Not exactly what I wrote

Call me a bit crazy, well I am sure I am, no doubt I will cope some heat from you all for this but then I have always warned I am not the perfect sub, or a perfect person by any stretch, probably a bit confused ...I had to laugh as I wrote that. I have been way to busy just recently to update this blog, and right this minute I am feeling the most unsubmissive to my wife in living marital memory there are reasons for that and it will pass......but now lets jump back a few months.....

I gave this to Sarah a couple of months or so ago. It is actually a earlier version, as my hard drive went down and this was a back up copy. it is not nearly as refined as what I gave Sarah to read, for a bit of a chuckle. What I was hoping to achieve was see if I could pop some idea into her head with out the pressure of her knowing that much of this was actually my fantasy. The only way I could think of, of perhaps offering information to her without toping from the bottom....this will be along read. I will tell you what happened later...but I presented this to her while I was caged, and in a pretty submissive state. All I will tell you is that she did NOT tell me I was a sick man....actually she told my son the next day...and he told me what she said (which really made me feel good about myself) that she thought that I was a really nice man...

Anyway here is is...:

Its took me about a year to completely accept the device that Geoff now wears between his legs. While I liked the effects it seemed to have on him I could not fathom why wearing such a thing would have such a bearing on his behavior. Not only that but I thought it was kind of weird and I felt like I was being cruel. I was worried that one day I might be made out to be some torturous bitch who enslaved her husband even if it was his idea.Yet I could not ignore the fact that it seemed to be having a positive influence on our marriage. I did not want to dismiss it out of hand and Geoff for god knows what reason seemed keen enough.

I decided to do a bit of research on the internet and what really helped me feel comfortable with it was the number of people using a device like ours. Based on sales figures 1 in 100 men in the western world own some kind of cock control device. I was very surprised that the number was that high or perhaps there are just lots of strange people, but many people means its not so strange! I just thought Geoff was weird but as it turns out not so uncommon when you consider all the men that should wear one that don’t, or that do not even know about them, or think they should and don’t act on it.

According to my research one of the driving forces behind the behavior change is the inability for Geoff to take matters into his own hand while wearing this device. Its pretty common knowledge that almost all men are chronic masturbators in fact many men are completely and hopelessly addicted to sex, but why not just abstain from the habit. Well Geoff openly admits he does not have the self control to abstain for any length of time, but he told me he did once for a week and the effect is not nearly as dramatic. But Why? It seems that the action of the device is of many facets. On one hand it prevents one from self pleasuring and on the other it seems that most men find it actually pleasurable to wear (at least during the day), it actually makes them almost permanently aroused because it feels like there is a hand holding their sex all the time. Each time they move there is a constant reminder who is in control of their goods. Since there is no way they can act on these good feelings their attention turns to the person who has the ability to release them. So if this is true then why don’t they get frustrated? Geoff tells me that after a few days he feels a overwhelming sense of love and adoration for me…isn’t that sweet. He says I grow angel wings.

Men in fact are far more interested in the chase for sex than the act itself and because wearing a cock cage they are horny all the time so they are in pursuit all the time and they are incapable of getting out of the pursuit feeling because they can’t masturbate. So it mostly comes down to a change in attitude and body chemistry. Men are wired for the pursuit of sex, once they get it and orgasm they go to sleep, if they wank, they don’t need you and resent the fact they have to. So cut off his ability to wank and couple it with constant arousal and you have a man in pursuit of you constantly wanting to please. He will literally climb mountains to please, he will even be hanging on your every word waiting for words of encouragement, he becomes totally tuned to what is your pleasure and transposes his own addiction to sex to wanting to pleasure you.

My research has also shown me that it seems as men get older the big “O” at the end of sex has far less importance than most women would assume. Yes ultimately that is what the chase is all about and it is important to remind him what the chase is about via teasing him, and it is also important that you reward him, but not too much…more on that later.

The other thing that internet sites talk up is the subtle power shift in a relationship that occurs once that lock thing is done up. Almost instantly I find Geoff to be more agreeable and nice to me, this is before there can be any physical contribution to his mental state. As the days pass this powershift seems to become greater and geoff becomes more and more submissive towards me but not to other people, I want and need him to be a strong man, my protector, but I enjoy the fact he will bend to me. Also I find if Geoff has been having a break from the device then it takes a lot longer for him to get back into the saddle. After a few days though I only need to say jump and Geoff really does say how high, and he is happy to do it!! Holding the key to Geoffs cock means that I decide when he gets an O, whether it be via sex or by other means. An awfully large incentive for him to be cooperative, some will read this as being manipulative. But what many women just don’t get is that men want to be manipulated by sex, they love it, they crave it and it makes them happy, so it truly is a win win if the woman is able to empower herself using her sex appeal. You get what you want and he gets what he wants and largely the woman does not have to put out. You don’t even need a chastity device for that, but it sure helps.

Geoff also told me that he feels obligated to ask for sex when he is free, and when I was not in the mood it really devastated him when I said no. The shift in power to me, means he does not feel obligated to ask for sex any more because he knows its up to me, in fact its against the rules for him to ask, and so it removes that pressure for him to ask. It actually helps to avoid Geoff feeling rejected because he does not need to ask.

But there were a still things that annoyed me about geoff and his cage though. One of them was that I would start to feel guilty after 4-7days and let him out because I began to feel pressure anyway regardless of if I felt like it or not, I could sense he wanted me to let him out. But to my surprise I could head off this building tension by teasing him intensely, in fact the more intensely I teased him the more it seemed to relieve him, this is because I am paying him sexual attention. One would think that this would increase his tension, which in a way it does, but in a positive sense. Indifference I found leads to frustration which is what I was initially because I was feeling that pressure! Teasing serves as encouragement, motivation, the promise of what will come if he works hard enough and behaves. The part of the psychology can not be simply ignored otherwise there is no point in playing it, and the whole relationship ends up being indifferent. I found that by teasing and denying Geoff I was able to extend the time he spent in his cage by quite large amounts, which meant we avoided the “down time” after he has had his O, and then when he did, it blew his socks off, and mine.

I also found that a lot of couples make formal rules about this adult play and in the end I decided if we were going to try this lifestyle at all we may as do it the right way, I am not sure if Geoff was entirely too sure about this at first but in the end he agreed, he really had little choice.

These rules that we use work for us. I am sure they will sound strange to some, they would have sounded strange to me a few years ago! We do not role play this 365 days of the year, most of the time our life continues along as it would normally. I think its also important to have a break from this play from time to time and we will take a few months break, but it is usually Geoff who offers to go back in.

There is no point in having rules unless there are penalties for breaking them. Any broken rules means that Geoff has to suffer sexually in some way, which makes this all the more entertaining and part of the engagement or sexual attention. Sometimes I will choose his punishment, other times we have a punishment bag with marbles in it. One color marble corresponds to a punishment which Geoff agrees to follow. Of course Geoff may stop the game at any time, but he understands that if the game stops then its over, finished, if not for good for a very long time. I recommend that you discuss this with your spouse them ask HIM to draw up the rules for your approval.

Our rules:

Geoff recognizes that any sexual attention is a privilege and not a given. He also understands that pleasing me sexually is a privilege and does not necessarily mean he will get to cum. Often when he pleasures me sexually he is unable to cum in any case.

1. Absolutely no asking for a release.
2. No hinting or asking in a whinny voice.
3. No reduction in service, reduction in service is paramount to extorting release. Geoff is required to service me in anyway I see fit. This includes full body massages, servicing me orally or any other way I want him to without his release, waiting on me hand and foot, or anything else I can think of. Geoff must earn his release, but it is not to be expected. I decide when that is.
4. When he is released Geoff may not have his O until I have had mine (sever punishment. Sometimes I try and make him O before me so I can punish him, he knows this and it makes it all the harder for him to resist).
5. Geoff may not have an O during sex unless I give him permission. Sometimes I may refuse him or delay it, and Geoff must thank me for it either for the denial or for release.
6. Absolutely no masturbation ever without my permission. No more morning after long showers remembering the night before. I will never ask him to lock but up but he expected to replace the cage as soon as he and it are clean. Many women suggest it is better to lock it back on as soon as sexual relations have finished, I am a bit lax here but I probably should.
7. Any attitude what so ever, while I do not want a sniveling wretch as a husband I do demand respect and compliance to any decision I might make.

