CB6000 and review

I don’t have a lot to update on the wife led aspect of my marriage, increasingly I am convinced in many respects that the status quo needs to remain as it is. If Sarah were left to make all the decisions then nothing would ever get done period.

That said she is still my queen, her happiness is what I strive for, even if it means that I have to lead a lot of the time.

Our house project is finally coming to a close, Sarah was completely against it from the start, and I ended up having to use those fateful and risk filled words “I can’t paint you a picture so your just going to have to trust me” those are fighting words. The fact is that although we ended up running about 20% over budget (which is a shit load of money when you spend what we spent) it has turned out brilliantly, even better than I imagined. And Sarah, although a blatant admission is never going to be forthcoming the invitations are flowing forth and she is certainly not shy in showing people around. She loves it.

The last time I updated this blog I was determined to do a 3 month stint in the cage with Sarah strictly in control of my masturbation habit. Well as you probably guess because I have not updated this blog for so long it fell in a heap, and I have gone back to my usual habits. Our sex life has improved though a bit since the house project has finished…possibly moving from 2 decent sessions per month to perhaps 3-4/month..which is not insignificant. Sarah seems to be happier than usual which is a good thing.

I am still thinking about chastity though and I still self satisfy way too much, what killed it last time was Sarah refused to put the keys away, she just left them on the bed side table, and when I prompted her she told me she did not like me wearing it when she had her period. I don’t really get that, unless clearly she still only views the cage as sexual avoidance, she does not seem to give a rats bum how much I flog myself which seems to take the attraction away from wearing it. I think orgasm control is where the attraction is to me since per the above Sarah having control of the rest of family life does not really work, that said Sarah is still very much on a pedestal and I will do anything to please her, simply Sarah making decisions or being the dominant figure in the household does not please her.

Anyway I decided to buy a CB6000, what really attracted me to it is someone said the tube was slightly narrower which means that there is no need to use a KSD, which would be a big plus if this were true. We are not tight on money although now that I have it I am not sure if it was money well spent. We are not finished with chastity play I am sure, so the CB3K tube was looking pretty grubby and used/stained so I spose I would have had to buy a new one anyways.

For those who are interested here is what I think of the CB6000

1. The new ring system is a pain in the ass especially if you have pubic hair. Getting the ring system on is not complicated but keeping your hair out of the ring system while putting it on IS complicated.

2. The new post are oval shaped which prevents the lock from turning around, while this feature IS good, it means using a stainless steal pin is no longer an option.

3. The tube is narrower than a CB3K and it does help keep things in place but after wearing it for a day, after bending over I found that I all but popped out the back of the device. When you first out it on you tend to think wow, I won’t be able to get out of this, but sure enough as you wear it and your skin sweats and self lubricates then you can get out of it easy enough, although it IS more secure than the CB3K without a KSD.

4. I would not say the new rings are any more comfortable than the solid rings, the only advantage is that they are flatter across the top which gives you less finger room to facilitate pulling out the back. But even with the second smallest ring which I can only tolerate during the daytime barely I was still able to pull out. I tried to put the number 3 ring on already pre assembled as I would a solid ring (to avoid the hair pinching) and I was not able to get my balls through because the flat part at the top actually makes the dimension too small. I think I could if I persevered but it would probably end up hurting, so the ability to open the ring is a plus in that case even if it is a pain in the arse. Wearing the device with the number 3 ring is comfortable along with the second smallest spacer which I guess according to millars means I am mr average.

5. I would say that the CB6K is slightly but only slightly more comfortable during nigh time arousal.

6. The side vents are a big plus for the CB6K and I did not really find any problem flushing the CB with water during washing using the side vents

So in conclusion I would say that the CB3K WITH the KSD is probably a bit more secure and probably a little less comfortable at night. The side vents are a big bonus but not one I would rush out and spend 250 bux AUD on in a hurry.

I then started thinking that putting a KSD in the 6K would be interesting because even if there is not that much difference in the device, having the side vents and the narrower tube in combo with the KSD might be a good thing so I set about modifying one of the KSDs I had. Here are some pictures of what I was able to do.

Basically I used a small angle grinder to sand around the outside of the KSD to reduce its diameter so it would fit inside the CB6K tube, then because the lip in the 6K is smaller than the 3K I had to make the KSD narrower over all. I then beveled the edges with sand paper and splayed the exit because of my past experience with KSD doing an injury to my shaft during night time arousal. I also had to extend the hole at the top so the guide pin could go through. As you can see I succeeded in fiting the KSD into the CB6K.

Wearing it was very comfortable during the day, and actually surprisingly secure, the thicker ring and the flat top in combination with the KSD made escape almost impossible. I say almost because I only wore it for 24 hours, enough for some sweating to occur but not compared to several days wear. Night time arousals were significantly better because the KSD gives an additional 5mm of length to the tube and when you consider the 6K is about 5 mm longer than the 3K then a extra 10mm over all is significant.

The problem was that I used a older smaller KSD to modify for the CB6K, I did not want to kill my KSD that I had made comfortable for the CB3k, the morning after wearing over night I checked for injury and unfortunately the pressure from the nighttime arousal had resulted in damage to the underside of my shaft, which means I can’t try it again for a few days. I am however encouraged and have decided to modify my CB3K KSD, although I am certain that the security will be slightly compromised. What is most important is spread the pressure, so you have to make sure that there are no lips especially where the bottom of the lip meets the inside of the cage. You must make sure that you sand back the thickness of the KSD so that it is almost flush with the tube and that you tapper down the edge. What surprised me is that this time the injury occurred both on the entry and exit of the KSD sides, which tells me that the KSD I was using was simply too small…I am definitely a grower.

Once I get the new KSD working properly I will offer the keys to Sarah once again. I have little down she will take them, wether or not she decides to keep them while she has her period is up to her. I have a sneaking suspicion though that she will though. I have not talked to her about caging for about 6 weeks and I think she actually misses it.

I am also considering a libido reducing drug which can easily be sort on the net without a prescription and try very low dose, been reading a lot about that recently and know what the risks are, not that I want to castrate myself but I would like to have a bit more control over myself, and possibly reduce wake up calls while wearing the cage..eh eh…and apparently some of my hair might even grow back. My main concern is that my sex drive must have a large contribution of who I am and is the engine that drives much of what I do. If its shut down completely then depression could be a real risk, so I would not want to do that, but lack of sex/sexual imbalance is also depressing. If it were possible to dial it back just a bit and get in the same region as Sarah then life might be a whole lot more harmonious.

updated

It was another 3 days before Sarah eventually released me. I can't say it was particularly good release, but it was a release. I had intended to ask Sarah for permission to cum but when I felt her climax I was unable to contain myself. I did my best to hold back but all i managed to do was to stop myself from ejaculating fluid (or much fluid as there is always some), but when I checked the condom in the morning there was very little if anything in it. I guess I managed a ruined orgasm for myself which was deserved since I was not able to control myself.

Sarah did not turn the TV back on and promptly fell asleep which meant I was able to sleep the night without the cage on for the first time in 10 days and in the morning we had another chat, which was nice, although I was in trouble for something I had said the day before.She told me she did not care that I came without her permission....I wish she did care.

I asked Sarah if it would be OK if I cleared my pipes properly during my shower to which she gave me permission, again she does not really care what I do with myself...

I must admit it was surely satisfying to see the gobs of cum come out in torrents, I was a little worried because of the lack of fluid in the condom from the night before...so at least I knew there were no blockages. It was also a bit fortunitate that I was given the night out of the cage because there was a small wound on the underside from the KSD, nothing serious, but enough I decided to leave it off for the rest of the day and rub some vitamin E oil into it. By the end of the day it has subsided to just being a bit red.

I managed to abstained from further self manipulation all day and reapplied the cage prior to bed and so I have not had a orgasm without Sarah's knowledge since my commitment began.

These next few days will again be a challenge, I am coming up to my thirds day after my release and I can feel the pressure building again, and I know Sarah will be expecting her period in 5 or so days time. Sarah always feels pressured to release me prior to her period...and I also feel the most pressure to ask as well because I know that once started its going to be at least a week ON TOP of what I have already been locked for. I always start out determined this is OK but after 3-4 days in I start feeling stressed.

Sarah HAS been sleeping MUCH better though so I must keep this up. I intend to tell Sarah that I have no expectation of release before her period so as to alleviate any pressure she might feel, Of course there is a cavete....unless she wants too which regrettably is unlikely.

