updated

It was another 3 days before Sarah eventually released me. I can't say it was particularly good release, but it was a release. I had intended to ask Sarah for permission to cum but when I felt her climax I was unable to contain myself. I did my best to hold back but all i managed to do was to stop myself from ejaculating fluid (or much fluid as there is always some), but when I checked the condom in the morning there was very little if anything in it. I guess I managed a ruined orgasm for myself which was deserved since I was not able to control myself.

Sarah did not turn the TV back on and promptly fell asleep which meant I was able to sleep the night without the cage on for the first time in 10 days and in the morning we had another chat, which was nice, although I was in trouble for something I had said the day before.She told me she did not care that I came without her permission....I wish she did care.

I asked Sarah if it would be OK if I cleared my pipes properly during my shower to which she gave me permission, again she does not really care what I do with myself...

I must admit it was surely satisfying to see the gobs of cum come out in torrents, I was a little worried because of the lack of fluid in the condom from the night before...so at least I knew there were no blockages. It was also a bit fortunitate that I was given the night out of the cage because there was a small wound on the underside from the KSD, nothing serious, but enough I decided to leave it off for the rest of the day and rub some vitamin E oil into it. By the end of the day it has subsided to just being a bit red.

I managed to abstained from further self manipulation all day and reapplied the cage prior to bed and so I have not had a orgasm without Sarah's knowledge since my commitment began.

These next few days will again be a challenge, I am coming up to my thirds day after my release and I can feel the pressure building again, and I know Sarah will be expecting her period in 5 or so days time. Sarah always feels pressured to release me prior to her period...and I also feel the most pressure to ask as well because I know that once started its going to be at least a week ON TOP of what I have already been locked for. I always start out determined this is OK but after 3-4 days in I start feeling stressed.

Sarah HAS been sleeping MUCH better though so I must keep this up. I intend to tell Sarah that I have no expectation of release before her period so as to alleviate any pressure she might feel, Of course there is a cavete....unless she wants too which regrettably is unlikely.

I will tell her that I will tell her if the pressure becomes too much for me and I may ask her for a "30 second handjob" which means basically I am to make my self ready without disturbing her while she watches TV....and roll on a condom as to not make any mess. I will bring myself right to the edge of orgasm and keep myself there until a advertisement whereby I will tell Sarah and she will give me 30 seconds of her time to take me over the edge, after which I will go and put the cage back on. Sarah has kind of agreed to this although I have yet to see if she will do it. But at least it offers some release without hardly any inconvenience and hence guilt on my part for asking her to go out of her way too much. After all if I do it right she will probably only have to barely touch it. Hopefully through doing this maybe she will learn to tease and deny which might make things a bit more interesting. I know I want it I am just not sure if I can handle it...I hope Sarah's PMT is not bad this month, when she starts going ballistic for no real good reason it makes it a whole lot harder to feel like this is worthwhile.

Stuck between a rock and a hard place.

Still I am hoping that by Sarah REALLY controlling every orgasm I learn to go longer inbetween and offering Sarah a chance to sleep and trust me, to feel comfortable with me hence become closer, maybe ultimately Sarah will want to engage with me more with sexual attention...be it intercourse or any other form of intimate play. I miss orgasms a lot, today I had lunch with a woman who is the friend of a work colleague, as I parked my car I thought about having some thoughts about her and felt myself fill up my cage, and then I realized that thats all it would be is a thought.

Jez I ramble

Coming clean

After lying awake most of last night I came to the conclusion that I had to have a talk with Sarah about things. We do not ever communicate much on a intimate level so what I wanted to say to Sarah was fairly challenging.

So I bit the bullet, and Bud, you can't say I wasn't listening to you!!

I can't really remember the order of the conversation because I am just so tired today, but I think I started by asking how she slept, she slept fine of course, I was honest with her and told her I had barely slept a wink. I followed this conversation by asking her how she though the last week had gone, and she answered very positively,I then went on to comment that we never really have many intimate conversations, and that I had something really personal to tell her.