The penalties:

1. locking keys in safe for a set period in addition to whatever time he has been already locked. We use a safe in conjunction with time lock. www.timelockrulesit.come.au Various options here, although Geoff knows how to work it. He is his own worst enemy, he suggested it.
2. Forgoing a release
3. Not permitted to pamper me for one day (sometimes this is a break , but ends up being punishment for me as well so that never lasts long). Complete indifference, this is Geoffs worst nightmare.
4. Tying his cage to his side of his bed, again Geoffs idea, but a good one. This is one of my favorite punishments because it leaves Geoff completely helpless. We attach his cage via one of the guide posts to the leg of the bed with sufficient length that Geoff can sleep comfortably facing away from me. This means that he can roll sufficiently so that I can have a massage if I choose, but once it is over I can choose to move to my side of the bed where Geoff can’t reach me. Of course this has lots and lots of other possibilities. I can tease him relentlessly because he is quite helpless, tickle, smack his bum, take him with my dildo or even masturbate myself out of his reach which just drives him crazy. Geoff can’t get up or touch me, wake me or get up in the middle of the night and disturb me. He must make sure he does not drink before bed so he does not need any midnight trips to the bathroom. If he needs to wake me then he knows the punishment will be sever.
5. Spanking, and yes I do spank Geoff sometimes see http://www.disciplinarywivesclub.com/ They have a huge membership. Men interpret a good spank as sexual attention strangely and its sure satisfying to me. The back of a hairbrush works wonders and his poor bottom can get quite red from my day to day frustrations. Geoff says he prefers being spanked to me ranting anyway. After he told me that I am not so sure he thought the same way, I made sure of that.

I can’t emphasis enough how important it is to engage in at least some form of teasing play. As with anything you will only get out of this what you put in. Ultimately your spouse/boyfriend, whoever will probably decide that its simply not worth his effort otherwise, after all he has given up his favorite toy. The longest amount of time I have denied Geoff his orgasm has been a month, but that was a very intense month and Geoff needed quite a lot of sexual attention even though he did not get to cum. These serve to push geoff’s buttons, he gets off when I control him sexually, so I test him and I have come to quite enjoy it.

1. I will give Geoff his key, but tell him that he will not be getting a O, then I will or I will tell him to edge. This means to bring him to the edge of his O and hold it there for a duration. After the session is finished he must go and replace his cage.
2. 30 second handjob. I like doing this when I have my period and I know Geoff is doing his best to hide the pressure that he feels in his loins. I give him his key and after he washes I ask him to bring himself to the edge, then when he tells me he is close I will give him a 30 second handjob. Since he has been caged he normally cums in under 10 seconds, hence he has his release and it has only taken 10 seconds of effort for me. If I am feeling particularly mean I will stroke him slowly. If geoff does not cum in the 30 seconds then he must replace his cage and wait until next time. He must thank me even if he does not get to cum.
3. Normal intercourse but I tell Geoff he must delay his O until morning, where I may use one of the above methods to release him. Sometimes the next morning if I am feeling really lazy I simply tell him he may take his time in the shower, but this is not preferred as I like to be the SOLE source of his pleasure. Sometimes of course I will inform him that I have changed my mind.
4. Numbing condoms, penis sheath or more than one condom, serves to thicken Geoff’s shaft but also means he gets little to no feeling. After I have had my O, Geoff has 30 seconds to complete. If he fails to complete then he has missed his chance to have a “O” and he goes back in his cage.

A belligerent Post

I probably should change the name of this blog from Journey into a wife lead marriage and change it to Married with a cage.

Sarah loves to be treated like a queen, She loves the massages, the attention, the special things that one can do, but I am coming to a conclusion that she is a lazy leader of our marriage.

That said I guess I have not gone into subspace yet, I caged myself a few nights ago, and I start to feel the trickles of subspace drifting in.

I tried to behave as identical as I could the last few weeks, and I had one crap sex session, then one great sex session then most recently it was crap again. So much for the well behaved correlation with good sex. It seems Sarah likes the cage, we have 100% hit rate then. Admittedly I go completely on overdrive when I am caged, I can’t stop massaging her, touching her wanting to be with her, like I said last time, it did my head in, so I needed a break. I still don’t know if its worth it or not, some would say anything is worth it to make your spouse, to make your marriage work, and it is true to a point.

I just miss wanking soooo much, I love it, I would rather make love to Sarah of course but making love to her 4-5 times a day is not going to happen in this reality, I would even give up wanking if I got to make love to Sarah once a day or probably even 2 or 3 times a week, nar 3 times a week…but once every 10 days on average…nope, my biceps are keeping on keeping on.

But not this week.

Oh no

I locked the fuckin lock again didn’t I

And I know jiggling the cage sucks big time, I would rather be in subspace and enjoy my rampant imagination at everything that looks remotely female wandering by.

I think in some respects its fortunate I have a cage on because I could see how one could take a woman by force , I would never do that of course all I am saying is I understand the forces that could drive a man. Wearing a cage sharpens your focus, it turns on a mans senses, it turns him into a hunter of sex. I look at a woman in the gym, the supermarket, the petrol station and the vivid images of us (whoever my target is) fucking tease my mind and my encaged cock. And vivid it is, it is a truly amazing thing the mind, how quickly is can determine what a woman’s body will look like naked under their cloths.

Women may as well not wear cloths, because I can undress them almost instantly in my mind and know what they will be like, if they will have dimples in their thighs, even the flexibility of their legs, how far they will be able to open them and be able to receive me. I will know if the texture of their skin is soft and white, or hard and rough, if their likely to swell up into a soft moist flower or be a tight grommet or loose gasket, if they are likely to enjoy the sharing of breath, a look in the eyes, if they are bold or if submissive.

I can tell by their faces what their breasts will be like, if they will be firm or motherly, succulent or empty, a handful or just a nipple to play with and tweek between a thumb and a forefinger.

Yes ladies a rampant man can undress you, and fuck you without even touching you, we take you all the time and you don’t even know it.

What many women fail to understand is that it matters not what their physical attributes are like, all women are worth fucking, all women have a hidden sexuality that once found can make a man willing to move mountains for them, it is just a matter of them finding it. Some do it naturally, you know, that frumpy girl that has a aura about her that just makes her sexy even though she is not anything to look at.

A womans aura, it overrides any physical attribute they may have, and in fact can enhance whatever physical attribute they are born with

Their sexually empowers them, find a honry man and he will climb mountains for you.

Why do women fail to see this energy they have, why do they not use it, what is their hang up about utilizing their sexual energy?

Truth is when I get home and I see Sarah, she is the only woman in the world, its like everything during the day has been a build up to her, and when I see her my whole being shrieks to me that I want her, I need her and I love her, all those vivid scenarios wash away and are replaced by a passion orders of magnitude more powerful, more important and more fulfilling, just if only Sarah would / could use it, and acknowledge it.

Perhaps by having a break this time Sarah might make more of an effort to acknowledge her power over me. Perhaps not, Sarah’s physical attributes are awesome for her age, and I am very lucky in that respect, but I would swap those same attributes for a woman who is prepared to embrace her sexuality any day.

There is inklings though.

When I told her a few nights ago that I was once again at her mercy (that’s how I tell her, that I am again at her mercy), she more or less said about time, and she has certainly being ordering her share of massages, even allowing me to view her bare bottom for a time (a big deal for me, and yes I know what it looks like but there is nothing like real flesh to make ones mouth drool). I think she even managed a hug for me. I sense that the break did her good as well as me, this morning when I woke her with a massage and a in bed coffee she told me how nice it was to be woken that way, contrast back a year ago when cage time started out and I would be berated for waking her period!.

Yes Sarah likes the cage, but I am not yet in subspace, or in total horny space, or whatever space it is. I still wonder if it is worth all the wanks I have already given up, but I am in an asshole mood today, a belligerent, alpha male mood. Can’t u tell?

Still I will probably be bloging more over the next week or so, that’s what happens when I am caged up, I need to write about it to sort out my own head.

Right now I am calm, I know after 6 or so weeks of caging (with release every 10 days or so) my sex drives falls right off, as does my ability to masturbate. After my long stint of being locked up it took a few weeks before I was able to return to my normal masturbation habits, but once its returned it seems my body is determined to make up for lost time and my drive over shoots normality and I will do it until it hurts.

I wonder where it will lead this time

BTW on a more submissive note, I bought a new solid ring for the cage, its smaller than the one I use now, its going to hurt more at night but it will make the cage virtually escape proof, its also going to be hard to put on. I practiced with the hinge one that came with the cb3000 and it took some doing getting both balls through. I have worn the hinged one in that size at night before a long time ago before Sarah knew about the cage and I am a bit anxious about Sarah controlling that lock up. I am also getting a stainless steel metal locking pin which will help stop ring movement, and of course remove the easy escape of using side cutters on the plastic pin

A summary of all

I have posted much of this previously so if you have seen a lot of this material before, this is a response in another forum, it ended up being rather lengthy but worthy of reposting here I think.

I originally intended this to be a reply to this thread http://www.lockmeup.com/discus/messages/66/2842.html?1172664540 but I ended up so far off topic I thought I should probably start a new thread. Hope this means something to someone :)

I can’t remember if I am a member here or not, but these days I generally lurk and read and move on. This thread though I have found fascinating, especially with Davey Dark playing the devils advocate.