I will tell her that I will tell her if the pressure becomes too much for me and I may ask her for a "30 second handjob" which means basically I am to make my self ready without disturbing her while she watches TV....and roll on a condom as to not make any mess. I will bring myself right to the edge of orgasm and keep myself there until a advertisement whereby I will tell Sarah and she will give me 30 seconds of her time to take me over the edge, after which I will go and put the cage back on. Sarah has kind of agreed to this although I have yet to see if she will do it. But at least it offers some release without hardly any inconvenience and hence guilt on my part for asking her to go out of her way too much. After all if I do it right she will probably only have to barely touch it. Hopefully through doing this maybe she will learn to tease and deny which might make things a bit more interesting. I know I want it I am just not sure if I can handle it...I hope Sarah's PMT is not bad this month, when she starts going ballistic for no real good reason it makes it a whole lot harder to feel like this is worthwhile.

Stuck between a rock and a hard place.

Still I am hoping that by Sarah REALLY controlling every orgasm I learn to go longer inbetween and offering Sarah a chance to sleep and trust me, to feel comfortable with me hence become closer, maybe ultimately Sarah will want to engage with me more with sexual attention...be it intercourse or any other form of intimate play. I miss orgasms a lot, today I had lunch with a woman who is the friend of a work colleague, as I parked my car I thought about having some thoughts about her and felt myself fill up my cage, and then I realized that thats all it would be is a thought.

Jez I ramble

Coming clean

After lying awake most of last night I came to the conclusion that I had to have a talk with Sarah about things. We do not ever communicate much on a intimate level so what I wanted to say to Sarah was fairly challenging.

So I bit the bullet, and Bud, you can't say I wasn't listening to you!!

I can't really remember the order of the conversation because I am just so tired today, but I think I started by asking how she slept, she slept fine of course, I was honest with her and told her I had barely slept a wink. I followed this conversation by asking her how she though the last week had gone, and she answered very positively,I then went on to comment that we never really have many intimate conversations, and that I had something really personal to tell her.

"oh?"
"well you know how I have a reallllly high sex drive"
alarm bells ringing omg he is going to tell me he is having/had an affair
"yes??"
quickly "well its nothing like i am having sex with anyone else or anything"
"but, well an average guy will bring himself off about once per day, well I kind of have a bit of a problem, I do it about 5 times per day"
"WHAT???" jaw drops out of head, shocked silence
"so I have decided that I will keep wearing the device for the next 3 months"
"hmmm Ok well we will see how u go"

That is the essence of it all of course I told her I worshiped her as a woman, and that although I did it so much when we made love it was not even a tiny bit lessened by my extra curricular activities. The conversation lasted far longer than this and we worked through some other things

I even told her that last night I was so desperate because it had been over a week I had used a prostate massager on myself, so I really came clean about everything, I am stunned myself that I admitted this to my wife...lol

The upshot is Sarah has agreed to ration my orgasms for the next 3 months, i will wear the cage and she will decide when or if I get to orgasm. The cage will be reapplied straight after any release.

How we go from here is up to her.

On one hand I am shit scared, on the other hand I am glad I came clean and we actually HAD a intimate conversation, it is probably the most personal thing I have ever shared with Sarah in all the time we have been married. And today Sarah has been great, but I do wonder when my next release will be.

Thanks Bud...hmmm or not.

This can be so hard sometimes

Saturday night, well actually Sunday morning here in Aus, and well I can't sleep. Sarah and I have been getting on great but as yet there is no sign of her letting me loose. I really have to be carefull what to expect but the last two nights have been really hard. I have managed to keep my mouth shut and give her a back rub until she falls asleep...which is just the way it should be.

But the pressure is unbelievable.

Tonight Sarah at bed time seemed completely indifferent. Its almost as if she is pressuring me to ask her for a release. Maybe she is just testing me, its a test I am struggling to pass, and its only been a week.

So now its 2am on Sunday morning and I simply can't sleep because of a combination of 2 things, one is I don't understand why Sarah has not let me loose and the other is, well I am so full I am leaking!!

Today Sarah went out for most of the day and I spent most of the day cleaning the house, washing and ironing the kids cloths, I think I did a pretty good job as well, even Sarah's parents commented when they came around how tidy it looked. Did Sarah so much as thank me....she did not even acknowledge that I had done anything.

Well I have listened to my last commenter, and apparently I have been a chronic masturbator, lol, well its not like it was something I did not already know, but perhaps, well more than perhaps thats why I really seem to hit a wall at about 7 days with no orgasm, but I am determined to see this through, going cold turkey and totally relying on Sarah for release. I am determined not to ask for it, but I am not sure if she understands the enormous pressure I feel. it is interesting to note though, I know these feelings are largely in my mind, I have gone for 14 days before, but some of that was during Sarah's period, and while Sarah couldn't, the pressure was not nearly as great as once the green lights came back on.

Tonight I decided that if I was to sleep at all I had to relieve at least some of the pressure some way, so I ave managed to drain myself using the aneros, which is basically a prostate massaging tool.

I must admit it was incredibly stimulating I actually think I could cum with it in there just by clenching my muscles and not touching my cage at all. I was soooo close but I did not. So I am still orgasmless, and pleased as well as I would feel infinitely depressed if I did. I managed to get quite a lot of ejaculate from my body without any orgasm at all, so while I am waiting for my body to calm back down I am typing this.

So what gives with Sarah? I am frightened quite honestly that she won't let me out until I cave in and ask, which will mean the cage serves no purpose at all.

what a roller coaster ride.

It is times like this when the reality is not so hot as the fantasy, and yet in the back of my mind I hope she never lets me out, now thats weird.

What I do wish though is that she wasn't so indifferent. I could cope so much more if she acknowledged me, and she was doing it too me

Sorry this is a ramble, I do that a lot especially when I am tired.

i hope I can sleep now, I can feel a bit of relief, but quite honestly its the indifference which is killing me.

Some words of encouragement please....chin up cagedone...I must make sure I do not put her under any pressure....I must

I wonder how other people cope when they feel like this??

Back on 24/7

Thanks for your comment whatever she says, I am fairly certain I did acknowledge I knew what I should have done, also I have said previously that I am far from the perfect submissive. In fact I am not even sure if I am, some concoction of everything I expect, as everyone is to some degree.

To drill down on that particular incident, I will only say this, if there had of been some kind of engagement, some aspect of teasing, some aspect of FUN to what she suggested at the time then I would not have even issued a complaint. I don’t think it is a matter of confusion, Sarah is simply not really interested in tease and denial.

That said what she DOES like is lying in bed at night and demanding a massage knowing that I am not able to initiate sex, and now I have enough control over myself nor do I ask for it, it really does seem to help her relax and she does seem a happier person in general.

Unfortunately this does not form the ideal imagery often bespoken of people playing with chastity where their hot wives tease the crap out them, ie pay them lots of sexual attention which serves as a substitute for sex. Sarah regrettably is simply not interested in my offering her sexual pleasure while I get none, Sarah does not have a high libido, in fact quite the opposite. This means that while I give her endless massages and lots of extra affection I have to be solaced with my perception of her increased happiness, not exactly a tangible thing because I am not sure if it is because I am looking at her with different eyes. I am lucky if I get a reciprocated hug, and I have to ask for that.

This does make it hard to travel the journey of chastity. Like us all I am learning by having approached my wife on the submissive foot, I am not even sure any more that a submissive man is what she wants.

I would go further to say that I am pretty sure she doesn’t want a submissive man although I will always be at her mercy from a sexual point of view but from a day to day point of view our life requires that I make decisions for Sarah, Although I worship her as a woman, there are things that I have to take control over, even if sometimes it results in some conflict

This certainly does not fit into the submissive mould, but I am me.

Then there IS the sex aspect, although Sarah does like cage play, and I have always since I met her tried to ensure she climaxed before I did, sometimes Sarah likes to be fucked, and done by a dominant man, sometimes she even likes it where it doesn’t quite fit, and it hurts so good, hardly a dominant position during sex for her. But that is fine with me, I will do and will climb mountains to find what “works” for Sarah.

So given the last few weeks we have not been really getting on very well and sex has been crap and I have decided to cage up again, although I suggested it to Sarah and this time she agreed that “it might give her a break”. What she means by this is that she agrees because in reality I do not really hassel her for sex more than once a week, though I am sure she perceives that it is far more often, I think she is talking about the pressure for sex.

