A better cage

That last post was a bit of a downer I guess. and thanks to the commenter, so sorry it took me like a month or two to publish it.

Business has been quite good lately and I find myself far to busy to spend time typing in here, although I still do a fair amount of reading and fantasizing of course. Wondering if Sarah will ever change.

Actually to be honest just lately Sarah has been making more of a effort, not in being a femdom or anything but just allowing a greater intimacy. This will probably sound a bit pathetic to some but Sarah actually seems to like it when I relieve myself while spooning her and giving her a massage, but the gift of her orgasms still are way too infrequent. Just lately Sarah has agreed to doll out my orgasms, and although she does not really give me any lists or tasks to earn them, she does make me massage her an awful lot. Sarah now refers to the CB6000 as "that horrible thing" and to be fair after more than 2 years of life its definitely at the ned of its service life, if i could be bothered i would take a picture, although its clamped on my cock right now as I still wear it work most days, but take it off when i get home. it is in a sorry state alright, it cracked open over a year ago and needed super gluing back together, which means its not quite clear any more, also the seam has dark crap in there that you can't get out, not to mention the cable tie I put around it as added security against further splits. I have a wad of putty on the top that stops the lock from banging. All in all a very yucky device and not very intimate, and I can't say I blame her

Anyway I told Sarah I want a new and non tacky one for my birthday, she was pretending to be too asleep to answer but at least she did not say no. I am actually thinking about the steelheart since thumper raves on about it all the time. Plus since business is going quite well, the money is not really a issue as it would have been a year ago. But I see two major problems with it.

One is security and I don't want to get a a PA piercing, more because I hate the idea of permanently having to watch out where my pee goes when I pee, and also because it would certainly freak Sarah out. The other concern I have is hygiene, I don't know how you would keep that one clean, and how it does not stink when one takes it off, which is also a intimacy killer for spontaneous interludes (if when they happen). At least with the CB6000 I can keep whats inside clean so that one can barely whiff anything when its removed, but its taken 4 years to get to a point when I can do this relatively easily and effectively.

For the security I was thinking about getting the fixing with internal penis plug

http://steelworxx.de/Fixing-with-integrated-Penis-Plug-42p.html

The cool thing about this is that it holds everything in place, and while one could almost certainly pull your cock out of the tube still, getting it back in would be impossible without the key....this is not true for the CB6000 even though the KSD makes it very hard to get off, getting it back on is actually easier than getting it off with the help of a stocking. Clearly using the penis plug fitting this would not be possible, and trying to stuff your cock back in through that loop while its still inside the tube be nigh impossible.

The main thing that I have concern about with the penis plug is the long term viability of having shoved in your pee hole, and how its going to feel during an attempted erection...I know i probably do not have so many readers these days but I am wondering if there are anyone with experiences with this thing?

I have also written to Steelworx and asked them if I could modify the steelheart 2 a little bit. I want to make the opening at the front a little bigger so I can use my paintbrush trick to get soap up in there....and also if its possible to drill or perforate the tube on the sides (not on the top for aesthetic reasons, or the bottom for smoothness reasons)with LOTS of tiny 1mm holes, so the tube can both breath...and so that one can direct a stream of water onto the holes and flash the tube out. I do not see the point in having large vents when if you had only small holes but lots of them so that you can pass water through but skin won't come bulging out during a erection. From a construction point of view it might be hard anyway will wait and see if its possible.

I also asked if it might be possible to have a adjustable foot that resembles a KSDG2 on a thread , where the height of such can be adjusted while the device is unlocked but not tampered with when locked, I have not physically seen a device so I am not sure if this will be possible or not, but it would be great to effectively change the size of the hole where the shaft goes into the tube which would enhance security particularly if the penis plug is not tolerable over a long period....I somehow doubt they will be interested in that idea but it does not hurt to ask.

I will let u know how I go...and if in the end being in metal really does have the claimed improvement in intimacy appeal....

Not dead just buried.