I have owned a CB3K for near enough to 2 years and I do keep a blog http://cageone.blogspot.com/ for those with interest enough to bother reading it.

While my chastity experience has been less than the idyllic that some people would have you believe I think at least it is realistic. I do think the fantasy of being locked up is far better than the reality of it, well I at least enjoy fantasizing about it more when I am free for obvious reasons!!

But what I found it DOES do is change the way I see my wife. Whether it is ideal or not, and I would agree that one should feel idyllic about your spouse all the time, the divorce rate would indicate we live in a far from idyllic world!!

I do not think there is anything wrong with masturbation, and in fact it DOES serve as a safety valve for imbalance in sex drive that is apparent in so many marriages. While I freely admit I masturbate far more than I need to it does not interfere with my performance as a man. My wife can have me whenever she chooses, she just chooses not to most of the time because she has a low sex drive.

What I have found however in wearing a chastity cage is that there is the issue of making masturbation difficult, enough difficult that the effort is not worth it and the let down while still locked mentally horrible, the feeling of “what the %$@# am I doing this for” becomes an order of magnitude greater if u still have the cage on and you do manage to cum. The payoff is not worth it, so in many respects wearing a cage effectively eliminates masturbation at least for me.

So the first mechanism is lack of orgasm, but I have tried simply abstaining for a week with no cage and the feeling was not nearly as intense as while wearing a cage why??

The second mechanism is after a few days the cage at least for me begins to actually FEEL GOOD, when I move the action of my penis inside the cage actually feels like I am in a pussy, or at least in something, it feels nice. Driving along in a car I have nearly but not quite been able to cum just by rocking forwards and back, but just as it does begin to feel good of course swelling begins and the action stops leaving one in a state of arousal, interestingly not frustrated but aroused.

Being aroused a man is in pursuit frame of mind, he wants sex, and is prepared to do anything to get it. EVEN be very very nice to his wife no matter what she says, and this I believe is where wearing a chastity cage is likened to the courtship days of a marriage, some people call it subspace, it is all the same thing. But it is common knowledge men like the thrill of the chase, which is the enjoyable part of chastity, is chasing your spouse, pleasing her wooing her into releasing you. But lets be clear, as much as pleasing your spouse an important part of the process, the release IS the target, it is the culmination of acknowledgements that you have succeeded in pleasing your spouse.

The third mechanism is the awareness of your situation, like a gloved hand holding you cock constantly, the knowledge that your wife is the ONLY one that can release you keeps your mind focused where it should be on your spouse, the subtle power shift. While I admit women in general become infinitely more attractive after a few days caged, and I find myself undressing women in the supermarket in far more greater detail than normal (well I do it when I am uncaged also but my imagination goes on overdrive) the arousal is further enhanced by other woman, but with the knowledge that one can’t do anything about it anyway so there is no guilt associated with it because sex with another is no longer realistic. Focus on ones spouse is certainly enhanced.

The forth mechanism is closely tied to the third mechanism, and only works up to a point. At least for me after a certain period of time uncaged I almost feel obligated to try it on for sex, ask my wife for sex, when or if I am rejected, my response is almost well stuff u then I will have a wank, or a realization that my next release will be coming from my own hand, an end to the pursuit mode. A waste of arousal by my own hand. Of course abstinence could well be a solution to this but it does not address the rejection, masturbation only acerbates these destructive feelings. Wearing a cage means that my wife decides purely and simply when sex will occur, it helps take away the feeling of obligation to ask for sex, and rather increases a need for other sexual energy, and I know I can’t waste my sexual energy by masturbation. I do find though if I feel I deserve a release then my inner turmoil can reach a point close to breaking, but it does largely transfer the power of sexual initiation to your spouse. Sure one could harass your spouse for the key and she would probably give it over, but after the INVESTMENT of days in a cage without orgasm, you really WANT the release to be special, and you KNOW its only going to be special if your wife decides when.

Getting back to an earlier statement, fantasy is quite different from reality. I often fantasize about my wife keeping me locked up for weeks on end even months, occasionally I will even have a no orgasms for the rest of my life wank. But the reality is after about 10 days (I have gone 15 days locked up) I start climbing the walls. I know that the game stops being enjoyable after about 7 days. The fantasy about my wife mercilessly teasing me, paying me endless sexual attention without my release, giving her oral sex is never going to be anything other than a fantasy. The reality is that I end up teasing myself, I scrape tidbits of tease by pressing up against her flesh while I massage her. She is not into the tease bit, in fact I am hard pressed to identify changes in HER behaviour, although she does seem to be happier and she will reward me at the end of a cage session by making a proper effort at sexual intimacy and it usually IS awesome. But is it worth it?? I find myself far more emotionally needy, I need and crave hugs and intimacy aside from sex, and this scares me sometimes.

One of the reasons I am not locked now, my wife will not take the step of asking me to wear it, nor do I really expect her to or probably want her too, but that is another discussion. But the other reason is that if I do put it on my wife tends to leave it on until I start climbing the walls!! I find myself in this needy state which is not sated by other forms of intimacy.

Getting back to the thread topic, if my wife DID pay me SEXUAL ATTENTION during the time between releases I think I probably could go for a month or more without release and probably enjoy it. If she did tease and deny me, with the knowledge ultimately I would get released I think that would be an interesting enjoyable trip. But the trip would ONLY be enjoyable if my wife got something out of it as well.

Right now I am in the process of trying to behave identically uncaged as with the cage and see if the intimacy can stay on the level. That way of course I get to keep my favourite plaything and wank about being locked up as often as I like. I will end up locking it back on just because it is kind of addictive, and my wife does not object to the device. And it does make the fantasy better if occasional reality occurs. On the other hand I want to convince myself its worth locking myself back up again. It really is a hot and cold kind of fiasco.

Unfortunately I doubt I will ever find out what it would be like to be the husband of Princess Melanie, I can see a huge attraction and a path to where they are, but also there are aspects that are far beyond my limits. But who is to say that those limits would not change should the path be walked rather than imagined.

Then some would say that perhaps in marriage there are some paths that should never be walked.

P.S. I will probably post this on my blog as well.

Mind Blowing

A week after my release and my request for a break, although I am still very much in a submissive frame of mind I feel it slipping away, and old habits returning in terms of self gratification. I make a really special effort though to keep up the massages, and keep up the service, as if I was still under the key so to speak.

So many people have told me to drop the cage, I wanted to see if it made any difference.

I maintained my level of service like any good submissive would, except I begun to feel less and less like doing so.

After about 8-9 days I tried in on for sex and Sarah said no, maybe tomorrow night, again, as if I was caged I simply gave her a back rub and went to sleep, admittedly with an expectation for the following night, well I was on a promise ffs.

Tomorrow night came and Sarah did not stop me, which is usually the only sign I get that intimacy is going to be on, so I proceeded, Sarah demanded a long massage, that’s find, I can deal with that, and we proceeded, and for once it was bare back, normally while caged I wear a condom.

But it was crap.

Sarah could not or would not get into it, I tried not to put pressure on her, but she wanted me to cum, so I did so in a bit of a hurried way, I hate having sex when its just me that’s enjoying it, so once I realized it wasn’t working for Sarah, I managed to cum in under mmmm 10-15 seconds I guess, only because Sarah gets very guilty if I don’t, something I have tried to manage before by assuring her its ok that I would rather wait for her, but this puts her under more pressure for next time…..so alas.

It would seem caging does at least improve our sex life. Not once following a cage session has Sarah failed to get her motor started, I guess this has got to be telling me something.

*I murmured that I guess my break away from being caged should probably come to an end, Sarah did not really respond, nor did I expect her too but I did get an enthusiastic hug goodnight, I guess that means yep…

So the following day I put it back on, Sarah has the key already as per usual so its just a matter of me closing the lock. This time I did so without too much trouble. Later on that evening at bed time during her nightly massage I told her that she could sleep easy again, and well, she just smiled at me but then she told me that I wasn’t to wake her in the morning moving about or giving her a back rub at first light, and also that I wasn’t to be getting up in the middle of the night either, and if I woke her I would be in dog doo doo. In fact she added that she should tie me down (in my dreams I thought), still I felt a little twing..lol

I did manage to comply but I lay there thinking about things for a while, and I thought about how I could stop myself from moving about , getting up, forcing myself not to drink before bed so I did not have to get up and use the toilet. I did come up with a rather kinky idea, which I was not sure if Sarah would go for or not, but hey I thought this was pretty cool. I did manage to get through the night ok, although I did get up much earlier than Sarah because I wanted to go rummage for some materials in my shed. I found one of those steel eye screw things, a real solid one that can screw into wood.

I knew Sarah was going out for the day and I only work pretty local so I went up to the DYI store and bought some strong cord, but covered in soft plastic, I know you know the cord I mean, and also some clamps so I could make loops in the end of the cord, then I went home and screwed the eyelet into the bottom of the base of our bed, approximately where my waist would be, I then lay down and measured how much cord it would take if I attached it to my guide pins on my cock cage so that I could lie comfortable facing the edge of the bed but so that if the cord was attached to the eyelet it would prevent me from rolling over, in fact without maneuvering a fair bit I would not even be able to face Sarah unless I was right on the very very edge of the bed.