Sarah has not even being masturbating much recently, from my previous posts I know roughly when she does by observation, for example when the KY tube changes shape AND the pink vibrator has moved, it’s a fair indication. It actually been quite some time since I have been able to confirm her self gratification which may reflect her general mood. Lately its only been about once a month and if I compare that to me which is more like 4-5 times a day that makes Sarah essentially orgasm less. Yet this cycle, and admittedly I tend to check more often when I am caged, but she has self gratified twice in two weeks, although I have only been locked for one of those weeks. On one hand I am happy for her that she might be feeling happier, on the other hand I feel resentful, I can’t help asking myself, why doesn’t she want ME?? I can’t help wondering if the second session she had was because I locked up.

A few nights ago we were actually having a bit of a chat and I offered to Sarah that I probably should give her a long session of back rubs and woman worship, and that this time I thought that when she does eventually decide to reward me that I should put the cage back on with no delay. Sometimes after we do make love Sarah can’t sleep and turns the TV back on for a while, so I suggested to her that I go and wash up and put the cage back on while she is watching her tv show. Sarah more or less agreed to this by saying “if you want to” to which I told her that “she was worth it”. So people it does appear that I am in for quite a session this time, Sarah simply by turning on the TV following a release will be a signal for me to go and recage. I hope I can handle it. Of I will go and put the cage back on alright, but the night after sex I ALWAYS have a hardon just about all night, that’s not going to be a comfortable night L

I know that previous extended lock ups with releases I have had at least 24 hour hours of freedom with which I probably managed to cum 10-15 times, trying desperately to make up for all those orgasms I missed out on I guess before putting the cage back on the following night. Even with that program I noticed that my libido fell, not significantly but it definitely fell after 5-6 weeks or so. So with this program I am about to embark on I will only have one orgasm with Sarah assuming she lets me have one, though she almost certainly will. It will be interesting to see if I can get used to being orgasmless myself. This means that say on average (not recently) Sarah orgasms 3 times a month with me and twice by herself, that makes 5 orgasms per month for her and 3 for me. Compare that to what I am used to, say 4 per day. That means I am cutting back from 120 orgasms per month to 3. That’s scarey.

What is also scarey is that the building work still continues and it is dragging on, so maybe I will be lucky if I get 3.

What I have in the back of my mind though is that maybe this is a good idea, maybe I can force my sex drive to become equivalent to hers, maybe we will be happier for it apart from the DSM stuff that really is a extension of my kinky libido.

Sure I still dream of Sarah pushing my head down between her thighs while I am locked up. I really wish she would do that or even let me do it just once, but I don’t think she will. But perhaps at the end of the day what matters is that we are happy.

The imbalance in our sex drives has been causing friction since before we were even married. Maybe this is a way of reaching a end to that friction. I just hope I can make it through, this first week has been tough to maintain a completely happy exterior especially following Sarah’s self satisfying session (ssss in the future), truth is it is very very tough. Sarah will release me this week end, I am not sure which night but she will, and I will put the cage straight back on following. I do know that there are many many men who can go longer than me being orgasmless but I down there are many that go from 120+(and I enjoy EVERY ONE!!) to 3 lol. I have to beat Diggers record tho of consecutive days lockup. If I keep this straight back on deal then it will probably reach that over Sarah’s next period.

Hopefully the second week will be easier.

Just a side note, very sad to see Helpmate blog go on invite only, that was one of my regular reads, I wonder what happened there?

Oh yes the CB6000 is released, not that impressed really and I think I will stick to my 3K, I do not see any advantage in it. I posted this in the CB3k yahoo group:

don't think I will go rushing out and buying one although the ring
system may be more comfortable. ....so are the solid rings for the CB3K.

There are two main things I would have done differently and maybe some
other suggestions for the manufacturer.

1. rather than just move the vent holes to the side I would have
simply halved their size and make more of them, so instead of three
openings at the top make say 9 openings but make the holes small
enough that the skin can't BULGE through during a woody, yet large
enough that you can still flush water through. Puting th slots at the
side is an improvement for sure because pinching your skin between the
lock and the cage is no fun at all, but apart from that the red marks
and eventual injury from the sheer volume and pressure of skin poking
through is still going to be problematic with the side vents if they
are the same size as they were before (and they look to be). Puting a
bandaide over the holes before bed each night is a pain.

2. There is NO WAY I would have put that seem through the locking
hole. That has surely got to be a mistake.

3. I would have loved and still would love to see a clip on cyber skin
attachment/cover that simply goes over the top of the CB like a silken
glove...so when I spoon my wife I am not jabbing her with the sharp
end of the cage or worse the sharp bits of the lock (which I have
ground down)...I am only talking about a cover that would look more
like a mound than a locked penis...and spooning my wife she may even
like to rub herself on it....of course a larger mass of cyberskin may
turn into a fake penis but a simple cover would serve my needs and
enable me to cuddle my wife while wearing without fear of giving her a
injury. Wearing briefs is simply not the same thing, but it helps.

4. a receptacle or provision for a PA if this could be incorporated
without damaging the look of the device. although I am not pierced and
probably never will be, this would be a good feature.

5. Better form of anti pull out, this of course is the toughest

2 sugestions:

A make the tube thinner at the entry point, achieving a similar effect
to the KSD.

B Perhaps make some rings that are WIDER at the top than they are at
the bottom. This would be similar to wearing 2 rings which some people
have found to help security, I tried this but I found because the
bottom was also widened it became too uncomfortable. This would have
the effect of keeping the cage pointed down which would certainly keep
some mistresses happier.

6. availability of Stainless steel locking pins (for home use)

7. Availability of a small padlock that can't be picked in 30 micro
seconds.

Ok thats my wish list....maybe the CB10000

Asking for it.

Well what happened at the end of the last cage session? It has been some time ago now so I had better write it down before I forget all of the details completely. Life has been so busy lately, for those of you that are interested Sarah eventually produced the key after about 10 days or so…maybe 11, all I knew was I was really really aching for release. So I I went and washed myself and hoped back into bed…waiting for the instruction to rub her back, which came as no surprise….things progressed as one would expect and I decided I had better use a numbing condom because I wanted some control. After 10 days as once can appreciate it can be very difficult to contain yourself and even using a numbing condom it feels like your in contact with bare flesh.

In any case I had just rolled the condom onto my already throbbing shaft when Sarah said to me, “that’s enough, you can go put the cage back on now”, I mean what? Then she followed it by saying, see I did read it, and I can do that you know.

I was in a bit of a state of panic, this wasn’t how it was supposed to go, Sarah was supposed to TEASE me, not wait till I got all excited by myself, roll a condom on and then have to put the cage back on without any kind of play. That’s no fun I thought!!! I did not have time to think because I was completely surprised by what she had said…I admit I probably screwed up because rather than just get up and do as I was told…I said..but but…I just got the condom on..but if you really want me too I will……..anyways Sarah relented and what followed was a fairly intense session.

Afterwards however I received the instruction not to put the cage back on until she told me to.

Weird, of course since then the instruction has never come, so I have been cageless for some time. Although Sarah seems to hint at times and I wonder if I should just put it back on, well I go hot and cold as I have previously said on the cage idea, what seems like a hot idea when I am horny seems like a bad idea after release. If only Sarah would engage in the play a bit more. I am pretty sure it does something for her, even if it is a demonstration of what I would do to try and please her…even if it does not do anything to actually turn her on. I have yet to find that button and I wonder if it actually exists….actually the turn on button is a fallacy I think anyways. I am simply online all the time, the only time I have a respite is immediately after a orgasm, and that only lasts for 15-30 minutes before if time permits I would do it again till such time it fell off!!

But then again our life has just been so busy lately, and I have been lightyears away from being in a submissive mindset. In fact our life has turned around in the other direction if anything and because of some building works at home I have been forced to assert a dominance simply because our life requires it presently.

I am not altogether comfortable in my current mode, but when it comes to yard work and building modification it seems that Sarah (and it would seem many women) have extreme difficulty in visualizing what the end will look like, or understanding the practicality of some of their suggestions. They need a picture drawn, so they can form a visual representation. Unfortunately although I can visualize stuff really clearly in my mind, drawing is not my strong point

It has gotten to the point that whenever we try and discuss things we end up in a heated discussion, I loose patience and I think she really hates the fact that she can’t visualize what I am trying to achieve, by her own admission she just can’t see it, yet in my mind there is not many surprises. I may say that I may be lacking in my ability to transmit the image that I see in my mind, yet this is not the first time.

