping in past when I leave for work, hey that’s OK except I really love mornings in the quiet, rubbing her back and talking about things, so it really stings especially since I am woken each morning pretty early by you know who, and I can’t disturb her because she is asleep so I totally miss this OUR time, the only OUR time we ever get. Anyways I could probably cope ok if this was substituted with some kind of conversation in the evenings but Sarah loves this time to herself. She sits in her bed like the queen that she is, I get her her hot chockolate and then she orders me from the bedroom so she can watch her soapys in peace. She does this till gone past where I am comfortable staying up, after all I have to get up early. And so begins a cycle of discontent, by the time I am allowed in the bedroom, I am tired, and Sarah just keeps that stupid TV running. It drives me nuts. Still I keep my mouth shut although I must admit this week I apologized and told her I needed to sleep so I sandwiched my head in the pillows and went to sleep. I did not coerce her I just went to sleep but she did not get her backrub.

Even on a good night when I am asked to rub her back I am not permitted to speak to her, because the back rub is to send to to sleep, its not for talking. So its like when are we going to get some talk time for US?, over a few days this was building. I guess I was starting to feel a bit despondent that I am still outputting all this emotional energy and I am not getting any acknowledgement what so ever, I am not even permitted to talk.

So last night I brought it up, and I asked her what she was thinking about things with respect to the cage and how things had being going.

All I was seeking was a bit of acknowledgment, just some show of affection, I mean even if she did let me out it would still not be on because of her period. And Sarah made some comment that I had only been in it for 3 days while she was free of her period!!, that made me cranky because for one thing it was more like 5, and the other was that she had not appreciated that I had not put any pressure at all on her during that time, it also meant that this is nothing for than a sex avoidance game for her. That she could not care less how much I wank myself when I am not locked up. In fact she told me that I should not be locked up during her period and that she meant to release me but she forgot. She stopped short of telling me to take it off now though. Anyways I guess I was pestering her because eventually she said “if you say another word to me about it tonight you will be staying in it for at least another week!!!”

Well, I guess I considered that a submissive button press, because zip my mouth I did and rub her back I did, until such time as I could not stay conscious any longer, and sarah slept.

The next morning I woke up early, and for once I had not been woken repeatedly during the night. It may have been the panadol I took just before bedtime, but anyway it was a really pleasant change to be woken by the first hardon and there be actually light coming through the window, I looked at the clock and it was 6.30am….bliss!! Anyone that has done significant time in a cage knows what I mean. Anyway I started thinking about the previous nights conversation and it really started to bug me. I knew I had to carry on this conversation further even if it meant pissing Sarah off. Normally at this time of the morning I have trouble getting rid of the hardon in the cage. This morning my mind being occupied it went away and stayed away.

That is until Sarah turned her head to me, still asleep, her face looked so serene, her nostril flaring slightly with each breathe she took. I lay there admiring her face, gazing as one does and of course my cage begun to fill….dammmit.

So I lay on my bad and returned my thoughts to the previous night, I was upset but this needed resolution one way or another…But if I woke Sarah then my life would not be worth living. I noticed that the alarm light was on she Sarah had set the alarm for some reason, so in theory all I had to do is wait. So wait I did, and wait, until at 7.30Am the clock made a click sound but NO ALARM went off, now Sarah did stir, the clock alarm had gone off but the switch was on radio and the volume was turned down. Had Sarah meant to be woken or not? Well I took a risk and gave her a hug, she stirred and I begun talking to her.

I can’t remember the blow by blow, word by word account, but Sarah basically told me that the cage did nothing for her and she did not like it. I explained to her that what started for me as a interesting kink had turned into well, if it wasn’t doing anything for her then I did not see the point in continuing down this track either. It is not something that I do for me I explained that it kind of started out that way and that there are attributes of it that I like and also things that I hate. What I like it how it made me feel about Sarah, and how I liked her being in control. But if it did nothing for her then there really is no point. I certainly would not be wearing it for self gratification.

Sarah complained that she did not feel in control because she felt that after 5 or so days she felt pressured to release me even if she did not want to. I countered that we had done this for 8 weeks previously ie I had worn it constantly for 8 weeks and had 5 releases which averages at around once ever 10 days, and that I had not put pressure on her not once in that time, until the very last time when I had worn it for 5 days and I knew she was about to get her period (see PMS post). I pointed out that this time just gone that I had not put her under ANY pressure at all.