So now I had a system where I could attach myself by my cock to the bed via a padlock, there was something kind of erotic about this as I played with the padlock and key I had purchased, there I was lying there on the bed with my pants down and a cord attached to my cage with no cutting implements near by, I closed the lock. Of course I had the key so I could unlock myself but I could not help but imagine, what if the key wouldn’t work, or if I suddenly, I don’t know had a spasm and threw the keys out of reach. I would be basically stuck there, tied to the bed by my cock. Imagine my embarrassment when Sarah got home, having a nap are we dear???, what that’s you say?, what do u want “the key” for?

I did actually feel a sense of vertigo at the thought of it, what would be worse if one of my boys came home early and wondered why dad wouldn’t get out of bed. Hmmm sufficient to say I did not leave it locked longer than was necessary to check I had the length correct, to enable unimpeded sleep yet I would be unable to touch Sarah at all unless she wanted me too.

Night time came and I did have everything ready so that I would not have to make a fuss about it. As I lay there after Sarah had finished watching her TV shows and I had spent a long time rubbing her back, I said to her that I had found a solution to disturbing her in the morning. Now you have to understand Sarah has clearly accepted the cock cage, this is not a particularly large step, just another dimension, well that’s what I kept telling myself. So I handed Sarah the key to my second padlock, truth is she kind of rolled her eyes, and did not say anything, nor did I show her anything as it was actually out of her view. I could have still actually gotten out of it but I attached myself and closed the lock, no going back now I thought. I simply said to Sarah after I had been fiddling for a bit, kind of on purpose to get some attention, there, now I CAN’T wake you early in the morning.

At first she did not say anything but I was hoping and it did, curiosity got the better of her, “what do you mean” she asked as she kind of moved over for a bit of a look. So I showed her, and I then showed her that I could not actually roll over much to face her. Sarah then said, well THIS is probably the best development I have EVER seen, I can’t believe you have tied yourself to the bed by your balls!!! She thought it was really funny before she remarked I guess that makes you quite helpless then, and then as if to test the theory she started tickling me, fark I was not expecting that, and she was relentless, and she was right I was helpless, completely, the then flounced out of reach, and I looked at her with feigned anger, that’s not fair I said.

Sarah then said more seriously, so you really can’t get off then?, I said well no its attached to the cage and you know I can’t get that off!, “What happens if there is a fire she asks?” Fair enough I thought, so I told her that I really could break the cage open if I really had to, but it would destroy it. The truth is however it would not be that simple with the KSD inserted it might take some doing to get it off without damaging myself but I was prepared to take that risk, I made a mental note to keep some metal side cutters next to the bed just in case I had to cut the guide posts.

Alas Sarah seemed to like the idea. As she had finished tickling me and I was forced to arrange myself for sleep, Sarah to my surprise actually came over and gave me a hug from behind. Normally I wear a tee shit to bed and Sarah wears a long nighty, the only time I see whats under the nighty is when we are having sex and I am permitted to fondle her breasts. Now, I was not able to turn to face Sarah but I sensed that there was less material in-between my back and Sarah than there should be, had Sarah actually taken off her nightly? No way, but the thought of it instantly made me hard inside my cage, along with the scent of Sarah’s breath whispering over my shoulder.

But then Sarah started shifting a bit, it actually felt like she was grinding her pubic bone into my botton, now my bum was bare, and there was no mistaking the fact the Sarah had nothing on down there either. This can’t be happening I thought, this is not like Sarah but then she EVEN actually pushed my teeshirt up and brushed her BARE breasts on my back followed up by grinding her pubic bone even harder against me. WTF OK OK I thought there was no mistaking that, and I was now hard enough inside my cage to really know about it bordering on pain. I have always asked her to tease me a bit more when I am caged, but she has NEVER done so, I could not help thinking now that perhaps its because the cage only makes my cock helpless, not ME ENTIRELY.

I reached my hand over the side to Sarah’s arse without saying anything, fact is I know Sarah hates me speaking at times like this, and I felt her small bare arse in my hand, and god I love the feel of that arse, it felt like silk, so warm and so close, and my situation I was in had obviously done something for Sarah.

What surprised me even more was it was like her pussy was radiating heat, I swear I could feel warmth and that she was horny but I dare not test the theory, because if my hand wandered to far down there I know that I would be in the shit so, but my imagination was running rampant. I was sure I was just fantasizing. Then Sarah actually spoke to me, she said, you know I just realized you really are completely helpless for the very first time in our marriage, I could do anything I want to you, and there is nothing you could do about it.

I attempted to roll on to my back a bit so I could face her but the cord pulled on my balls preventing me, I was very much a helpless man in Sarahs grip, As I had moved my hand back I managed by complete accident (not) to brush the back of Sarahs pussy, omg I was not wrong about the heat, she was wet.

I actually felt dizzy as this realization came over me. I had not been here before, many many times in my dreams but the reality? Sarah did not pull away as she normally would if my hand brushed her pussy, in fact she seemed to want me too, now my cock was extremely hard, and throbbing within its confines, I felt short of breath and yet I was in a state of ecstasy. Should I risk it, or should I behave, should my hand find her wet pussy again, there was no mistaking it, Sarah was horny, and my helpless situation was the cause.

My hand went behind me and I touched her heaven again, and again she did not pull away in fact Sarah positioned herself so I COULD touch her, and I did, she was wet, and truly swollen down there, again I tried to turn and again the pull of the cord on my cock prevented me, “no fair” I whispered, Sarah actually gave ne a nip on the neck and one of her hands draped over my chest play with my chest hair, while she brought up a leg and rubbed it over my hip, and my hand had better and better access but the angle was making my arm sore. I was not sure how long I could keep it up, but I was determined not to make a mess of this situation….my hand was nearly drenched, I had not felt Sarah this horny since I can’t remember when. I can’t describe the mixture of emotion that coursed through my mind and body, my painful cock and yet I was just so happy that something I had done had aroused Sarah so.

I really wanted to give Sarah a orgasm, there was only one way I could think of that I could possible manage it…there was a bit of movement going on my down, there were no more games about hiding the fact that the was a game a foot. And Sarah once aroused tends to be a lot more open to suggestions…so I slid off the side of the bed, I was so close to the side anyway, this caused some slack in the cord enabling me to turn and face Sarah and I gently rubbed and opened her legs before I lent down and begun to taste what has been such a long hiatus from giving oral sex to Sarah. Sarah states that she does not like oral sex yet every time I have performed for her she climaxes quickly, so it has always been a bit of a puzzle why she says she does not like it. She does say that the prefers me to be “in” her when she cums, perhaps that is simply it. Whatever she did not resist me now even though I felt nervous about breaking the atmosphere. Sarah opened her legs completely for me and I was very conscious of listing to her and monitoring what she liked and what she did not.

Then Sarah actually moved away from me. I was not sure at first, I thought she was getting herself more comfortable, but then she moved again, and as I moved to recommenced I felt a sudden tautness down there. Sarah was teasing me I could not reach her pussy with my mouth because of the cord holding my cock to the base of the bed …I looked up at her and I saw her majestic breasts and then, my heart nearly stopped when I saw her wicked smile, it was nearly scary. It seems Sarah is not so innocent after all….I stretched on the cord and it pulled on my balls and I was able to just reach…and yet Sarah inched away again…yet my hands could still reach her so I grabbed her legs firmly yet gently and pulled her too my mouth, I am not THAT helpless I thought, Sarah did not resist and a few seconds later Sarah climaxed in my mouth, whereby me kneeling at the side of the bed and Sarah rested on her back she slowly closed her legs and returned to her side of the bed.

The only thing she said to me was,”I think you had better get used to that leash” before kissing me on my lips that were still slippery with her juices….

I knew better than to say anything, but I lay there a long time, awake, I was so satisfied and yet so frustrated, it was a long time, the scent of her pussy woke me various times in the night. I must have woken from nigh time erection more times than ever before. Come morning I needed to use the bathroom, but I couldn’t, I had to lay there for about an hour waiting for Sarah to wake up whereby Sarah just looked at me and said, “is something wrong?” before going off to the bathroom herself.

So I guess I should get back to reality now, the bit after the “*” was the stuff of dreams.

After the rain

Hi Tom, I understand exactly where you are coming from, I have in fact succeeded in hiding these feelings of frustration completely from Sarah, she is not aware of the inner turmoil I feel, if she knew then she would say games over anyway.

One thing that does make the game harder is the lack of sexual attention or acknowledgement, this has been covered over and over, and perhaps its simply not a game that should be played by a couple that has such a busy life, with 4 kids.