Men ARE visual creatures, and CAN visualize things in great detail, which is why engineering is probably balanced in terms of aptitude in men’s favour. I don’t think Sarah can understand that I do lie in bed at night visualizing exact dimensions of where this wall will go, where a drain should be, how much concrete needs to go there, where a gate should be, what angle a wall should be to optimize the special effect, where lights should go, whats going to look good and what isn’t. That’s why when I go shopping I already know what I need, what I want. I do not generally need to go into a bazillion showrooms to get ideas. I can’t imagine what it would be like to lack the ability to visualize, it must be a empty existence.

I wonder what does occupy her mental space then, is it streams of words/concepts of emotions?. Maybe pictures of people speaking to each other, facial expressions. Maybe women are just not good at picturing levels, or THINGS.

Maybe that’s why women like to shop so much….or even tend to be more prone to wanting to travel. For a man I can see what a place will be like before I even get there. It is not so important for me to actually GO THERE to experience it. I am not saying I don’t like going on holidays…I love it, but I get a lot of enjoyment from staying at home as well. I do not always have this compelling desire or the feeling of boredom with home that many women seem to have, and a hence a drive to the point of obsession with always planning the next holiday….or wanting to move about. I can go places in my mind, and sometimes when I get there I wish I hadn’t, my minds eye would have been best left alone!

Sarah hates the fact that I am running these projects, I try and incorporate her suggestions but sometimes in incorporating her suggestions the end result I fear will lack in its potential. Sometimes I have no choice but to piss her off, and just hope and pray when it gets to the end, and the image I see becomes real that she actually likes it. I am really doing this stuff to please her, and that’s really important to me…The stress and pressures I feel are not from the tradesmen, the cost, or the arguments with tradesmen, it is whether on not Sarah will like the end product at the end that stresses me the most.

The problem with landscaping and building modification is you can’t move stuff around and see if you like it, you have to get it right first time. Its not like a room where Sarah has me bailed up for hours shifting chairs and tables around to get the right combination in a room, which I find intensely annoying and a waste of time…alas I keep my mouth shut!!

So I can’t afford to be in a submissive mindset so cage play has really has all gone out the window as well as the wife led marriage, and this is probably why there is a lot of friction in our marriage right now. But I do think about the cage daily, it’s a great fantasy still , but presently the reality does not allow it. Of course if Sarah did ASK me to put it on I would, we did touch on it a month ago and I told her that I would be frightened she would never take it off for the duration of the project…lol…She kind of agreed I think.

I guess at the end I can look forward to delving into this lifestyle again, certainly if these roles we currently have continued we would end up divorced I think. It is not a natural position for me with respect to Sarah, I look forward to relinquishing the dominant role at the end of the works and re enter a generally submissive mindset with enthusiasm.

Not exactly what I wrote

Call me a bit crazy, well I am sure I am, no doubt I will cope some heat from you all for this but then I have always warned I am not the perfect sub, or a perfect person by any stretch, probably a bit confused ...I had to laugh as I wrote that. I have been way to busy just recently to update this blog, and right this minute I am feeling the most unsubmissive to my wife in living marital memory there are reasons for that and it will pass......but now lets jump back a few months.....

I gave this to Sarah a couple of months or so ago. It is actually a earlier version, as my hard drive went down and this was a back up copy. it is not nearly as refined as what I gave Sarah to read, for a bit of a chuckle. What I was hoping to achieve was see if I could pop some idea into her head with out the pressure of her knowing that much of this was actually my fantasy. The only way I could think of, of perhaps offering information to her without toping from the bottom....this will be along read. I will tell you what happened later...but I presented this to her while I was caged, and in a pretty submissive state. All I will tell you is that she did NOT tell me I was a sick man....actually she told my son the next day...and he told me what she said (which really made me feel good about myself) that she thought that I was a really nice man...

Anyway here is is...:

Its took me about a year to completely accept the device that Geoff now wears between his legs. While I liked the effects it seemed to have on him I could not fathom why wearing such a thing would have such a bearing on his behavior. Not only that but I thought it was kind of weird and I felt like I was being cruel. I was worried that one day I might be made out to be some torturous bitch who enslaved her husband even if it was his idea.Yet I could not ignore the fact that it seemed to be having a positive influence on our marriage. I did not want to dismiss it out of hand and Geoff for god knows what reason seemed keen enough.

I decided to do a bit of research on the internet and what really helped me feel comfortable with it was the number of people using a device like ours. Based on sales figures 1 in 100 men in the western world own some kind of cock control device. I was very surprised that the number was that high or perhaps there are just lots of strange people, but many people means its not so strange! I just thought Geoff was weird but as it turns out not so uncommon when you consider all the men that should wear one that don’t, or that do not even know about them, or think they should and don’t act on it.

According to my research one of the driving forces behind the behavior change is the inability for Geoff to take matters into his own hand while wearing this device. Its pretty common knowledge that almost all men are chronic masturbators in fact many men are completely and hopelessly addicted to sex, but why not just abstain from the habit. Well Geoff openly admits he does not have the self control to abstain for any length of time, but he told me he did once for a week and the effect is not nearly as dramatic. But Why? It seems that the action of the device is of many facets. On one hand it prevents one from self pleasuring and on the other it seems that most men find it actually pleasurable to wear (at least during the day), it actually makes them almost permanently aroused because it feels like there is a hand holding their sex all the time. Each time they move there is a constant reminder who is in control of their goods. Since there is no way they can act on these good feelings their attention turns to the person who has the ability to release them. So if this is true then why don’t they get frustrated? Geoff tells me that after a few days he feels a overwhelming sense of love and adoration for me…isn’t that sweet. He says I grow angel wings.

Men in fact are far more interested in the chase for sex than the act itself and because wearing a cock cage they are horny all the time so they are in pursuit all the time and they are incapable of getting out of the pursuit feeling because they can’t masturbate. So it mostly comes down to a change in attitude and body chemistry. Men are wired for the pursuit of sex, once they get it and orgasm they go to sleep, if they wank, they don’t need you and resent the fact they have to. So cut off his ability to wank and couple it with constant arousal and you have a man in pursuit of you constantly wanting to please. He will literally climb mountains to please, he will even be hanging on your every word waiting for words of encouragement, he becomes totally tuned to what is your pleasure and transposes his own addiction to sex to wanting to pleasure you.

My research has also shown me that it seems as men get older the big “O” at the end of sex has far less importance than most women would assume. Yes ultimately that is what the chase is all about and it is important to remind him what the chase is about via teasing him, and it is also important that you reward him, but not too much…more on that later.

The other thing that internet sites talk up is the subtle power shift in a relationship that occurs once that lock thing is done up. Almost instantly I find Geoff to be more agreeable and nice to me, this is before there can be any physical contribution to his mental state. As the days pass this powershift seems to become greater and geoff becomes more and more submissive towards me but not to other people, I want and need him to be a strong man, my protector, but I enjoy the fact he will bend to me. Also I find if Geoff has been having a break from the device then it takes a lot longer for him to get back into the saddle. After a few days though I only need to say jump and Geoff really does say how high, and he is happy to do it!! Holding the key to Geoffs cock means that I decide when he gets an O, whether it be via sex or by other means. An awfully large incentive for him to be cooperative, some will read this as being manipulative. But what many women just don’t get is that men want to be manipulated by sex, they love it, they crave it and it makes them happy, so it truly is a win win if the woman is able to empower herself using her sex appeal. You get what you want and he gets what he wants and largely the woman does not have to put out. You don’t even need a chastity device for that, but it sure helps.

Geoff also told me that he feels obligated to ask for sex when he is free, and when I was not in the mood it really devastated him when I said no. The shift in power to me, means he does not feel obligated to ask for sex any more because he knows its up to me, in fact its against the rules for him to ask, and so it removes that pressure for him to ask. It actually helps to avoid Geoff feeling rejected because he does not need to ask.

But there were a still things that annoyed me about geoff and his cage though. One of them was that I would start to feel guilty after 4-7days and let him out because I began to feel pressure anyway regardless of if I felt like it or not, I could sense he wanted me to let him out. But to my surprise I could head off this building tension by teasing him intensely, in fact the more intensely I teased him the more it seemed to relieve him, this is because I am paying him sexual attention. One would think that this would increase his tension, which in a way it does, but in a positive sense. Indifference I found leads to frustration which is what I was initially because I was feeling that pressure! Teasing serves as encouragement, motivation, the promise of what will come if he works hard enough and behaves. The part of the psychology can not be simply ignored otherwise there is no point in playing it, and the whole relationship ends up being indifferent. I found that by teasing and denying Geoff I was able to extend the time he spent in his cage by quite large amounts, which meant we avoided the “down time” after he has had his O, and then when he did, it blew his socks off, and mine.