Another dead blog, or someone that just has lost interest?
No that is not really true, but per my last post its very hard to waste time now that my world has become so time challenged. Yes starting a business is not a short term commitment but rather a commitment that moves from months to years very quickly. Fortunately despite the economic climate so far at least touch wood it is feeding our family and we might even get a holiday soon.
I have not stoped stealing some time to keep up with the latest news and my fetish with regards to chastity remain, in fact I am wearing the CB6000 now, but its not Sarah that is holding key, I actually wear it during the day quite a lot just because I find it helps me stay focused, and keeps my hands off it, although I find wearing it also intensifies other feelings at the same time.

Another reason I think is that there are so many other writers out there that are so much more prolific, and graphic than I can be or have time for, and have a far greater skill than I have both in their writing ability and also their relationship with their spouse is a lot closer, or at least willing to play along. I like to read Thumper a lot, I think he is clearly the new king of the chastity blogs, its amazing how similar initially he was in the beginning to how Sarah and I are, but with a difference his bell actually HAS a libido whereas Sarah simply does not, well at least not as far as I am concerned.
I guess to be fair to Sarah she has a lot on her plate, although she does not work we do have 4 children to consider, and they are not without constant tribulations, one of which is finalising his schooling this year and is as stressed as a poor child can be.
Sarah has no interest, assigns no priority to us as a couple and any attempt to engage in any discussion that has anything to do with sex, penis cages, chasity, femdom, orgasm denial, basically anything to do with intimacy between us is met with complete dis interest, like there are far greater priorities in life than intimacy.
The strange thing is I “get that” but I also get very frustrated that she won’t even give up one tiny bit of her consciousness for US…or ok…well for me…but in my mind it is us.
We did venture into her holding the keys to my cage 2 or three months ago….where I left them on her bedside table telling her that when ever they are there when I get home from work (I told her I liked to wear it to work)I would take it off when I got home, and if they were not there I would know she was looking for a massage….with no strings attached, the keys did go away, but it was a short term thing because 5 days later she let me out and announced we should get rid of it, because there was no point to it because she never actually wanted to let me out……..ever.
Now that sounds really kinky and on first though conjures thoughts of strap on harnesses while still cages or giving Sarah oral sex while I am locked up for life, whatever. But what this actually means in sarah speak is that she never feels like intimacy, she never FEELS like letting me out, ie she never gets horny, Sarah also seems to have a thing about owing people anything, After spending a week rubbing her back and doing things for her, she feels like she OWES me a release, I have to admit I agree with her!!! But we all know femdoms HATE feeling that they owe anyone anything.
The problem from my mind space is that femdom is all well and good and so is orgasm denial but at the end of the day there has to be some completion, some kind of acknowledgment even if acknowledgment is a substitute for reward, Sarah gives neither, and so I am afraid to say we have settled back into the old routine where I leave her alone for a week, (apart from the occasional back rub and also let her know I am horny in the faint hope she feels sorry for me…which even if I ask her she says no…she has no sympathy….then after about a week or so I start harassing her for sex until she gives in.
The stupid things is I HATE harassing her for sex, but after a week or so I start to feel driven, its not really sex I am after though its passion, its intimacy because I cam make myself cum 5-6 times a day until it gets sore if I want to but the drive for intimacy is different and for deeper and stronger, and depressing when its not returned.
I am still here, still breathing, still at least thinking about Sarah being in control of our sex life, but getting Sarah to be in control is as hard as getting her to like sex. You can’t MAKE anyone do anything, she is what she is, I guess I either have to accept it or leave her, I can’t make myself into something I am not either, tried that, just ended up depressing myself, although I must admit I am tempted to try it again, my libido is driving my crazy at the moment, waking up with a rock hard cock in the morning every friggin morning…so hard it hurts….at least the cage wakes me before it gets to the super rockon phase so I can normally head it off…..:(

Been far too busy

Starting up a business sure eats into your time, and blogging unfortunately is one of the casualties of this exercise.

Also there seems to be a plethora of blogs now dedicated to orgasm control and chastity with very prolific writers and their followers, not that it’s a competition or a pissing contest but what I have to say just can’t compare to the participation and the depth of these other bloggers and to the extent their wives play along.

