Thursday, September 24, 2009

Been far too busy

Starting up a business sure eats into your time, and blogging unfortunately is one of the casualties of this exercise.

Also there seems to be a plethora of blogs now dedicated to orgasm control and chastity with very prolific writers and their followers, not that it’s a competition or a pissing contest but what I have to say just can’t compare to the participation and the depth of these other bloggers and to the extent their wives play along.

Also I think I lost a few people when I tried to reduce my ridiculous sex drive by trying different drugs, I guess I am a bit out there, still the remains a struggle, certainly not a new one though and my overtly large sex drive remains a problem for Sarah given hers is completely my sex drive inverted.

Still I find it funny though that even though I have not updated this blog for a long time, it still seems to rank quite highly in the google searches, maybe I could put some links to by business in here….ummm….not!!!....although I have pretty much come clean with Sarah now on all of my activities pertaining to reducing my sex drive….I think she still would rather my two orbs be removed completely…

We took a long break from the chastity cage, Sarah did not see the point since she feels that she has to let me out every 3-4 days even if its to let me relieve myself, and she stated point blank that she would rather never let me out of it. I don’t really understand this notion that developed of hers that she has to let me out every 3 days or so, I think it possibly comes from guilt of keeping me locked up. It is funny she always seems to give up on cage play just when I feel like I am falling into a rhythm of good submissive husband mindset, and when I think she is developing a taste for control (see previous post)

In any case a few weeks ago after I had been pestering her for sex for a few days on end, as you do when your wife says no, she told me to put the cage back on in no uncertain terms, and so here I sit caged again.

This time though having read all of the other blogs around the place, I pretty much know we are doomed to fail in this mindset, Sarah just can’t bring her self to be interested in tease and denial, or even this female led dynamic, it simply takes too much effort on her part, and she is not prepared to entertain it. So for those of you that do have a wife that are prepared to invest their time and THOUGHT towards this dynamic just remember there are those of us would be sub husbands that completely and totally envy your situation.

The other issue we have is that Sarah really does lack libido, she is simply not interested in having orgasms on a semi regular basis, in fact I think she would quite happily be orgasmless for months on end, she calls it a chore, it again takes too much effort.

And so this is the reason why chastity for us is most probably set to fail, it is a celibacy device rather than a chastity/tease and denial device. This is how Sarah sees it, and uses it as a way of gaining peace from my relentless cock. While initially this was exciting in itself, now it has become somewhat of a bore.
Its been clear to me for a long time I have a desire to submit sexual control to Sarah, but submission in itself is not enough, there also has to be control. This seems to be a common thread in all D & S scenarios. With Sarah , I actually think she likes the control, but she just can’t be bothered. It also becomes an effort for me as well, because although I feel all the subby feelings, and make an extraordinary effort to serve Sarah, backrubs, hot milks, wanting to be with her, offering to meet for coffees, much of these things she gets while I am not caged but, certainly I put in 110%, but what I find is that it does not make one little tiny bit of difference how much effort I put in and how much I really do adore and worship her as a woman, I am still sleeping next to what may as well be a sack filled with sand….a very beautiful sack of sand but as responsive as a sack of sand, one that finds it an effort to even talk about this dynamic, or its associated bits.

Fear is the mind killer, no…fear is not the mind killer, fear at least is exciting.

Indifference is the mind killer.

4 comments:

subguyinAtl said...

I live in basically the same place you do, except my wife Kelly also finds any discussion of my submission, or any outward sign of it, to be painfully annoying. Submission is like a gift... there is no intimacy if the gift is never accepted. It's like wrapping packages and throwing them in the trash. The gift has to be accepted in the manner in which it is offered.

cagedone said...

Hi there, thanks for your comment

One thing I found out very quickly is that one aspect of the stereotypical submissive character that Sarah did not like is the mushy cuddle kind of submission. Wearing a chastity cage for a length of period does tend to bring out that part of you, and it does make one more "needy", which then again puts more pressure on the wife.

Sarah let me free the other night, and promptly took and hide the keys from me the following day....and it was good!!

its a rollercoaster....I still do not have any real hopes for sustainability, or Sarah suddenly embracing orgasm denial rituals.

Still in the spectrum of things, I guess there are those out there whose wives total reject anything other than normality, I guess I am lucky that Sarah at least has a bit of a spark...

Unknown said...

i've had quite a lot of success with "The new brides guide to training her husband". It convinced my dom that tease and denial would get her what she wanted. She is very vanilla, but the book turned her around. It has amazed me that so many things i had asked for with no success, now she hands out frequently. She uses authority and throws out teases at random.

subgaydenial said...

dear cagedone,

my name is joshua. i am gay but i also enjoy cb6000 chastity. have some problems wearing it now.. especially the ring breaks after 1 month or so.. :( i had to buy cb6000 3x so far. really waste of money snce i only need the ring. i use number 3 or sometimes 4. wondering if we can have a chat? I need to know how to make a KSD? I use KSD but nothings fits my penis :( Help please?