I certainly am more needy when my cock is locked up, I need more emotional reassurance from Sarah to make me feel happy each day. If she does not have this emotional support to give then perhaps I should give the cage away. I am not sure if I am truly seeking a D/S relationship persay any more, I am and have always been looking for a way of increasing intimacy with Sarah, and have been exploring different ways of achieving this. I must admit that being dominated by a woman sexually certainly triggers arousal in me, but at the same time dominating women from a D/S perspective also arouses me. For Sarah I am quite happy to play either game. Fact is I would play ANY game Sarah wanted me too. I just want her to engage with something.

I always start out OK, I always start out thinking Sarah can keep me locked up for a month this time, I even feel turned on by the thought, I have even fantasized about longer periods, but these fantasies are always accompanied with substitute sexual attention, ie Sarah allowing me to service her with my tongue, or Sarah teasing me mercilessly or milking me with a strapon, or me having sex with Sarah with a strapon (no release for me). Unfortunately none of these substitutes for release are ever likely to happen, and so the only sexual attention I ever get is when I get let out!! I have even suggested to Sarah that some of these substitutes might be a way of keeping it on for longer, but she does not seem very interested.

Sarah did let me out on Thursday night last week, and once again Sarah made a very special effort, it was a really really good session. I was even permitted to suck on her nipple, which was something I am not usually allowed to do. It was really very nice.

It is hard to tell if it is the cage resulting in this, or if it is the fact that Sarah knew she had stretched me over the last few days and that because I had kept the pressure off, kept my mouth shut, I was rewarded. And rewarded I was.

I still struggle though, waking every night twice a night, nightly and morning massages, extra chores around the house while she sleeps in. IS it worth for sex that I would get anyway, it would just not be as good. But then, Sarah DOES seem much happier, but is this because I am doing more around the house and have taken the pressure for sex right off her or is it because she is denying me self pleasure.

Yet I have tried simply keeping up the service and I honestly do not think that Sarah seems as happy. I think she is happiER when I am locked up. Sarah also becomes more conscious of how long it has been since I have had a release. It makes it harder for her to ignore sex and intimacy.

In any case I am still free. I asked Sarah if she minded if I took a break for a while. I told her it was “doing my head in” which it is, plus we went camping over the weekend and I was glad to be free for that, just simply because it would have been a hassle.

But now I am thinking should I put it on tonight?, Sarah did take the key again, it was in the morning after while I was massaging her if she minded if I took a break. Sarah of course agreed, in fact she claimed she did not even know I had been wearing it till a few days prior (a little white lie I do believe). Sarah still wants to remain indifferent to its use.

And so begins the cycle of should I or shouldn’t I.

I probably should but I don’t know if I want to.

Of course if Sarah asked me to I would, but I know now she will never ask me to. There is good reason for this. If she did ask me to then it would mean she wanted me to do it, and then this could give rise for greater resentment when I felt like I deserved release.

Like Digger, on his birthday, I would have been upset, as I was on Valentines day. That said, I bet that what made digger more angry is because she FORGOT, it was the indifference that made him angry, as it does me. If Sarah was doing it to me to tease me then I would be Ok with it. I bet if for Diggers birthday Arwyn had said, now digger tonight I am not going to release you BUT for your birthday I am going to have you service me with your tongue, he would be in heaven….as I would be.

Its hard to be in a D/S mindset when only one of u is in the mindset, now lets not get into, its hard to be in a D/S mindset when one of you has little or no libido.

Let me ask a question, find me a Domina or Mistress that does NOT have a libido to go with it. That does not mean they are necessarily interested in men, but they have an interest in sex, or exchange of sexual attention.

While the pink vibrator indicates that Sarah has a bit of a sex drive, I read somewhere that women masturbate roughly in the same frequency that they like to have sex. That means that Sarah would probably like to have sex about twice a month, I would hardly classify that as having high libido, although judging by some I am not so badly off!!!.

What I would do to peer into her mind, I asked Sarah very recently again if she ever fantasizes, and she once again said nope, I went on to complain that in the 14 years or so we have been married she has never once shared any fantasy with me. I was bold enough to ask if she was interested in mine, pffft…I should have known better…

I inclined to run with it off for now, and watch digger suffer at the hands of the Forever Aroused Girl. I think I will keep the service up (although it is certainly easier to keep the service up while caged, I genuinely like that aspect) and see how it runs. I know I probably have at least one more session this cycle coming my way. It might serve as a control. I am enjoying my freedom probably too much, Oh interesting though following nearly three weeks of restricted orgasm, I do find my ability to self pleasure has diminished somewhat. I have observed this before, but after a week or so it comes back. If your not using it you do loose it, but then I am rather a chronic self pleasurer when I am free.

Pressurisation

Thanks again for your valuable comments.

Your dead right digger, there was a lot going on there with the vib thing, Pics?, hmmmm USB webcam on a long extension, could record hours and hours that way!!

Its actually been a long few days.

Someone said that its not really Sarah that’s struggling with the cage any more its me. To be honest your probably right. Its tough after a week. Its funny physically I have no really issue wearing it all the time. I do like the mindset it puts me in and I am sure Sarah does as well. But the mind is an amazing thing, it can make you physically feel that you HAVE to have a release.

Truth is after about 3 days I know I am “full” because even without using a prostate milking tool if I squeeze my tummy muscles like I am trying to crap I can actually squeeze ejaculate out sometimes, sometimes quite a lot and it serves help remove the pressure to some degree.

Where I seem to have real major issues is when I feel like I should be let out. For example if Sarah does not seem tired, the kids are asleep, I have done everything she has asked me to, I have delivered on nightly and morning massages, done all my chores then I figure I have earnt it. Then at bed time I feel extremely stressed partially because Sarah always makes me wait till the last moment, and never ever gives me a indication either way. Over the last few nights not only have a felt stressed by I physically felt I was ready to explode…quite literally felt as if I have a billard ball up my clacker. During the vib night I did actually try and relieve that by using the aneros, and it did help but obviously the scene in my mind playing with Sarah and the vib/dong (it never has batteries in it) drove me nuts over the weekend.

On Monday night was the worst, as I knew I had to travel (plane) Tuesday morning, everything seemed fine. Sarah was in a good mood, kids went to sleep, Sarah had has suitable time for vib recovery, so I thought it would be good. But nope, Sarah left me alone. She did not produce the key.

I have to admit I ended up simply asking her if she intended on freeing me, just so I knew what the score was. I asked without any pressure, because there was no way I was going to be able to sleep unless I knew one way or the other. Sarah simply says, my bladder is a bit dicky tonight…ARRRGGGGGG !!!...I felt like screaming, and saying yeah you probably stabbed yourself in the bladder when you were using your vib the other day!! Alas I kept my mouth shut, and I actually told her I loved her and gave her a hug and tried to sleep.

Now I must admit, here is certainly a dark side of chastity, locked for a week, desperate to cum, no recognition of this need, to make matters worse I was stressed about this business trip, and of course there is always the ever present fear that the lock will set the metal detector off!!

Yet I could not help feeling Sarah knew full well what she was doing, the weird thing is if she had of chosen to say to me that she wanted me to wait until I got home for release, or she liked the thought of me traveling caged, or something to that effect, that she was DOING it to me then I am pretty sure I would have been in heaven. But to say simply she has a dicky bladder, left me feeling unfulfilled even if it was true. As I mentioned previously I was ready to explode but I kept my mouth shut. After massaging Sarah in anticipation of the key I was actually quite hard inside the cage and it was feeling nice as they do until you get a full rockon.

Then would you believe I actually came. I could not believe it, it was kind of a shock really. It was a crap orgasm of course, it was more like a overflow than a orgasm, although there was definitely a orgasmic component. It would seem the pressure was so great that my body simply took care of itself. But nothing really came out because my cock was squeezed tight inside, later on though when things softened down, well ick.

At least this allowed me to go to sleep, and because it was kind of a accident I did not feel such a depression as I did before, although I did feel some let down it was not nearly as pronounced. I actually slept until 5am which is pretty good but once I woke up I could not sleep again as it was near time to get up to go to the airport.

It remains a scary thing once your booked in and you are cueing to go through the metal detector. The first time I did this despite what I had read on the internet I actually at that point had a third key for the lock, and I removed the lock and walked through with the lock in my pocket to test it. I did this about 4 times previously (some time ago).

I destroyed that third key ages ago, I actually cut it in half with some side cutters, the two bits sit in my office draw at work, and yes I do look at them from time to time. Useless. So this trip was actually the first time where there was absolutely no going back. It was locked on and if it went off, well, I would be red faced I guess. It really does make u paranoid though, when there is a huge number of people waiting to go through and every third one of them sets off the alarm. I do wonder about this people though, I mean how fucken stupid are they, the lumps of metal they carry on them while they attempt to walk through. What are they thinking? Does every third person really want to test the system that badly?