Also I think I lost a few people when I tried to reduce my ridiculous sex drive by trying different drugs, I guess I am a bit out there, still the remains a struggle, certainly not a new one though and my overtly large sex drive remains a problem for Sarah given hers is completely my sex drive inverted.

Still I find it funny though that even though I have not updated this blog for a long time, it still seems to rank quite highly in the google searches, maybe I could put some links to by business in here….ummm….not!!!....although I have pretty much come clean with Sarah now on all of my activities pertaining to reducing my sex drive….I think she still would rather my two orbs be removed completely…

We took a long break from the chastity cage, Sarah did not see the point since she feels that she has to let me out every 3-4 days even if its to let me relieve myself, and she stated point blank that she would rather never let me out of it. I don’t really understand this notion that developed of hers that she has to let me out every 3 days or so, I think it possibly comes from guilt of keeping me locked up. It is funny she always seems to give up on cage play just when I feel like I am falling into a rhythm of good submissive husband mindset, and when I think she is developing a taste for control (see previous post)

In any case a few weeks ago after I had been pestering her for sex for a few days on end, as you do when your wife says no, she told me to put the cage back on in no uncertain terms, and so here I sit caged again.

This time though having read all of the other blogs around the place, I pretty much know we are doomed to fail in this mindset, Sarah just can’t bring her self to be interested in tease and denial, or even this female led dynamic, it simply takes too much effort on her part, and she is not prepared to entertain it. So for those of you that do have a wife that are prepared to invest their time and THOUGHT towards this dynamic just remember there are those of us would be sub husbands that completely and totally envy your situation.

The other issue we have is that Sarah really does lack libido, she is simply not interested in having orgasms on a semi regular basis, in fact I think she would quite happily be orgasmless for months on end, she calls it a chore, it again takes too much effort.

And so this is the reason why chastity for us is most probably set to fail, it is a celibacy device rather than a chastity/tease and denial device. This is how Sarah sees it, and uses it as a way of gaining peace from my relentless cock. While initially this was exciting in itself, now it has become somewhat of a bore.
Its been clear to me for a long time I have a desire to submit sexual control to Sarah, but submission in itself is not enough, there also has to be control. This seems to be a common thread in all D & S scenarios. With Sarah , I actually think she likes the control, but she just can’t be bothered. It also becomes an effort for me as well, because although I feel all the subby feelings, and make an extraordinary effort to serve Sarah, backrubs, hot milks, wanting to be with her, offering to meet for coffees, much of these things she gets while I am not caged but, certainly I put in 110%, but what I find is that it does not make one little tiny bit of difference how much effort I put in and how much I really do adore and worship her as a woman, I am still sleeping next to what may as well be a sack filled with sand….a very beautiful sack of sand but as responsive as a sack of sand, one that finds it an effort to even talk about this dynamic, or its associated bits.

Fear is the mind killer, no…fear is not the mind killer, fear at least is exciting.

Indifference is the mind killer.

Update

I have finally progressed to the number 4 ring of the CB6000, and let me tell you its taken nearly 2 years of wearing to get to a point where I can tolerate the smaller ring on a long term basis.

Its not wearing it during the day that is so much of a issue, although Sarah gave me a 2 day (she specified the 2 days) break the other day and it seemed like after 2 days out , puting the smaller ring back on was mighty uncomfortable especially at night for the first few nights.

The point is with the smaller ring is that I really can't escape from it. In fact I am flat out getting it on. I do not shave my hair down there so if I actually took the ring apart as you can with the CB6000 rings then I can get it on but not without the pubic hair being a real problem, so what I normally do is put my balls through one at a time then use a stocking to pull my cock through....then use the stocking again to put the tube and the KSDG3 on as well. The trouble is with the number four ring I can only JUST fir my balls through and then there is not enough space to get my cock through.....I have tried a few times and I can just do it but but really hurts so I have settled on taking the ring apart and taking my time not to get ahir caught. The point is that if I can't get my cock through the ring even with the help of a stocking pulling it through then its impossible to pull it out the back, there is no space.I can shift it around a bit but I can't actually get it out. Once your used to the small ring its actually more comfortable during the day but night time sucks big time....even with my reduced erections from the hair drug...