I also found that a lot of couples make formal rules about this adult play and in the end I decided if we were going to try this lifestyle at all we may as do it the right way, I am not sure if Geoff was entirely too sure about this at first but in the end he agreed, he really had little choice.

These rules that we use work for us. I am sure they will sound strange to some, they would have sounded strange to me a few years ago! We do not role play this 365 days of the year, most of the time our life continues along as it would normally. I think its also important to have a break from this play from time to time and we will take a few months break, but it is usually Geoff who offers to go back in.

There is no point in having rules unless there are penalties for breaking them. Any broken rules means that Geoff has to suffer sexually in some way, which makes this all the more entertaining and part of the engagement or sexual attention. Sometimes I will choose his punishment, other times we have a punishment bag with marbles in it. One color marble corresponds to a punishment which Geoff agrees to follow. Of course Geoff may stop the game at any time, but he understands that if the game stops then its over, finished, if not for good for a very long time. I recommend that you discuss this with your spouse them ask HIM to draw up the rules for your approval.

Our rules:

Geoff recognizes that any sexual attention is a privilege and not a given. He also understands that pleasing me sexually is a privilege and does not necessarily mean he will get to cum. Often when he pleasures me sexually he is unable to cum in any case.

1. Absolutely no asking for a release.
2. No hinting or asking in a whinny voice.
3. No reduction in service, reduction in service is paramount to extorting release. Geoff is required to service me in anyway I see fit. This includes full body massages, servicing me orally or any other way I want him to without his release, waiting on me hand and foot, or anything else I can think of. Geoff must earn his release, but it is not to be expected. I decide when that is.
4. When he is released Geoff may not have his O until I have had mine (sever punishment. Sometimes I try and make him O before me so I can punish him, he knows this and it makes it all the harder for him to resist).
5. Geoff may not have an O during sex unless I give him permission. Sometimes I may refuse him or delay it, and Geoff must thank me for it either for the denial or for release.
6. Absolutely no masturbation ever without my permission. No more morning after long showers remembering the night before. I will never ask him to lock but up but he expected to replace the cage as soon as he and it are clean. Many women suggest it is better to lock it back on as soon as sexual relations have finished, I am a bit lax here but I probably should.
7. Any attitude what so ever, while I do not want a sniveling wretch as a husband I do demand respect and compliance to any decision I might make.

The penalties:

1. locking keys in safe for a set period in addition to whatever time he has been already locked. We use a safe in conjunction with time lock. www.timelockrulesit.come.au Various options here, although Geoff knows how to work it. He is his own worst enemy, he suggested it.
2. Forgoing a release
3. Not permitted to pamper me for one day (sometimes this is a break , but ends up being punishment for me as well so that never lasts long). Complete indifference, this is Geoffs worst nightmare.
4. Tying his cage to his side of his bed, again Geoffs idea, but a good one. This is one of my favorite punishments because it leaves Geoff completely helpless. We attach his cage via one of the guide posts to the leg of the bed with sufficient length that Geoff can sleep comfortably facing away from me. This means that he can roll sufficiently so that I can have a massage if I choose, but once it is over I can choose to move to my side of the bed where Geoff can’t reach me. Of course this has lots and lots of other possibilities. I can tease him relentlessly because he is quite helpless, tickle, smack his bum, take him with my dildo or even masturbate myself out of his reach which just drives him crazy. Geoff can’t get up or touch me, wake me or get up in the middle of the night and disturb me. He must make sure he does not drink before bed so he does not need any midnight trips to the bathroom. If he needs to wake me then he knows the punishment will be sever.
5. Spanking, and yes I do spank Geoff sometimes see http://www.disciplinarywivesclub.com/ They have a huge membership. Men interpret a good spank as sexual attention strangely and its sure satisfying to me. The back of a hairbrush works wonders and his poor bottom can get quite red from my day to day frustrations. Geoff says he prefers being spanked to me ranting anyway. After he told me that I am not so sure he thought the same way, I made sure of that.

I can’t emphasis enough how important it is to engage in at least some form of teasing play. As with anything you will only get out of this what you put in. Ultimately your spouse/boyfriend, whoever will probably decide that its simply not worth his effort otherwise, after all he has given up his favorite toy. The longest amount of time I have denied Geoff his orgasm has been a month, but that was a very intense month and Geoff needed quite a lot of sexual attention even though he did not get to cum. These serve to push geoff’s buttons, he gets off when I control him sexually, so I test him and I have come to quite enjoy it.

1. I will give Geoff his key, but tell him that he will not be getting a O, then I will or I will tell him to edge. This means to bring him to the edge of his O and hold it there for a duration. After the session is finished he must go and replace his cage.
2. 30 second handjob. I like doing this when I have my period and I know Geoff is doing his best to hide the pressure that he feels in his loins. I give him his key and after he washes I ask him to bring himself to the edge, then when he tells me he is close I will give him a 30 second handjob. Since he has been caged he normally cums in under 10 seconds, hence he has his release and it has only taken 10 seconds of effort for me. If I am feeling particularly mean I will stroke him slowly. If geoff does not cum in the 30 seconds then he must replace his cage and wait until next time. He must thank me even if he does not get to cum.
3. Normal intercourse but I tell Geoff he must delay his O until morning, where I may use one of the above methods to release him. Sometimes the next morning if I am feeling really lazy I simply tell him he may take his time in the shower, but this is not preferred as I like to be the SOLE source of his pleasure. Sometimes of course I will inform him that I have changed my mind.
4. Numbing condoms, penis sheath or more than one condom, serves to thicken Geoff’s shaft but also means he gets little to no feeling. After I have had my O, Geoff has 30 seconds to complete. If he fails to complete then he has missed his chance to have a “O” and he goes back in his cage.

A belligerent Post

I probably should change the name of this blog from Journey into a wife lead marriage and change it to Married with a cage.

Sarah loves to be treated like a queen, She loves the massages, the attention, the special things that one can do, but I am coming to a conclusion that she is a lazy leader of our marriage.

That said I guess I have not gone into subspace yet, I caged myself a few nights ago, and I start to feel the trickles of subspace drifting in.

I tried to behave as identical as I could the last few weeks, and I had one crap sex session, then one great sex session then most recently it was crap again. So much for the well behaved correlation with good sex. It seems Sarah likes the cage, we have 100% hit rate then. Admittedly I go completely on overdrive when I am caged, I can’t stop massaging her, touching her wanting to be with her, like I said last time, it did my head in, so I needed a break. I still don’t know if its worth it or not, some would say anything is worth it to make your spouse, to make your marriage work, and it is true to a point.

I just miss wanking soooo much, I love it, I would rather make love to Sarah of course but making love to her 4-5 times a day is not going to happen in this reality, I would even give up wanking if I got to make love to Sarah once a day or probably even 2 or 3 times a week, nar 3 times a week…but once every 10 days on average…nope, my biceps are keeping on keeping on.

But not this week.

Oh no

I locked the fuckin lock again didn’t I

And I know jiggling the cage sucks big time, I would rather be in subspace and enjoy my rampant imagination at everything that looks remotely female wandering by.

I think in some respects its fortunate I have a cage on because I could see how one could take a woman by force , I would never do that of course all I am saying is I understand the forces that could drive a man. Wearing a cage sharpens your focus, it turns on a mans senses, it turns him into a hunter of sex. I look at a woman in the gym, the supermarket, the petrol station and the vivid images of us (whoever my target is) fucking tease my mind and my encaged cock. And vivid it is, it is a truly amazing thing the mind, how quickly is can determine what a woman’s body will look like naked under their cloths.

Women may as well not wear cloths, because I can undress them almost instantly in my mind and know what they will be like, if they will have dimples in their thighs, even the flexibility of their legs, how far they will be able to open them and be able to receive me. I will know if the texture of their skin is soft and white, or hard and rough, if their likely to swell up into a soft moist flower or be a tight grommet or loose gasket, if they are likely to enjoy the sharing of breath, a look in the eyes, if they are bold or if submissive.

I can tell by their faces what their breasts will be like, if they will be firm or motherly, succulent or empty, a handful or just a nipple to play with and tweek between a thumb and a forefinger.

Yes ladies a rampant man can undress you, and fuck you without even touching you, we take you all the time and you don’t even know it.

What many women fail to understand is that it matters not what their physical attributes are like, all women are worth fucking, all women have a hidden sexuality that once found can make a man willing to move mountains for them, it is just a matter of them finding it. Some do it naturally, you know, that frumpy girl that has a aura about her that just makes her sexy even though she is not anything to look at.