But this fact makes one very nervous. Have they turned up the sensitivity since I last passed through? Maybe this one is more sensitive than the ones I passed through when I had the lock in my pocket. All these things passed through my mind as I walked through, and didn’t set it off. I might add I also have a belt buckle on that probably has more metal than the lock I have on my cage.

Btw digger I do not have the original master lock, I have one that has a much deeper more complex key but its not any larger but I doubt I could pick it.

Alas I know I can pull out the back despite using a KSD. The fact is that wearing a CB3000, it does prevent sex %100, but it only really discourages masturbation. It really does succeed in discouraging masturbation. Its not fun, and you can’t get it off once its locked on, so once you get by the obsession of wanting something escape proof then the CB3000 is just fine. There is no such thing as a escape proof device, its even possible to cum in a metal full belt by using a orbital sander as a vibrator, so there is a element of self control in everything.

I do think the CB3000 succeeds though in increasing the value of a orgasm. Sure you can have one while inside, but they are almost always shit and just make u feel bad. Sex on the other hand with Sarah has never been better. I just wish she released me more often.

So the trip ended up going OK and I returned home on the evening flight, I was very tired, I did passed through the metal detector once again without so much as a blip.

On arriving home I was informed that one of our mice had died, one of my children was devastated and my six year old had told the 9 year old to stop crying because after all its only a mouse. This in turn upset my wife who now wonders how she has failed to instill the value of life, any life into our six year old. And so it goes when you have four kids. There is always something causing unrest. The mouse had actually been unwell for weeks, and we were considering having it put down, so in some respects its death was welcomed.

I had 2 beers to unwind, one before dinner, one during, and I did finally start to relax after my trip, although later on in the evening those two beers just made me tired. I just wanted to go to bed, despite how tired I felt, I still really really anticipated being released that night. Although there was not nearly the same amount of pressure as the previous night, gawd all I had to do is look at Sarah’s butt and hooley dooley!!!

Sarah told me she wanted an hours peace before I came to bed, no problem I am used to this requests and I asked her if she wanted a drink of hot chocolate or anything else to which she politely declined (unusual). So I went and watched the end of a movie and fiddled around with a few things. Now I have learnt never to assume now that release is a given, I am a bit superstitious and figure I am tempting fate if I go to bed without my night time prep so I did the bandaide thing over the vent holes and vaso on the balls and went to bed.

Sarah was awake and waiting for me, but she was tired I could tell, Sarah said, “I don’t suppose you could let me have a early night could you?”. Now it can be as simple as that, the simple acknowledgement that she knows I need release but she is too tired for it that can diffuse so much of my internal pressure. I explained to Sarah that there was no point in releasing me if she was not up to it, that this is meant to mean that she is only to release me if she really feels like it….

But then she kind of spoiled it, she says to me that if she is not asleep in 10 minutes she will let me out, arrrgggg. You have no idea what its like to lie there quietly waiting for her to go to sleep, wondering if she is asleep, then the slightest sound, or movement causes one to bleep out of sleep because it might be Sarah about to give me the keys.

As a result I COULD NOT GET TO SLEEP, despite being totally exhausted.

Eventually I did though and woke as usually at about 5AM, but this time I succeeded in returning to sleep to be woken again just before the alarm, all in all a good night.

I did chastise Sarah lightly and humorously for keeping from sleeping, and for once she said that her night was great and she had a good sleep. Yet she told me she wanted a break from me massaging her this morning. Weird she did not want one last night either. She did qualify it though when she said, just for the day.

Sarah became to grumble about her old bones and body, to which I responded by telling her how beautiful she was. Sarah claimed “but not for much longer” indicating she is getting older.

“you will always be beautiful to me, no matter what” and THAT was the right thing to say because I was rewarded with a very neked lingering embrace.

Tonight, tonight, tonight…but don't expect...how can I not? but what if she doesn't, she will, I hope, this is the hardest part. Oh yes this part is true about chastity, it sure makes the man think about their spouse a WHOLE lot more...lol

Then do I put it back on?….U know I feel like I could do with a break, we are going camping this weekend, only for one or two nights tho, not really an excuse not to wear it although there will be other families we know there.

I think I probably should if Sarah takes the keys, I think she does like the control, although as digger said I don’t know if she wants to be the total “leader” of our household, but there are different elements of a relationship where one can take charge, Sarah seems to be at least prepared to give me some of her mind share on this. I do wish she would admit it to herself and to me that there is a power element she is enjoying and hence she could get a lot more from me and a happier husband if she actually pushed my buttons.

Spose I better do some work

The pink vibrator

I have always told you I am less than a perfect sub, I am also less than a perfect husband, spouse, father , and anything else you consider male.

I guess part of being submissive is acceptance of this fact.

Tonight’s post is because I feel like an asshole, because I have spied on Sarah, not directly but enough to know that she has been fucking herself.

A few years ago I bought Sarah a jelly vibrator. We bought it to together with a view to finding a way to get her motor started together.

Somehow I knew it was ever going to be a masturbatory tool for her.

But wait Sarah does not have a libido, she is a LL, so why would she need one of those.

Take note LL wife people. Wives can be very convincing, but they will never ever ever admit they masturbate.

Sarah does, even though Sarah won’t admit it.

I just wish she would share it with me, not the same thing I guess, so much for the intimate trust of a married partner, I kinda feel betrayed in a way. Cuckhold to a dong. A t the same time I have betrayed her because I spied on her.

So how do I know? Well after we bought it we tried it a few times and the fact is it did not really help much. It’s about 6 inches long, not sure how wide, all I can tell you is that I do actually exceed it in length and girth by minimal amounts. My yardstick in girth is if you can fit inside a toilet paper roll., which I am happy to say I don't just barely

To cut a long story short. Sarah kind of indicated it had died and gone to heaven, yet I know, where she hides it in her closet. I know exactly the way it lies, and I also know when it moves, and when it has been used. To validate the movement, there is also the KY jelly tube, for a long time Sarah has needed a supplement to her own lubrication, not exactly a turn not, but a necessary addition to the tools required for a family with four kids.

So what about me, caged and all, how do you think it makes me feel to know your wife has been making use of her dong and I can't even return the favour? OK if she did it WITH me, and denied me, no problem, then she is sharing her intimacy with me. That would actually be a turn on for me. But because she did it herself…..man that’s hard

Truth is, I felt realllly horny in any case knowing she had being having sex with her pink vibrator….in fact so horny, since I had read that some men had succeeded in jiggling their cage to the point where they had cum so I decided to try it.

I am so so sorry to report I succeeded, it was a crap orgasm though. I equate it to a ruined orgasm. I felt it Cumming, It spurted, and it was gone. Yet I never got to feel my shaft in my hands, or enjoy the full climax, it was a waste and just left me feeling depressed and degenerate. And to top it off, I am sure u have read, the hot and cold feeling I have had about chastity, imagine your caged and u cum, and then you wonder why you are doing this at all, yet your caged and can't get it off anyway. It’s a bad thing. Don’t do it, its not worth it, seriously not worth it. The only reason I was ABLE to cum what because of the pressure in my loins, once released. The release was not worth it and its taken me at least 24 hours to feel any semblance of submission once again.

Tonight, well I know Sarah has to be up early tomorrow, so I know its not on tonight, yet I know Sarah feels under pressure to release me. I am thinking I should tell her that from now on I want her to control my orgasms…I deserve to be caged for a very long time.

This is definitely the low point of this cage session. One thing, I guess you live and learn. I don't intend to be jiggling the cage ever again, although it was really a turn on to know Sarah had been using her tool.....

Just wish, she would do that with me in the room, while I was holding her....

Stuff of dreams

Well yesterday sucked,

I was at work, working away and around lunch time I decided to give Sarah a call because I just wanted to hear her voice, I don’t normally call her at home during the day for two reasons, one is she does not really like to be disturbed and the other if she happens to be doing something she doesn’t like then she can be in a awefull mood.

Sarah does not have a job, although she is kept very busy with our four children, yet many people do not have this luxury, and in spite of having 4 kids the wife HAS to work.

Fortunately I earn enough that Sarah does not have to work and we still get to go away on holidays at least twice per year, I generally chew through all of my available leave.

Anyway back to yesterday, I decided to use the excuse to remind her that there was a nice salad that I had made from the night before in the fridge and I was going to suggest that she ate it for lunch.

Well you have no idea, for the next 20 minutes a got a ear bashing about how she has wasted her life in this house and that she is 44 years old and has no life, and all she ever does is tidy up, pick up and that this is serious this time, she wants to go away for 3 months and see how we fare.

Ok I know its not easy being a housewife, and I try and help our as much as I possible can, of course our kids do not do enough to help, but that’s kids. I can’t even pay my eldest to do the back lawn because he is a spoilt brat and has no need for money.

We even paid for a cleaner for a while but Sarah found she spent so much time getting the house ready for the cleaner that it wasn’t worth it!!