"oh?"
"well you know how I have a reallllly high sex drive"
alarm bells ringing omg he is going to tell me he is having/had an affair
"yes??"
quickly "well its nothing like i am having sex with anyone else or anything"
"but, well an average guy will bring himself off about once per day, well I kind of have a bit of a problem, I do it about 5 times per day"
"WHAT???" jaw drops out of head, shocked silence
"so I have decided that I will keep wearing the device for the next 3 months"
"hmmm Ok well we will see how u go"

That is the essence of it all of course I told her I worshiped her as a woman, and that although I did it so much when we made love it was not even a tiny bit lessened by my extra curricular activities. The conversation lasted far longer than this and we worked through some other things

I even told her that last night I was so desperate because it had been over a week I had used a prostate massager on myself, so I really came clean about everything, I am stunned myself that I admitted this to my wife...lol

The upshot is Sarah has agreed to ration my orgasms for the next 3 months, i will wear the cage and she will decide when or if I get to orgasm. The cage will be reapplied straight after any release.

How we go from here is up to her.

On one hand I am shit scared, on the other hand I am glad I came clean and we actually HAD a intimate conversation, it is probably the most personal thing I have ever shared with Sarah in all the time we have been married. And today Sarah has been great, but I do wonder when my next release will be.

Thanks Bud...hmmm or not.

This can be so hard sometimes

Saturday night, well actually Sunday morning here in Aus, and well I can't sleep. Sarah and I have been getting on great but as yet there is no sign of her letting me loose. I really have to be carefull what to expect but the last two nights have been really hard. I have managed to keep my mouth shut and give her a back rub until she falls asleep...which is just the way it should be.

But the pressure is unbelievable.

Tonight Sarah at bed time seemed completely indifferent. Its almost as if she is pressuring me to ask her for a release. Maybe she is just testing me, its a test I am struggling to pass, and its only been a week.

So now its 2am on Sunday morning and I simply can't sleep because of a combination of 2 things, one is I don't understand why Sarah has not let me loose and the other is, well I am so full I am leaking!!

Today Sarah went out for most of the day and I spent most of the day cleaning the house, washing and ironing the kids cloths, I think I did a pretty good job as well, even Sarah's parents commented when they came around how tidy it looked. Did Sarah so much as thank me....she did not even acknowledge that I had done anything.

Well I have listened to my last commenter, and apparently I have been a chronic masturbator, lol, well its not like it was something I did not already know, but perhaps, well more than perhaps thats why I really seem to hit a wall at about 7 days with no orgasm, but I am determined to see this through, going cold turkey and totally relying on Sarah for release. I am determined not to ask for it, but I am not sure if she understands the enormous pressure I feel. it is interesting to note though, I know these feelings are largely in my mind, I have gone for 14 days before, but some of that was during Sarah's period, and while Sarah couldn't, the pressure was not nearly as great as once the green lights came back on.

Tonight I decided that if I was to sleep at all I had to relieve at least some of the pressure some way, so I ave managed to drain myself using the aneros, which is basically a prostate massaging tool.

I must admit it was incredibly stimulating I actually think I could cum with it in there just by clenching my muscles and not touching my cage at all. I was soooo close but I did not. So I am still orgasmless, and pleased as well as I would feel infinitely depressed if I did. I managed to get quite a lot of ejaculate from my body without any orgasm at all, so while I am waiting for my body to calm back down I am typing this.

So what gives with Sarah? I am frightened quite honestly that she won't let me out until I cave in and ask, which will mean the cage serves no purpose at all.

what a roller coaster ride.

It is times like this when the reality is not so hot as the fantasy, and yet in the back of my mind I hope she never lets me out, now thats weird.

What I do wish though is that she wasn't so indifferent. I could cope so much more if she acknowledged me, and she was doing it too me

Sorry this is a ramble, I do that a lot especially when I am tired.

i hope I can sleep now, I can feel a bit of relief, but quite honestly its the indifference which is killing me.

Some words of encouragement please....chin up cagedone...I must make sure I do not put her under any pressure....I must

I wonder how other people cope when they feel like this??