Update on that is my hair is noticeably thicker, it really does work!! ...but I am pretty sure its still making me a bit tired and I feel but I am not sure it might be taking the edge off my ability to process data, I feel like I am limited somehow but I can't quite put my finger on it. All that said I have been working out a lot at the gym and managed to loose a whole 6 KGs (13 pounds ) in 6 weeks, so I actually should be feeling better. My wife took my son to another doctor and thankfully it seems like putting him on the same drug has been put off for a few years...when I consider the side effect it is having on me I am not sure if I would be happy him taking it at his age even if the doctors say its OK.

Now to Sarah, Sarah has definitely taken control of our sex life, or lack of it, actually though the last time we had sex was mind blowing....Sarah does not like to be touched with hands during foreplay, she only likes to feel a hard cock rub between her legs, usually as soon as she is aroused she will direct my entry then allow me to stroke her clit and various other good parts in order to enhance her experience. This time however she did not direct me inside her but she left me rubbing on the outside to the point where I was so hard and desperate I was on the edge of coming just like I was, especially after a whole week sine my last release. In the end I was wondering if Sarah was ever going to let me in, talk about the ultimate tease!!!, she was really freaking me out, eventually I decided that perhaps she had no intention of letting me in so I started to rub her clit with my hand while the head of my cock moved just near her opening, I dared not put it in until Sarah decided it was time and Sarah was getting off on the fact that I would not put it in until she decided to the extent that she climaxed with out me ever entering her. But then she surprised me by putting me in AFTER she had climaxed...to which I uttered...a noooo....because I wanted it to be just for her...alas I lasted about 30 milli seconds before I blew my load...

Move on a week or two ...after being released just for bottom rubs (which is the only release I have had in about 3 weeks) the last bottom rub I was a bit disappointed that Sarah was not getting into it and I let her know it as well (which was a bit of a mistake)....actually I had climaxed but not to the point Sarah knew although I had been massaging and rubbing against her back for a while....Sarah asked if I had come or not, and I had to admit that I had. Sarah responded by telling me that I was lucky I had because she was going to tell me to lock it back up as punishment for complaining, that I was lucky to get to rub my cock on her bum....well.....consider my sub button pushed...pressed home completely. Of course I locked back up the next day.

A few days later, I had been especially good (I am not going into details) and Sarah produced the keys again, she told me that she was pleased with me and that I had earned a few days release from the cage, but ONLY for 2 nights after which I was to put it back on however there was not going to be sex because she had her period (well that sucked). Sarah actually went on to say that she is enjoying the control she now has over our sex life and that she is wanting me to keep wearing it....well i asked for it.

I have now been wearing the CB6000 for roughly 4 months with the longest break being a single 2 week break in the middle. A new record for me.

Life goes on

And on.

Update on the proscar, morning erections seem to be resurrecting themselves as the cage is waking me in the mornings sometimes these days. Not nearly as rampant as before but they are definitely there.

At the same time I have decided its time to shed some of the weight I have put on over the last few years and have joined the local gym. its quite amazing how quickly fitness can return and I have managed to loose a whopping 3.5KGs in 3 weeks! which is roughly a kilo per week. I guess thats what running 4Kms per day will do. I have never been obese but my tummy was definitely becoming noticeable to the point where I did need to lean forward to see ones cock...I have also cut down my alcohol consumption to hmmm about 3 glasses of wine per night...

I would really like to move to the number 4 ring on the CB6000 but while I can tolerate it a few days, I actually find that my whimpering night time arousal become painful hardons because the number 4 ring is quite tight even when completely flaccid and so it acts like a cockring making hardons really hard and difficult to get rid of, its not too tight when flaccid though, its comfortable enough as long as one is careful not to allow the skin to bunch or fold onto itself which is quite tough with this small ring. Anyone that has ever worn a chastity belt know that folded skin under the ring, while it does not hurt initially, it can suddenly become REALLY painful, so wearing the smaller ring means a lot more adjustments during the day. The nice thing about the number 4 ring is it is impossible to escape from, no way I could pull out of it, and during the day it is quite comfortable...but night time eeeck, It would be really great if there was a ring in between the 4 and 3 ring, there seems to be a huge difference in size between the 2.