I think we need a live in maid, but we could never afford that as well, we are not rich, just make enough that Sarah does not need to work. I have suggested previously that she might LIKE to work, but that is always met with scorn.

Well following a conversation like this I felt like ripping my cage off, of course I can’t. I don’t feel submissive at all when Sarah gets like this. I know its tough for her. A very pretty lady stuck in a house with four kids, but she wanted four kids . I am not sure what she expected, did she expect it was going to be easy?. I wonder what she visualized, in fact I think the word “if” comes to mind,

Sarah and I fought over having a forth child. In fact my ideal would have been 2 kids, a boy and a girl, the fact we had three was only because the first 2 were both boys. In the end I only agreed to a forth child because I put myself in Sarah’s position and wondered, although I am not sure I still would have wanted a forth even if they were all girls.

Logistically there is a huge jump from having 3 kids to having four kids. Suddenly you can’t all fit in a normal sedan car, you have to have a people mover. Suddenly the house was too small so we had to renovate and also and the thing that probably grates sarah the most is that it makes it incredibly hard to travel. NOONE anywhere in the world caters for a family of six. Family of four yes, 5 at a stretch, but 6?? It means you have to get two hotel rooms every where, it basically ends up doubling the cost of accommodation, not to mention the incremental cost of having a forth child.

Anyways, following our conversation, I guess there was a still a submissive part of me working, because it physically HURT me to hear Sarah so upset, yet I felt so helpless to do anything, one thing that Sarah kept saying over and over is that there is no end to it. She kept saying if she could see an end to it she could cope but she can’t. Fact is there is no end to it, fact is that as the kids get older we are going to get busier and busier, so I was feeling very distressed and depressed that I had absolutely no hope in ever having a happy Sarah.

Anyway I could not focus on work any more so I went out to try and rectify one of the things Sarah griped about, something that had been broken for a few weeks, but I had not been able to locate a spare part. Unfortunately I still failed, so I decided to go home and at least try and give Sarah some help for a few hours, even though its not a solution, it might help. I can’t do this very often because I would end up getting fired, and that would do neither of us any good!!, still I got home and Sarah was not there, so I went around and did some of the most pertinent tasks. Funny her friend came around and caught me red handed doing stuff in the garden…”that’s what I like to see” she says, well at least someone appreciates me.

Eventually Sarah did get home, and she behaved as if the previous conversation earlier in the day had never occurred. And we worked together for a while cleaning up. Even though she never said thank you I think she at least appreciated my help. I acknowledged her pain by telling her that I felt the same way and I was also aware that there was no end in site. I told her that I would do everything I could to help out, and left it at that. Trouble is I fear its still not enough. There are just not enough hours in the day and by 10PM when we are finally released from the children I don’t feel like working any more, I just want to kick back. I did end up yelling at the kids tho, in fact I really really got angry with them. Three of them had gotten into the bath and destroyed the bathroom with bubbles and water, there was a trail of cloths dumped in the hallway. I left them in no uncertain terms aware of what was expected of them when they got out of the bath, and when dad gets mad it makes mums temper look like a fresh breeze. They did clean up, in fact they did more than I expected them too. Trouble is they will have forgotten by today and there will be crap everywhere.

Domestic bliss

I think sarah is aware I am caged again tho, I rubbed her back to sleep for ages last night, then she woke me in the middle of the night, not intentionally but by her moving around, I think I was awake anyway because of nocturnal erection, so I rubbed her back again for ages, but when I turned to go to sleep, sarah ordered (not asked) me to keep going, and I complied for a very long time.

Later in the night I was woken by a painfully strong attempt at a full hardon, one of the advantages of wearing a cage is that you tend to remember your dreams because it is during dreaming you tend to get erect. I was glad I remembered this one, because I was dreaming I was giving Sarah oral sex. I can still taste her, no wonder I was so hard. To bad its only the stuff of dreams

Out and back in

That’s all for your support and advice, it has helped a lot.

As I said in my comments, Thursday night was a whole lot easier than Valentines night simply because I was not really expecting any kind of release. Of course I was hopeful. One is always ever hopeful of course that your wife will want to play. Alas Thursday night was not the night.

Friday morning started per usual and I really enjoyed our morning of close physical intimacy, although Sarah is not really big on talking, at least she allows me the pleasure of being close to her and feeling her so soft silken skin under my probing massaging fingers.

We do exchange some words of course, discuss what needs to be done, but it is unusual for it to turn towards our role play, or of course the “cage”. And I am sorry to say this morning was no different.

Friday evening was a busy one, with a really nice school function down at the beach, it was quite a social evening, and I consumed only a few beers and Sarah actually matched me with 2 wines (one more than usual for her!!). On the way home we droped my eldest at a local youth group run by a local Church, even though I am not the slightest bit religious I think it is good for my kids to be exposed to the basic good tenants Christianity has to offer.

Since my eldest needs to be picked up at 9.30 PM then it pretty much meant the rest of the night had to be drink free, so I was kind of missing sipping on a glass of red, so I took the dog for a long walk while our other children watched ice age for the 10 millionth time.

Finally bed time, of course I was hopeful again, but in reality I was not really expecting, and I KNOW I should NOT expect anything, let me put it this way I thought that Saturday was more probable.

Hence when the light went off, I asked for a cuddle, nothing more and Sarah turned to me and said “I thought you might be after these tonight” as she offered me the keys.

Well, I bet you can imagine my excitement, then she tempered me a bit when she told me she thought she might be getting her period early so she thought she had better let me free. I asked her if she wanted the keys back because I said the whole idea of this was for her not to feel pressured, she said, no, “fairs fair”. Not ideal but good enough for me to slip the key in the lock, and feel the relief as the catch sprung up, even though its still trapped, its still a great feeling.

So here is the critical point, I then offered the keys back to Sarah, and she took them without hesitation, no pause at all. So I guess that’s a pretty good indication of what her expectations are.

So off I went, first to my office to remove the cage, which takes a bit of doing given I use the KSD device to enhance the security and then for a wash before returning to bed. It’s a hassle but one really must wash after being inside a plastic cage for 9 nights.

On returning to bed, Sarah , wow, Sarah just blew me away. I am so blessed (although sometimes I wish I had of married a less attractive woman..lol) to have such a pretty wife, Sarah is very petite, naturally blond with blue eyes, what a cliché , she looks about 10 years younger than she is.

Normally Sarah does her best to cover herself up, I am not really permitted to see her naked, although sometimes I have to go and ask her something while she is in the shower, this is definitely frowned upon. Sarah feels that “I don’t need any encouragement” and hence any sexy panties or anything like that end up being left in the bottom of her draw only to end up on someones flee market stall.

Imagine my response when Sarah welcomed me back to bed with open, inviting legs and she actually pulled me on top of her. I nearly blew then and there. I actually had to tell her to stop because I felt I should put a condom on. I always wear a condom following a cage session out of respect and a fear that I don’t really know what bacteria has been accumulating down there following more than a week of enclosure, even though I have thoroughly washed myself. Of course the other reason for wearing a condom is that I am so sensitive that it really would not take much to push me over the edge. A condom helps me control my orgasm, but only just.

Needless to say what followed was extremely hot, and I must admit I did not ask for permission to cum, I simply could not contain myself once I felt Sarah pass her point of no return. I was completely overwhelmed by the strength of my climax. Probably was the strongest I had had in my memory and I just could not believe how long it lasted, the waves just kept coming. I never thought I was going to die but you get the idea!!!

We lay together for some time before we separated and I thanked Sarah and told her that it was verrrry nice, and Sarah actually told me that it was also really nice for her. This is also very unusual for Sarah to make an admission like that. Clearly there is something too this. I then tried to massage Sarah to sleep but of course I kept dropping off to sleep, I tried so hard to stay awake, and I did massage her back for a good half hour before sarah announced she wanted to watch TV for a while. So sleep I did.

It was a nice change not being woken in the night by the cage, and in the morning, the morning glory was in full swing. Not for long I thought, as I had made a mental commitment that I must put the cage back on at least before bed that night.

In the shower I was examining my shaft for signs of injury, and unfortunately on the base the KSD has made some minor pressure wounds. I needed to rub some vitamin E oil to help the healing process. The wound was not significant, not compared to some I have had before I modified the KSD. Whatever I was able to reminisce in the shower about the night before, I know I shouldn’t, but Sarah has never indicated that’s he minds if I help myself like that so I did, actually a few times on Saturday. This btw in no way would hinder the healing process.

Saturday night came, and I examined myself again, much better but I really felt that I needed another night to heal properly. I did not want to discuss this with Sarah, if she knew it was doing me any kind of injury then she would not play, so I decided to act as if I was caged at least for Saturday night. I am fairly sure I actually injured it on the first night, which was by far the worst night for hardons, and the small raw bit has been a bit of annoyance all week.

