Thanks again for your comments, Ann, I am about a subtle as a brick when it comes to asking if I can orally please my wife with no expectation of sex in return. I basically have asked her point blank because I got tired of beating around the bush (forgive the pun). It appears that this is something that simply does not interest her :(
Its about 5 days after my birthday, and I am starting to feel stressed, not so much about the 5 days but because I know Sarah is about to reach that time of the month. The trouble is if her period starts it means that I am going to be locked away for at least another 8-10 days which means a 14 day stint, and for me this is reaching the limits of my endurance. Funny thing is in the past when I have been made to wait, once its started my PMS goes away, its like I have accepted my fate and know I am going to have to wait the extra 10 days anyway.
I guess I get kind of antsy, although for the last few months I have really tried to hide it. After all I have only been unlocked 4 times in total in 6 weeks. Whatever, this time Sarah must have sensed that I was getting antsy and she also know that her time was coming, so she offered to let me out.
To cut a long story short in the morning Sarah decided she wanted a break from the thing, although she acknowledged that the last 6 weeks had really been worth while. I do not think it will be the last time we will be playing with chastity, it is just simply a very busy time of the year, and as I mentioned before we are going on a O/S holiday in a few weeks so wearing is not going to be very practical, and then shortly after we will have Christmas and new year.
During our conversation regarding the break from caging, we talked about “around her finger” again and I told her I had the whole book now to which she replied “good”, and I suggested we pick things up when things had calmed down a bit, to which she agreed. As so many people reiterate communication is the key and it seems at last we are doing some of that. There was no friction during any of this, just calm discussion and acceptance, so it was all good.
Interesting now it has been a good few days now since that conversation, already I feel my self slipping away from submissiveness , the cage really does help one get into and stay in subspace. It makes one (well me) feel like doing all these things, alas once I have access once again to my favorite toy many of these feelings go out the window.
It does work as advertised, it truly does but it also takes a lot of perseverance. It may not be the perfect answer for everyone but I can honestly say it seems to help us along. I wonder if just simply wearing it, Sarah recognizes I am doing something just for her, I know it satisfies some part of me, but I think I am past the kink aspect. Initially sure it was a kink that turned me on, and I admit for god knows what reason it still does turn me on, the idea of being unable to masturbate, at a woman’s mercy still excites me, but that is no longer my real driving force. The driving force is to make Sarah happy, and I guess my real motivation is to increase our intimacy, by whatever form it takes.
I also find that I am not so enthusiastic about giving Sarah hour long massages, I am not sure if this is a reaction from me because I WANT her to ask me to cage up again or not. Some would say that withdrawal of service is toping from the bottom. Perhaps it is, but I just don’t feel the same kind of servitude as I did before.
I do worry that this blog focuses too much on caging and not enough on a female lead marriage, but Sarah is leading the way. I am still encouraging this behavior however Sarah does ask me to make decisions, it is not entirely fair to ask her to have the burden of all decisions, but Sarah does make the decisions she wants to. I would certainly love her to have a greater interest in sex….as in sex for her pleasure. I read about so many men in this kind of relationship who’s wives allow them to orally please them in-between releases. I am so envious of them, I so love the taste, there is nothing that quite compares as I find it quite the natural aphrodisiac. There is nothing like a responsive swollen flower being caressed into full bloom, and what that could do to my blood pressure, could be quite painful….
Right now I am coming down with a cold, so this might be a bit of a ramble. It seems a bit ironic that its 37 deg C (near 100F)and I have a friggin cold!!!...i am going to bed!!
It will be interesting to see how the next few weeks go prior to our holiday go
3 comments:
I wouldn't worry about things too much. It's probably just the pressure from the holidays. I hope you won't be offended if I make an observation. If you are, just delete this comment. It seems to me like you have a sub and an assertive side to your personality, and the assertive side may actually be stronger. Have you considered that the D/s relationship could just be occasional fun, and it doesn't have to be an entire lifestyle?
Hi Anne, I should be in bed, but here I am. Your spot on. I would class myself as a switch if anything from a D/S persepctive. There are elements of this when we do make love.
I think it is rare to find a purely submissive person. I enjoy both sides of the coin. I would love nothing more than to torture Sarah with some pleasure if she would let me.
I honestly think this (submissivness) is one aspect I have not explored fully before in my life, alas assertivness does filter through at times. In all the prior relationships I had I would have classed myself as the dominant assertive male....ie I did the tying up...lol...Sarah was the first woman that made me bow to her authority. If you read earlier on in this blog there was quite a struggle...and there still are at times. i do not think I can ever truely relinquish who I am, nor should I.
That said there is a very very stong attraction to this particular part of me which wants to be dominated sexually, I can't explain it, however its worth pursuing :) Sarah however is not the dominant type in the bedroom, the cage represents the very first time she has had a non negociable dom position in the bedroom.
Perhaps this is what is attactive.
Its a journey I guess, we will find out as we go along :) The key thing is that the indifferance to our sexuality has been tempered, and that has got to be a good thing :)
Anne is right i think mostr of us are swtiches to some extent. In my marraige though, my Wife had absolutely no interest in my dominainting Her in any way, so for me it's been to just completely embrace my submissive side, and having done so i can say that i have never been more happy.
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