A womans aura, it overrides any physical attribute they may have, and in fact can enhance whatever physical attribute they are born with

Their sexually empowers them, find a honry man and he will climb mountains for you.

Why do women fail to see this energy they have, why do they not use it, what is their hang up about utilizing their sexual energy?

Truth is when I get home and I see Sarah, she is the only woman in the world, its like everything during the day has been a build up to her, and when I see her my whole being shrieks to me that I want her, I need her and I love her, all those vivid scenarios wash away and are replaced by a passion orders of magnitude more powerful, more important and more fulfilling, just if only Sarah would / could use it, and acknowledge it.

Perhaps by having a break this time Sarah might make more of an effort to acknowledge her power over me. Perhaps not, Sarah’s physical attributes are awesome for her age, and I am very lucky in that respect, but I would swap those same attributes for a woman who is prepared to embrace her sexuality any day.

There is inklings though.

When I told her a few nights ago that I was once again at her mercy (that’s how I tell her, that I am again at her mercy), she more or less said about time, and she has certainly being ordering her share of massages, even allowing me to view her bare bottom for a time (a big deal for me, and yes I know what it looks like but there is nothing like real flesh to make ones mouth drool). I think she even managed a hug for me. I sense that the break did her good as well as me, this morning when I woke her with a massage and a in bed coffee she told me how nice it was to be woken that way, contrast back a year ago when cage time started out and I would be berated for waking her period!.

Yes Sarah likes the cage, but I am not yet in subspace, or in total horny space, or whatever space it is. I still wonder if it is worth all the wanks I have already given up, but I am in an asshole mood today, a belligerent, alpha male mood. Can’t u tell?

Still I will probably be bloging more over the next week or so, that’s what happens when I am caged up, I need to write about it to sort out my own head.

Right now I am calm, I know after 6 or so weeks of caging (with release every 10 days or so) my sex drives falls right off, as does my ability to masturbate. After my long stint of being locked up it took a few weeks before I was able to return to my normal masturbation habits, but once its returned it seems my body is determined to make up for lost time and my drive over shoots normality and I will do it until it hurts.

I wonder where it will lead this time

BTW on a more submissive note, I bought a new solid ring for the cage, its smaller than the one I use now, its going to hurt more at night but it will make the cage virtually escape proof, its also going to be hard to put on. I practiced with the hinge one that came with the cb3000 and it took some doing getting both balls through. I have worn the hinged one in that size at night before a long time ago before Sarah knew about the cage and I am a bit anxious about Sarah controlling that lock up. I am also getting a stainless steel metal locking pin which will help stop ring movement, and of course remove the easy escape of using side cutters on the plastic pin

A summary of all

I have posted much of this previously so if you have seen a lot of this material before, this is a response in another forum, it ended up being rather lengthy but worthy of reposting here I think.

I originally intended this to be a reply to this thread http://www.lockmeup.com/discus/messages/66/2842.html?1172664540 but I ended up so far off topic I thought I should probably start a new thread. Hope this means something to someone :)

I can’t remember if I am a member here or not, but these days I generally lurk and read and move on. This thread though I have found fascinating, especially with Davey Dark playing the devils advocate.

I have owned a CB3K for near enough to 2 years and I do keep a blog http://cageone.blogspot.com/ for those with interest enough to bother reading it.

While my chastity experience has been less than the idyllic that some people would have you believe I think at least it is realistic. I do think the fantasy of being locked up is far better than the reality of it, well I at least enjoy fantasizing about it more when I am free for obvious reasons!!

But what I found it DOES do is change the way I see my wife. Whether it is ideal or not, and I would agree that one should feel idyllic about your spouse all the time, the divorce rate would indicate we live in a far from idyllic world!!

I do not think there is anything wrong with masturbation, and in fact it DOES serve as a safety valve for imbalance in sex drive that is apparent in so many marriages. While I freely admit I masturbate far more than I need to it does not interfere with my performance as a man. My wife can have me whenever she chooses, she just chooses not to most of the time because she has a low sex drive.

What I have found however in wearing a chastity cage is that there is the issue of making masturbation difficult, enough difficult that the effort is not worth it and the let down while still locked mentally horrible, the feeling of “what the %$@# am I doing this for” becomes an order of magnitude greater if u still have the cage on and you do manage to cum. The payoff is not worth it, so in many respects wearing a cage effectively eliminates masturbation at least for me.

So the first mechanism is lack of orgasm, but I have tried simply abstaining for a week with no cage and the feeling was not nearly as intense as while wearing a cage why??

The second mechanism is after a few days the cage at least for me begins to actually FEEL GOOD, when I move the action of my penis inside the cage actually feels like I am in a pussy, or at least in something, it feels nice. Driving along in a car I have nearly but not quite been able to cum just by rocking forwards and back, but just as it does begin to feel good of course swelling begins and the action stops leaving one in a state of arousal, interestingly not frustrated but aroused.

Being aroused a man is in pursuit frame of mind, he wants sex, and is prepared to do anything to get it. EVEN be very very nice to his wife no matter what she says, and this I believe is where wearing a chastity cage is likened to the courtship days of a marriage, some people call it subspace, it is all the same thing. But it is common knowledge men like the thrill of the chase, which is the enjoyable part of chastity, is chasing your spouse, pleasing her wooing her into releasing you. But lets be clear, as much as pleasing your spouse an important part of the process, the release IS the target, it is the culmination of acknowledgements that you have succeeded in pleasing your spouse.

The third mechanism is the awareness of your situation, like a gloved hand holding you cock constantly, the knowledge that your wife is the ONLY one that can release you keeps your mind focused where it should be on your spouse, the subtle power shift. While I admit women in general become infinitely more attractive after a few days caged, and I find myself undressing women in the supermarket in far more greater detail than normal (well I do it when I am uncaged also but my imagination goes on overdrive) the arousal is further enhanced by other woman, but with the knowledge that one can’t do anything about it anyway so there is no guilt associated with it because sex with another is no longer realistic. Focus on ones spouse is certainly enhanced.

The forth mechanism is closely tied to the third mechanism, and only works up to a point. At least for me after a certain period of time uncaged I almost feel obligated to try it on for sex, ask my wife for sex, when or if I am rejected, my response is almost well stuff u then I will have a wank, or a realization that my next release will be coming from my own hand, an end to the pursuit mode. A waste of arousal by my own hand. Of course abstinence could well be a solution to this but it does not address the rejection, masturbation only acerbates these destructive feelings. Wearing a cage means that my wife decides purely and simply when sex will occur, it helps take away the feeling of obligation to ask for sex, and rather increases a need for other sexual energy, and I know I can’t waste my sexual energy by masturbation. I do find though if I feel I deserve a release then my inner turmoil can reach a point close to breaking, but it does largely transfer the power of sexual initiation to your spouse. Sure one could harass your spouse for the key and she would probably give it over, but after the INVESTMENT of days in a cage without orgasm, you really WANT the release to be special, and you KNOW its only going to be special if your wife decides when.

Getting back to an earlier statement, fantasy is quite different from reality. I often fantasize about my wife keeping me locked up for weeks on end even months, occasionally I will even have a no orgasms for the rest of my life wank. But the reality is after about 10 days (I have gone 15 days locked up) I start climbing the walls. I know that the game stops being enjoyable after about 7 days. The fantasy about my wife mercilessly teasing me, paying me endless sexual attention without my release, giving her oral sex is never going to be anything other than a fantasy. The reality is that I end up teasing myself, I scrape tidbits of tease by pressing up against her flesh while I massage her. She is not into the tease bit, in fact I am hard pressed to identify changes in HER behaviour, although she does seem to be happier and she will reward me at the end of a cage session by making a proper effort at sexual intimacy and it usually IS awesome. But is it worth it?? I find myself far more emotionally needy, I need and crave hugs and intimacy aside from sex, and this scares me sometimes.

One of the reasons I am not locked now, my wife will not take the step of asking me to wear it, nor do I really expect her to or probably want her too, but that is another discussion. But the other reason is that if I do put it on my wife tends to leave it on until I start climbing the walls!! I find myself in this needy state which is not sated by other forms of intimacy.

Getting back to the thread topic, if my wife DID pay me SEXUAL ATTENTION during the time between releases I think I probably could go for a month or more without release and probably enjoy it. If she did tease and deny me, with the knowledge ultimately I would get released I think that would be an interesting enjoyable trip. But the trip would ONLY be enjoyable if my wife got something out of it as well.

