A summary of all

I have posted much of this previously so if you have seen a lot of this material before, this is a response in another forum, it ended up being rather lengthy but worthy of reposting here I think.

I originally intended this to be a reply to this thread http://www.lockmeup.com/discus/messages/66/2842.html?1172664540 but I ended up so far off topic I thought I should probably start a new thread. Hope this means something to someone :)

I can’t remember if I am a member here or not, but these days I generally lurk and read and move on. This thread though I have found fascinating, especially with Davey Dark playing the devils advocate.

I have owned a CB3K for near enough to 2 years and I do keep a blog http://cageone.blogspot.com/ for those with interest enough to bother reading it.

While my chastity experience has been less than the idyllic that some people would have you believe I think at least it is realistic. I do think the fantasy of being locked up is far better than the reality of it, well I at least enjoy fantasizing about it more when I am free for obvious reasons!!

But what I found it DOES do is change the way I see my wife. Whether it is ideal or not, and I would agree that one should feel idyllic about your spouse all the time, the divorce rate would indicate we live in a far from idyllic world!!

I do not think there is anything wrong with masturbation, and in fact it DOES serve as a safety valve for imbalance in sex drive that is apparent in so many marriages. While I freely admit I masturbate far more than I need to it does not interfere with my performance as a man. My wife can have me whenever she chooses, she just chooses not to most of the time because she has a low sex drive.

What I have found however in wearing a chastity cage is that there is the issue of making masturbation difficult, enough difficult that the effort is not worth it and the let down while still locked mentally horrible, the feeling of “what the %$@# am I doing this for” becomes an order of magnitude greater if u still have the cage on and you do manage to cum. The payoff is not worth it, so in many respects wearing a cage effectively eliminates masturbation at least for me.

So the first mechanism is lack of orgasm, but I have tried simply abstaining for a week with no cage and the feeling was not nearly as intense as while wearing a cage why??

The second mechanism is after a few days the cage at least for me begins to actually FEEL GOOD, when I move the action of my penis inside the cage actually feels like I am in a pussy, or at least in something, it feels nice. Driving along in a car I have nearly but not quite been able to cum just by rocking forwards and back, but just as it does begin to feel good of course swelling begins and the action stops leaving one in a state of arousal, interestingly not frustrated but aroused.

Being aroused a man is in pursuit frame of mind, he wants sex, and is prepared to do anything to get it. EVEN be very very nice to his wife no matter what she says, and this I believe is where wearing a chastity cage is likened to the courtship days of a marriage, some people call it subspace, it is all the same thing. But it is common knowledge men like the thrill of the chase, which is the enjoyable part of chastity, is chasing your spouse, pleasing her wooing her into releasing you. But lets be clear, as much as pleasing your spouse an important part of the process, the release IS the target, it is the culmination of acknowledgements that you have succeeded in pleasing your spouse.

The third mechanism is the awareness of your situation, like a gloved hand holding you cock constantly, the knowledge that your wife is the ONLY one that can release you keeps your mind focused where it should be on your spouse, the subtle power shift. While I admit women in general become infinitely more attractive after a few days caged, and I find myself undressing women in the supermarket in far more greater detail than normal (well I do it when I am uncaged also but my imagination goes on overdrive) the arousal is further enhanced by other woman, but with the knowledge that one can’t do anything about it anyway so there is no guilt associated with it because sex with another is no longer realistic. Focus on ones spouse is certainly enhanced.

The forth mechanism is closely tied to the third mechanism, and only works up to a point. At least for me after a certain period of time uncaged I almost feel obligated to try it on for sex, ask my wife for sex, when or if I am rejected, my response is almost well stuff u then I will have a wank, or a realization that my next release will be coming from my own hand, an end to the pursuit mode. A waste of arousal by my own hand. Of course abstinence could well be a solution to this but it does not address the rejection, masturbation only acerbates these destructive feelings. Wearing a cage means that my wife decides purely and simply when sex will occur, it helps take away the feeling of obligation to ask for sex, and rather increases a need for other sexual energy, and I know I can’t waste my sexual energy by masturbation. I do find though if I feel I deserve a release then my inner turmoil can reach a point close to breaking, but it does largely transfer the power of sexual initiation to your spouse. Sure one could harass your spouse for the key and she would probably give it over, but after the INVESTMENT of days in a cage without orgasm, you really WANT the release to be special, and you KNOW its only going to be special if your wife decides when.

Getting back to an earlier statement, fantasy is quite different from reality. I often fantasize about my wife keeping me locked up for weeks on end even months, occasionally I will even have a no orgasms for the rest of my life wank. But the reality is after about 10 days (I have gone 15 days locked up) I start climbing the walls. I know that the game stops being enjoyable after about 7 days. The fantasy about my wife mercilessly teasing me, paying me endless sexual attention without my release, giving her oral sex is never going to be anything other than a fantasy. The reality is that I end up teasing myself, I scrape tidbits of tease by pressing up against her flesh while I massage her. She is not into the tease bit, in fact I am hard pressed to identify changes in HER behaviour, although she does seem to be happier and she will reward me at the end of a cage session by making a proper effort at sexual intimacy and it usually IS awesome. But is it worth it?? I find myself far more emotionally needy, I need and crave hugs and intimacy aside from sex, and this scares me sometimes.

One of the reasons I am not locked now, my wife will not take the step of asking me to wear it, nor do I really expect her to or probably want her too, but that is another discussion. But the other reason is that if I do put it on my wife tends to leave it on until I start climbing the walls!! I find myself in this needy state which is not sated by other forms of intimacy.

Getting back to the thread topic, if my wife DID pay me SEXUAL ATTENTION during the time between releases I think I probably could go for a month or more without release and probably enjoy it. If she did tease and deny me, with the knowledge ultimately I would get released I think that would be an interesting enjoyable trip. But the trip would ONLY be enjoyable if my wife got something out of it as well.

Right now I am in the process of trying to behave identically uncaged as with the cage and see if the intimacy can stay on the level. That way of course I get to keep my favourite plaything and wank about being locked up as often as I like. I will end up locking it back on just because it is kind of addictive, and my wife does not object to the device. And it does make the fantasy better if occasional reality occurs. On the other hand I want to convince myself its worth locking myself back up again. It really is a hot and cold kind of fiasco.

Unfortunately I doubt I will ever find out what it would be like to be the husband of Princess Melanie, I can see a huge attraction and a path to where they are, but also there are aspects that are far beyond my limits. But who is to say that those limits would not change should the path be walked rather than imagined.

Then some would say that perhaps in marriage there are some paths that should never be walked.

P.S. I will probably post this on my blog as well.