Sarah acknowledges that I am definitely nicer to her when I am caged but she says that it only seems to last for about 5 days before I get “agro”, I know this was an issue in our earlier play, I am talking a year ago, but this long 8 week stint I did I made sure that it never ever surfaced. I am thinking it is something that Sarah is perceiving after about 5 days of service maybe she simply FEELS like she OWES me a release, or perhaps she just feels me tighten up. It is then that Sarah needs to learn to push my submissive buttons or at least acknowledge the tension in some way. What she tends to do is become indifferent which just makes it worse….still I had thought I had covered it up my need for some acknowledgment better.

I am not sure how to get around her perception of pressure, 8 weeks, should have been long enough to demonstrate that on the whole I am really trying to take the pressure off her for sex and trying to submit to her. I told her I really LIKE the fact that she decides when we have sex/intimacy. Please note I have told her that intimacy does not have to mean sex many times, but Sarah is not really interested in having a orgasm herself. She does not see the point in making the effort and me not having one as well. Unfortunately I think Sarah sees sex or ANY type of intimacy as too much hard work. It does make submission harder when your not really having any sub buttons pressed.

In any case, at the end of the conversation I submitted to her that if she really felt that way then there was not point in continuing. That she should give me the key now and we would forget about it this whole deal. In fact I told her I would be discarding the device so it could not bother her again. I was serious, and I really mean it, if its doing nothing for her, if its not helping us then it would be the end of it. The end of a fantasy because fantasies are only good if there is a chance they can become real. Although I also mean it when I say the fantasy is also better than the reality of day to day lock up. Its not like you can get off on it while your locked up. So I am/was prepared to never mention cock cages ever again to Sarah even if in 3 or 4 months time I would probably fantasize (with the edge taken off it) about it knowing about the reality of things.

So imagine my surprise

And I guess it’s a woman’s prerogative because then Sarah told me that she would not be letting me out just yet. Then she goes on to say that she really has not being taking advantage of her slave, and that she intended to make me a list of tasks. She rattled off a few things that she knew I would hate doing.

Talk about keeping one on ones toes, and making a sudden 180 degree turn.

I of course responded enthusiastically to the suggestion of tasks and a list, and when she added, “of course there will be SEVER punishments for misbehavior or those things not done”, she kind of caught me a bit off guard. I asked her what kind of punishments did she have in mind, she did not have anything particular in mind so I suggested a good hard smack on my bare bum if I hassled her for release, to which she did not really make any negative or positive sounds, so I suggested she lock the keys in a safe for a week.

The conversation paused here before I asked her, so what do you think is a fair number of releases per month?

One she says, one release per month, and that’s only if you behave!! And you will only get that one if your really very lucky.

I was fairly certain she was joking, so I lay on top her her (she was face down) and interrogated her, she had a sly teasing grin on her face, and then she ordered me (and I mean ordered me) to go get her a coffee and newspaper.

You bet and I complied, and guess what we had run out of milk…pmsl. I had to make her wait while I made a dash to the shops.

But then fucken hell she knows how to scare the shit out of me.

Fact is though if she allowed me the privilege of giving her an orgasm I think I could cope with one release per month, I am not sure, but I think I could. I have told Sarah previously on a few occasions that she could release me less often if she would allow me the privilege of giving her oral sex, or an orgasm by any means of her choosing. But she has not taken me up on it.

Who knows when she will let me out, and if once out I am asked to go back in. I can’t read her thoughts. I do not know if she decided to turn circle because she really DOES like the way things are heading or because the thinks its what I want. But I was serious when I said to her I wanted to drop it if she did not get anything out of it, and I would have gotten rid of it so I was not tempted to ask her again. Sarah can be very hard to read sometimes. When asked what she really wants she just sidesteps the question.

I know I am bursting for a release now, but perhaps now is a good time to say to Sarah that I am prepared to forgo my release if she gives me the privilege of giving her an orgasm. Maybe I should go for the month?

Unfortunately I think that will have to wait for a future commitment as we are going camping in a week or so, and impractical to remain caged then. Maybe I should just give up this release then? What do you think? Would that demonstrate commitment? I would probably still ask for sex before we go camping….or should I not then as well?? Just let her take off the cage before we go and leave it at that…leave me to my own devices…if only orgasms were as valuable to her as they are too me, she may see the value in it. She is more likely just to think I am being foolish…

I know this is rubbish but I feel like I have a snooker ball up my bum my prostate feels so full. Interesting that I know its just my mind playing tricks on me but it feels real enough. Perhaps I should consider milking myself to relieve the pressure. Maybe I can think more rationally then.

All I want is for us to be more intimate. I know things seem to be happier in our family while I am in subspace to Sarah. Its better than been static which ever way it pans out.

Enough of a ramble for now, its Friday night and its time for some family time.