Sarah ha settled into the cage wearing, this time at least she seems to be embracing it, even agreeing I should wear it during her period, I think it has finally dawned on her why and how my sexuality works....and why cage wearing is a good thing for her/us and all concerned. Its kinda scary as well because I am not sure if I want to be wearing a plastic cage for the rest of my life...at the same time I miss it when its not there...how strange....why would anyone wish to wear a plastic sock on their cock....and miss the ability to stroke at will, yet want to not be able to stroke at will....the conundrum still makes no sense and yet cage wearing seems to be ever increasing in popularity.

It has gone beyond kink, although I still wish there was more of that...I wish Sarah would take advantage of my situation more.

The spark of a dominance

Its hard to write sometime, but a few things have happened recently that leads me to make some comments once again.

Sarah and I had a break from the cage for a little while, but only for a few weeks, Sarah did not actually ask me to start wearing it again but she did not hesitate to participate once I offered. These days she is making sure she hides the keys from me big time.

Sarah has been a bit stressed lately because one of our sons hair is beginning to thin out, for me I do not have much hair left at all these days but it was not really noticeable until my mid 20s, only a mother would have noticed my sons hair but she has had him around to see all sorts of specialists.

The alarming thing is that a few of the doctors are recommending propecia, some are saying he is still two young but others are saying he isn't. Now for the uneducated propecia is actually finasteride which is what I was taking myself a year ago in conjunction with andocure because I had read that it can help reduce libido. Andocure which reduces the amount of overall testosterone I found made me feel old and depressed and in some respects increased my needyness on Sarah, when I decided I could not deal with the side effects I weaned myself off and tried mixing a bit of propecia. The results were quick and devastating. Almost total elimination of sexual function. Very difficult to get an erection, no ejaculate and orgasms just were not worth it....not good...

I am trying to cut this short, after this result I ended up discontinuing both and eventually my system has returned to normal (pretty much) but not after I had done a lot of reading and discovered some real horror stories about propecia/finasteride side effects on its own. So I had some real concerns about giving such a drug to my son for hair loss.

In the end I told Sarah about my previous experience, I decided to tell her everything about what i had done (including basically chemically castrating myself and my reasons), and then proceed to tell her that before I allowed my son to take this drug that I had been taking it (by itself ie not mixed with andocur) this time to see if I suffer any ill effects, I suspected the last time I had taken the propecia the reason I had such a dramatic impact on my sexual function/ability and everything else is because of a interaction between the two drugs.

So now I have been taking propecia for 2-3 weeks.

For the first few weeks it just made me feel a little tired. But alarmingly for the last week I have not had ANY nocturnal erections. For those cage wearers out there, this might be a pretty good deal....grow your hair back and no more nightly wake up calls from the cage. What I am worried about is what comes next. Will it go to the same extent as before? Nocturnal erections are a normal part of every mans life, from my understanding it is what helps to "grow" a penis into reaching its full potential. Now interestingly if I were not wearing a cock cage I would not really KNOW just how many errections one has during the night. Normally I would be woken 4-5 separate occasions during the night. now zero, nothing, not even tight?? Just from propecia, normal dose, nothing stupid....maybe Sarah knowing about the other drug is lacing my food????(she would never do that)

Anyway the point is that I can't allow my son to take this drug knowing what the effect it is having on me? or at the very least I have to explain my experience....right now though if its JUST the loss of night time erections then thats actually good (when your wearing a cage...lol). I will keep taking it longer term to make sure nothing else happens.

hmmmm

Well the title was a spark of dominance....

Last nigh represented the 7th night of no release from the cage.

Sarah told me I was to take off the cage and massage her back, I was to wear a condom but not attempt to have sex, I was allowed to come, in fact she told me to. Then she TOLD me I was to put the cage back on in the morning, not once but made sure I knew by telling me twice. She told me that if I was lucky she might release me again tomorrow night in order to allow me to give her a orgasm but that was subject to her being in the mood. Now of course I have no need for release...so I wish she would let me have the honor of just giving her a orgasm.