Right now I am in the process of trying to behave identically uncaged as with the cage and see if the intimacy can stay on the level. That way of course I get to keep my favourite plaything and wank about being locked up as often as I like. I will end up locking it back on just because it is kind of addictive, and my wife does not object to the device. And it does make the fantasy better if occasional reality occurs. On the other hand I want to convince myself its worth locking myself back up again. It really is a hot and cold kind of fiasco.

Unfortunately I doubt I will ever find out what it would be like to be the husband of Princess Melanie, I can see a huge attraction and a path to where they are, but also there are aspects that are far beyond my limits. But who is to say that those limits would not change should the path be walked rather than imagined.

Then some would say that perhaps in marriage there are some paths that should never be walked.

P.S. I will probably post this on my blog as well.

Mind Blowing

A week after my release and my request for a break, although I am still very much in a submissive frame of mind I feel it slipping away, and old habits returning in terms of self gratification. I make a really special effort though to keep up the massages, and keep up the service, as if I was still under the key so to speak.

So many people have told me to drop the cage, I wanted to see if it made any difference.

I maintained my level of service like any good submissive would, except I begun to feel less and less like doing so.

After about 8-9 days I tried in on for sex and Sarah said no, maybe tomorrow night, again, as if I was caged I simply gave her a back rub and went to sleep, admittedly with an expectation for the following night, well I was on a promise ffs.

Tomorrow night came and Sarah did not stop me, which is usually the only sign I get that intimacy is going to be on, so I proceeded, Sarah demanded a long massage, that’s find, I can deal with that, and we proceeded, and for once it was bare back, normally while caged I wear a condom.

But it was crap.

Sarah could not or would not get into it, I tried not to put pressure on her, but she wanted me to cum, so I did so in a bit of a hurried way, I hate having sex when its just me that’s enjoying it, so once I realized it wasn’t working for Sarah, I managed to cum in under mmmm 10-15 seconds I guess, only because Sarah gets very guilty if I don’t, something I have tried to manage before by assuring her its ok that I would rather wait for her, but this puts her under more pressure for next time…..so alas.

It would seem caging does at least improve our sex life. Not once following a cage session has Sarah failed to get her motor started, I guess this has got to be telling me something.

*I murmured that I guess my break away from being caged should probably come to an end, Sarah did not really respond, nor did I expect her too but I did get an enthusiastic hug goodnight, I guess that means yep…

So the following day I put it back on, Sarah has the key already as per usual so its just a matter of me closing the lock. This time I did so without too much trouble. Later on that evening at bed time during her nightly massage I told her that she could sleep easy again, and well, she just smiled at me but then she told me that I wasn’t to wake her in the morning moving about or giving her a back rub at first light, and also that I wasn’t to be getting up in the middle of the night either, and if I woke her I would be in dog doo doo. In fact she added that she should tie me down (in my dreams I thought), still I felt a little twing..lol

I did manage to comply but I lay there thinking about things for a while, and I thought about how I could stop myself from moving about , getting up, forcing myself not to drink before bed so I did not have to get up and use the toilet. I did come up with a rather kinky idea, which I was not sure if Sarah would go for or not, but hey I thought this was pretty cool. I did manage to get through the night ok, although I did get up much earlier than Sarah because I wanted to go rummage for some materials in my shed. I found one of those steel eye screw things, a real solid one that can screw into wood.

I knew Sarah was going out for the day and I only work pretty local so I went up to the DYI store and bought some strong cord, but covered in soft plastic, I know you know the cord I mean, and also some clamps so I could make loops in the end of the cord, then I went home and screwed the eyelet into the bottom of the base of our bed, approximately where my waist would be, I then lay down and measured how much cord it would take if I attached it to my guide pins on my cock cage so that I could lie comfortable facing the edge of the bed but so that if the cord was attached to the eyelet it would prevent me from rolling over, in fact without maneuvering a fair bit I would not even be able to face Sarah unless I was right on the very very edge of the bed.

So now I had a system where I could attach myself by my cock to the bed via a padlock, there was something kind of erotic about this as I played with the padlock and key I had purchased, there I was lying there on the bed with my pants down and a cord attached to my cage with no cutting implements near by, I closed the lock. Of course I had the key so I could unlock myself but I could not help but imagine, what if the key wouldn’t work, or if I suddenly, I don’t know had a spasm and threw the keys out of reach. I would be basically stuck there, tied to the bed by my cock. Imagine my embarrassment when Sarah got home, having a nap are we dear???, what that’s you say?, what do u want “the key” for?

I did actually feel a sense of vertigo at the thought of it, what would be worse if one of my boys came home early and wondered why dad wouldn’t get out of bed. Hmmm sufficient to say I did not leave it locked longer than was necessary to check I had the length correct, to enable unimpeded sleep yet I would be unable to touch Sarah at all unless she wanted me too.

Night time came and I did have everything ready so that I would not have to make a fuss about it. As I lay there after Sarah had finished watching her TV shows and I had spent a long time rubbing her back, I said to her that I had found a solution to disturbing her in the morning. Now you have to understand Sarah has clearly accepted the cock cage, this is not a particularly large step, just another dimension, well that’s what I kept telling myself. So I handed Sarah the key to my second padlock, truth is she kind of rolled her eyes, and did not say anything, nor did I show her anything as it was actually out of her view. I could have still actually gotten out of it but I attached myself and closed the lock, no going back now I thought. I simply said to Sarah after I had been fiddling for a bit, kind of on purpose to get some attention, there, now I CAN’T wake you early in the morning.

At first she did not say anything but I was hoping and it did, curiosity got the better of her, “what do you mean” she asked as she kind of moved over for a bit of a look. So I showed her, and I then showed her that I could not actually roll over much to face her. Sarah then said, well THIS is probably the best development I have EVER seen, I can’t believe you have tied yourself to the bed by your balls!!! She thought it was really funny before she remarked I guess that makes you quite helpless then, and then as if to test the theory she started tickling me, fark I was not expecting that, and she was relentless, and she was right I was helpless, completely, the then flounced out of reach, and I looked at her with feigned anger, that’s not fair I said.

Sarah then said more seriously, so you really can’t get off then?, I said well no its attached to the cage and you know I can’t get that off!, “What happens if there is a fire she asks?” Fair enough I thought, so I told her that I really could break the cage open if I really had to, but it would destroy it. The truth is however it would not be that simple with the KSD inserted it might take some doing to get it off without damaging myself but I was prepared to take that risk, I made a mental note to keep some metal side cutters next to the bed just in case I had to cut the guide posts.

Alas Sarah seemed to like the idea. As she had finished tickling me and I was forced to arrange myself for sleep, Sarah to my surprise actually came over and gave me a hug from behind. Normally I wear a tee shit to bed and Sarah wears a long nighty, the only time I see whats under the nighty is when we are having sex and I am permitted to fondle her breasts. Now, I was not able to turn to face Sarah but I sensed that there was less material in-between my back and Sarah than there should be, had Sarah actually taken off her nightly? No way, but the thought of it instantly made me hard inside my cage, along with the scent of Sarah’s breath whispering over my shoulder.

But then Sarah started shifting a bit, it actually felt like she was grinding her pubic bone into my botton, now my bum was bare, and there was no mistaking the fact the Sarah had nothing on down there either. This can’t be happening I thought, this is not like Sarah but then she EVEN actually pushed my teeshirt up and brushed her BARE breasts on my back followed up by grinding her pubic bone even harder against me. WTF OK OK I thought there was no mistaking that, and I was now hard enough inside my cage to really know about it bordering on pain. I have always asked her to tease me a bit more when I am caged, but she has NEVER done so, I could not help thinking now that perhaps its because the cage only makes my cock helpless, not ME ENTIRELY.

I reached my hand over the side to Sarah’s arse without saying anything, fact is I know Sarah hates me speaking at times like this, and I felt her small bare arse in my hand, and god I love the feel of that arse, it felt like silk, so warm and so close, and my situation I was in had obviously done something for Sarah.

What surprised me even more was it was like her pussy was radiating heat, I swear I could feel warmth and that she was horny but I dare not test the theory, because if my hand wandered to far down there I know that I would be in the shit so, but my imagination was running rampant. I was sure I was just fantasizing. Then Sarah actually spoke to me, she said, you know I just realized you really are completely helpless for the very first time in our marriage, I could do anything I want to you, and there is nothing you could do about it.

I attempted to roll on to my back a bit so I could face her but the cord pulled on my balls preventing me, I was very much a helpless man in Sarahs grip, As I had moved my hand back I managed by complete accident (not) to brush the back of Sarahs pussy, omg I was not wrong about the heat, she was wet.