Sunday came and Sarah announced that her period had started, way earlier than normal, weird, well I guess a girl always knows. Of course this threw me into a bit of a spin given Sarah had told me previously she did not like me wearing while she had her period. Not sure why, but I could not help wondering if I should put it on or not, but given my act the previous night….

Sunday night came and I had really run out of excuses, my shaft had healed almost completely and I decided that if Sarah did not want me wearing it then all she needed to do is give me the key. The fact that she had taken it I felt meant I should put it on as soon as possible.

Hence Sunday night ended my reign of freedom, and a few days of rampant self satisfying which would have continued had I still been free today.

Fact is after only 2 days freedom, last night was way way easier than the first night after a long break. I know things are good in there today, its very comfortable and comforting back inside.

Even after 2 days of freedom I felt my subspace mindset slipping, although subspace becomes a habit, it takes a few days for the asshole in me to resurface. Locked back in maintains the feeling of love and affection and devotion even though Sarah is effectively out of commission. Sarah deserves better to be sure. Locked back in after 2 days means my body does not have to get reused to being caged, and believe me that is a good thing.

One thing of note, Although I will openly admit I self pleasure way too much. I would like to say I have experimented with chastity with no device. Those of you who are in a FLR who simply abstain, I can’t begin to describe the difference between wearing a cage and simply abstaining from self pleasure. Wearing a cage amps up the feelings a whole lot more because it makes you horny all the time. At the same time it lessens the pressure knowing you can’t, and it allows one to totally focus on she who is most important to you, and also serves as a constant reminder, a constant hand on your shaft, who controls when you get to release. I am not sure if much has been made of this or not, but I find wearing the cage during the day extremely pleasurable, it feels really nice.

The other day I was driving along in the car and I discovered by rocking backwards and forwards it actually felt like I was fucking, this was all good until I started to swell and the action stopped, impossible to cum, yet keeping one constantly horny, and in CHASE mode.

Chase mode being a male response to the woman they love, chase mode = courtship mode and hence really nice, will do anything for Sarah mode, asshole mode usually comes when you realize your not going to get any so one masturbates and then spends most of their life resenting the woman they love. I think the cage really enhances the chase concept as compared to simply abstaining because I did not find that I was in a constant horny state. Of course when I caught a glimpse of Sarah’s flesh after a week of abstaining then yep, I was there, but it was not a constant can’t stop thinking about her which the cage seems to instigate. The interesting thing is that one can remain in chase mode for exceptionally long periods of time. Save Valentines night where I did have a fit of frustration, I managed to stay in chase mode for 9 straight days, and apart from a tapering off on Sunday due to my extra curricular activities, I am back in chase mode now.

This morning I gave Sarah a long and sensual backrub but I did not let my cage contact her as sometimes she allows me to do, so its possible she does not know I have put it back on, still on leaving for work I gave her a nice hug and I am pretty sure she would have felt it. I expect Sarah will act as if she doesn’t know, and then will act surprised when she finds out later in the week….

We will see

Valentinesex NOT

I have to admit, last night was horrible. I had high hopes for last night. I felt certain Sarah would let me out for some play. In fact I even did not really do my normal preparation for bedtime because I thought it would be coming off.

The evening went normal enough, and I did normal things. Sarah even seemed in a good mood, although she did say she was tired a bit later on in the evening.

I was really pumped up ready for bed, in anticipation I was pressing against the end of the cage. I went in to see Sarah with her night chocolate half expecting to thee the keys waiting for me. Alas they did not appear.

I really felt anxious. Was it wrong of me to think that I would be let out on Valentines day?? Even in a wife led marriage one would think there should at least be something spoken. It had been 6 nights near a week and the internal pressure was enormous.

Somehow I managed to hold my tongue and climb into bed with Sarah unobvious. And then she suddenly switched off the light, much earlier than usual, I thought well that’s a good sign and rubbed her back for about half an hour, after which time I was pretty as hard as I can get within the cage, and still Sarah said nothing. I thought she was teasing me. In fact I thought she was probably waiting for me to ask, she seems to get some joy out of pushing me until I ask. I guess its all part of the game but I really hate asking because then I feel I am putting pressure on her, so last night I just stayed quiet.

Eventually I wished her happy valentines day and I asked her if she wanted to go off to sleep, to which she replies yes, and my heart sank and all sorts of emotions exploded through me, resentment, even anger. I felt I deserved sex that night. I felt I had earnt it. I felt that Sarah owed it to me after a week of morning and night time massages and a week of emotional investment.

Still I kissed her and rolled over and tried to sleep. Sleep was basically impossible, my insides were wound up as tight as a tennis racket string. I tried to hide is and succeeded, Sarah I think had gone to sleep. I was left hanging, completely frustrated. I do not know how other men can handle being completely frustrated like that but then again there is a huge difference between say being edged and left frustrated and being ignored and frustrated. I am pretty sure if Sarah had even acknowledged that I was bursting at the seems and told me that she was just tooo tired, even if she teased me obviously and she was DOING it to me to wind me up that would even be OK because it would be sexual attention. But to be ignored and left hanging was seemingly intolerable.

Eventually I did sleep, but then I woke only one hour later, still frustrated and unable to get back to sleep, It was not even due to a night time erection. Anyways I decided it would be a good opportunity to get up and do my preparation for the rest of the night. On returning to bed I still was unable to sleep and loose these thoughts of resentment, I rolled over quietly and nearly onto to Sarah because she had moved over to closer to me than I realized and I accidentally touched her hand. She actually asked me what I was doing so I just simply told her I couldn’t sleep. I still managed to refrain from putting pressure on her. Or even opening a dialogue about it.

Mercifully eventually I did fall asleep as I wondered how I would deal with these emotions if they continued tomorrow. If I betrayed myself then I know it will be the end of any cage play forever. I wondered if I am cut out for this. Should I just drop it and go back to normal.

Morning came and I did get woken by mr woody, actually it was a nice wakening, not painful, it actually felt nice. Its really cool those ones, not a supper rockon because those ones usually border on painful, but more of a super firmon. So I had time to think. I decided to ask Sarah if she would mind at least acknowledging me when she knew I was bursting at the seams so to speak, as this would help me at least know that I can go to sleep. Part of the reason why I could not sleep was because every time she moved I thought the was going to give me the key. If I knew it wasn’t going to happen perhaps I could have gone to sleep better.

We did end up having a fairly intimate morning with back rubs and cuddles which was nice. I feel better now, and in hindsite I am SOOOO glad I controlled myself. Sarah accepted my suggestion although did not make any commitments about when it may come off.

Sarah was tired last night, pure and simple and I need to respect that.

Writing this here helps with the inner turmoil I feel and I recognize that Sarah is still far better at determining when I should be released regardless of the day be it valentines day or any other occasion. Sarah will let me out when SHE is ready and not before, and I should thank her for this. Imagine I had of coerced her, and I know she would have allowed me if I had of, certainly if I had not been wearing the cage last night I would have attempted sex for sure, and Sarah would have “let” me for sure.

But the sex given she was tired would have been crap. And that would have been even worse that not sleeping last night because the whole week would have been wasted, and the emotional damage to us both could make future play improbable.

I do wonder though if it is Ok for me to ask Sarah to acknowledge me, I can’t handle just being ignored like that. I know she was trying to get to sleep which is why we do not speak then, but I far prefer to know its not going to happen then to wonder if its going to happen. I should just assume no and that should be enough, but a little bit of sexual attention, a intimate hug and a statement to be told “its not coming off tonight darling because I am just too tired” would not kill her? Does a man in a wife led marriage deserve that? Is it wrong to expect that? Sarah would know I would be peaking last night, whereas the last 6 nights I have had things well under control. I guess I knew valentines day was coming and inside I thought it was a sure bet.

How wrong was I.

I know Sarah will give me the privilege of making love to her in the next few days, and then it will be that time in her cycle within 4-6 days of that. My challenge now is what to do the following night. Do I put it back on again? I will offer her the keys, I always give them straight back to her after unlocking my lock, and she is pretty good at hiding them these days but it is still up to me to lock it back on. If she hides them I guess I will be obligated, or should I give it another break. I can’t ask her, yet she has indicated previously that she does not really like me wearing it when she has her period, don’t really understand that one. Perhaps she feels pressure to let me out as soon as her period has finished??

Not a perfect story by any stretch, there are certainly still challenges. Last night really did suck but I have really loved the other 6 nights and mornings. I have really loved feeling closer to Sarah, the touch of her skin and no pressure to ask for sex. I also love the feelings of devotion it elicits, the adoration it creates, it makes Sarah look 10 years younger, even though she looks great anyway!! Its certainly not all bad for her or for me, otherwise we would not play at all.

BTW I am getting paranoid about my lack of commentators, I know I ramble and crap on but surely someone can throw some mud on me.

P.S. Blogger very slow I guess its still Valentines day in lots of other parts of the world, Hope you all have better luck than moi :)