I actually felt dizzy as this realization came over me. I had not been here before, many many times in my dreams but the reality? Sarah did not pull away as she normally would if my hand brushed her pussy, in fact she seemed to want me too, now my cock was extremely hard, and throbbing within its confines, I felt short of breath and yet I was in a state of ecstasy. Should I risk it, or should I behave, should my hand find her wet pussy again, there was no mistaking it, Sarah was horny, and my helpless situation was the cause.

My hand went behind me and I touched her heaven again, and again she did not pull away in fact Sarah positioned herself so I COULD touch her, and I did, she was wet, and truly swollen down there, again I tried to turn and again the pull of the cord on my cock prevented me, “no fair” I whispered, Sarah actually gave ne a nip on the neck and one of her hands draped over my chest play with my chest hair, while she brought up a leg and rubbed it over my hip, and my hand had better and better access but the angle was making my arm sore. I was not sure how long I could keep it up, but I was determined not to make a mess of this situation….my hand was nearly drenched, I had not felt Sarah this horny since I can’t remember when. I can’t describe the mixture of emotion that coursed through my mind and body, my painful cock and yet I was just so happy that something I had done had aroused Sarah so.

I really wanted to give Sarah a orgasm, there was only one way I could think of that I could possible manage it…there was a bit of movement going on my down, there were no more games about hiding the fact that the was a game a foot. And Sarah once aroused tends to be a lot more open to suggestions…so I slid off the side of the bed, I was so close to the side anyway, this caused some slack in the cord enabling me to turn and face Sarah and I gently rubbed and opened her legs before I lent down and begun to taste what has been such a long hiatus from giving oral sex to Sarah. Sarah states that she does not like oral sex yet every time I have performed for her she climaxes quickly, so it has always been a bit of a puzzle why she says she does not like it. She does say that the prefers me to be “in” her when she cums, perhaps that is simply it. Whatever she did not resist me now even though I felt nervous about breaking the atmosphere. Sarah opened her legs completely for me and I was very conscious of listing to her and monitoring what she liked and what she did not.

Then Sarah actually moved away from me. I was not sure at first, I thought she was getting herself more comfortable, but then she moved again, and as I moved to recommenced I felt a sudden tautness down there. Sarah was teasing me I could not reach her pussy with my mouth because of the cord holding my cock to the base of the bed …I looked up at her and I saw her majestic breasts and then, my heart nearly stopped when I saw her wicked smile, it was nearly scary. It seems Sarah is not so innocent after all….I stretched on the cord and it pulled on my balls and I was able to just reach…and yet Sarah inched away again…yet my hands could still reach her so I grabbed her legs firmly yet gently and pulled her too my mouth, I am not THAT helpless I thought, Sarah did not resist and a few seconds later Sarah climaxed in my mouth, whereby me kneeling at the side of the bed and Sarah rested on her back she slowly closed her legs and returned to her side of the bed.

The only thing she said to me was,”I think you had better get used to that leash” before kissing me on my lips that were still slippery with her juices….

I knew better than to say anything, but I lay there a long time, awake, I was so satisfied and yet so frustrated, it was a long time, the scent of her pussy woke me various times in the night. I must have woken from nigh time erection more times than ever before. Come morning I needed to use the bathroom, but I couldn’t, I had to lay there for about an hour waiting for Sarah to wake up whereby Sarah just looked at me and said, “is something wrong?” before going off to the bathroom herself.

So I guess I should get back to reality now, the bit after the “*” was the stuff of dreams.

After the rain

Hi Tom, I understand exactly where you are coming from, I have in fact succeeded in hiding these feelings of frustration completely from Sarah, she is not aware of the inner turmoil I feel, if she knew then she would say games over anyway.

One thing that does make the game harder is the lack of sexual attention or acknowledgement, this has been covered over and over, and perhaps its simply not a game that should be played by a couple that has such a busy life, with 4 kids.

I certainly am more needy when my cock is locked up, I need more emotional reassurance from Sarah to make me feel happy each day. If she does not have this emotional support to give then perhaps I should give the cage away. I am not sure if I am truly seeking a D/S relationship persay any more, I am and have always been looking for a way of increasing intimacy with Sarah, and have been exploring different ways of achieving this. I must admit that being dominated by a woman sexually certainly triggers arousal in me, but at the same time dominating women from a D/S perspective also arouses me. For Sarah I am quite happy to play either game. Fact is I would play ANY game Sarah wanted me too. I just want her to engage with something.

I always start out OK, I always start out thinking Sarah can keep me locked up for a month this time, I even feel turned on by the thought, I have even fantasized about longer periods, but these fantasies are always accompanied with substitute sexual attention, ie Sarah allowing me to service her with my tongue, or Sarah teasing me mercilessly or milking me with a strapon, or me having sex with Sarah with a strapon (no release for me). Unfortunately none of these substitutes for release are ever likely to happen, and so the only sexual attention I ever get is when I get let out!! I have even suggested to Sarah that some of these substitutes might be a way of keeping it on for longer, but she does not seem very interested.

Sarah did let me out on Thursday night last week, and once again Sarah made a very special effort, it was a really really good session. I was even permitted to suck on her nipple, which was something I am not usually allowed to do. It was really very nice.

It is hard to tell if it is the cage resulting in this, or if it is the fact that Sarah knew she had stretched me over the last few days and that because I had kept the pressure off, kept my mouth shut, I was rewarded. And rewarded I was.

I still struggle though, waking every night twice a night, nightly and morning massages, extra chores around the house while she sleeps in. IS it worth for sex that I would get anyway, it would just not be as good. But then, Sarah DOES seem much happier, but is this because I am doing more around the house and have taken the pressure for sex right off her or is it because she is denying me self pleasure.

Yet I have tried simply keeping up the service and I honestly do not think that Sarah seems as happy. I think she is happiER when I am locked up. Sarah also becomes more conscious of how long it has been since I have had a release. It makes it harder for her to ignore sex and intimacy.

In any case I am still free. I asked Sarah if she minded if I took a break for a while. I told her it was “doing my head in” which it is, plus we went camping over the weekend and I was glad to be free for that, just simply because it would have been a hassle.

But now I am thinking should I put it on tonight?, Sarah did take the key again, it was in the morning after while I was massaging her if she minded if I took a break. Sarah of course agreed, in fact she claimed she did not even know I had been wearing it till a few days prior (a little white lie I do believe). Sarah still wants to remain indifferent to its use.

And so begins the cycle of should I or shouldn’t I.

I probably should but I don’t know if I want to.

Of course if Sarah asked me to I would, but I know now she will never ask me to. There is good reason for this. If she did ask me to then it would mean she wanted me to do it, and then this could give rise for greater resentment when I felt like I deserved release.

Like Digger, on his birthday, I would have been upset, as I was on Valentines day. That said, I bet that what made digger more angry is because she FORGOT, it was the indifference that made him angry, as it does me. If Sarah was doing it to me to tease me then I would be Ok with it. I bet if for Diggers birthday Arwyn had said, now digger tonight I am not going to release you BUT for your birthday I am going to have you service me with your tongue, he would be in heaven….as I would be.

Its hard to be in a D/S mindset when only one of u is in the mindset, now lets not get into, its hard to be in a D/S mindset when one of you has little or no libido.

Let me ask a question, find me a Domina or Mistress that does NOT have a libido to go with it. That does not mean they are necessarily interested in men, but they have an interest in sex, or exchange of sexual attention.

While the pink vibrator indicates that Sarah has a bit of a sex drive, I read somewhere that women masturbate roughly in the same frequency that they like to have sex. That means that Sarah would probably like to have sex about twice a month, I would hardly classify that as having high libido, although judging by some I am not so badly off!!!.

What I would do to peer into her mind, I asked Sarah very recently again if she ever fantasizes, and she once again said nope, I went on to complain that in the 14 years or so we have been married she has never once shared any fantasy with me. I was bold enough to ask if she was interested in mine, pffft…I should have known better…

I inclined to run with it off for now, and watch digger suffer at the hands of the Forever Aroused Girl. I think I will keep the service up (although it is certainly easier to keep the service up while caged, I genuinely like that aspect) and see how it runs. I know I probably have at least one more session this cycle coming my way. It might serve as a control. I am enjoying my freedom probably too much, Oh interesting though following nearly three weeks of restricted orgasm, I do find my ability to self pleasure has diminished somewhat. I have observed this before, but after a week or so it comes back. If your not using it you do loose it, but then I am rather a chronic self pleasurer when I am free.