Did it feel normal...I always have trouble self gratifying myself using Sarah's body when she is not in the mood , even though rubbing against Sarahs bottom is heaven, the orgasm felt normal I think...maybe not as intense but that could because Sarah was simply releasing me...I will know more when Sarah does actually get in the mood...when that will be I don't know...but I know I am craving giving her a orgasm....She does know that is what I really need....I have told her many times that I do not really need one myself but in order for me to feel complete as a man I need to give her one...., but last night she told I should orgasm for "health" reasons. At least she is thinking of me :)

I am not sure if

Actually I was just reading thumpers blog on wordpress. I really enjoy the way he writes, and I wish I could write as prolifically and as eloquently as he does. I am not sure if he realises how lucky that he is tough that his wife embraces this dynamic the way that she does. Not only that but he and his spouse actually communicate about this dynamic.

Sarah is not like that, communicating or talking about it just seems to put more pressure on her, which is probably due to the way that it ends up being brought up. I have taken to trying to discuss things retrospectively, after a release so that Sarah does not feel a pressure TOO release if you know what I mean

Fact is that a denied man DOES put a different kind of pressure on your spouse. For Sarah it means that she feels that she should give me a release, and I guess I agree with her....at times.

Yup we are still traveling along the chastity path. This cycle Sarah has released me twice for actual sex....and twice so I could release myself. And I have been well behaved thanks no doubt it part to the low dose of anti depressants I have been talking.

Make no mistake, I think drugs are necessary, I have no doubt that I have/had a sex addiction problem. Most people could not even manage the amount of masturbation I was inflicting upon myself. I have since read that excessive masturbation is a symptom of depression...so I guess I have been depressed for a long time...lol...but I did find that I increased a lot after giving up smoking.

This actually makes some sense in a weird kind of way. If anyone has ever studied Maslows hierarchy of needs then you would know that sex, food, and air.....at least for men sex is right up there on the first level of needs. One of the reasons that nicotine is so very addictive is that it stimulates the same areas of the brain that deal with satisfaction pertaining to these basic needs. One of the things that smoke quitters constanly warn of is replacing the addiction with another one.

Replacing nicotine with excessive masturbation seems harmless of course, its not like its going to give you dick cancer....though I have to admit I have increased my alcohol consumption and with it my belt size has increased somewhat as well. The trouble is with excessive masturbation though is that orgasm begets orgasm, the more you have the more you want, although it never interfered with Sarah because her drive is so much lower than mine, it still becomes a case where each stroke was equivalent to "fuck u then fuck u then". The only problem with these drugs as I said before they seem to make night time erections CHRONIC. I have been wearing this cage now 24/7 (with 12 hr releases but only 2 orgasms per release) for 2 months and the night time wakenings are no more comfortable even after taking the dremel to the forward edge of the cb6000 ring.

The idea that orgasm denial will reduce the importance of orgasm to me is probably valid, though through the last month Sarah has allowed me 2 releases for sex (which have been fucking awesum, and the last two releases have been where she has allowed me to only rub myself on her bottom while wearing a condom whilst I massage her to sleep.

The weird thing is that out of the two its the rubbing myself on her bottom that makes me tingle and fill my cage as I type this....yet the last time she allowed me that release was only 3 days ago and to be honest it left me feeling flat as a tac. I came very quickly and it was intense since it had been nearly a week since the last rub but I wanted Sarah to cum as well.

I explained this to Sarah in the morning, I get the feeling that I am going back to my old tricks and putting pressure on her to perform (as she calls it), but it seems that cumming like that is leaving me with a sense of almost depression especially since I know her period is approaching then I know I won't have the pleasure of getting Sarah off till afterward.

But this is the crux of what I have been trying to get through to Sarah is that I don't even care any more if I cum or not....I know Sarah gets a lot of pleasure out of my massages but i need to GET HER OFF in order to feel satisfied, to make me feel like a man, in order to as I told her to "feel complete"

I am really beginning to feel like getting Sarah off is a gift (ok it is), its something she allows me to do as a reward...but that sounds kind of arse backward doesn't it? I know she enjoys sex once she is aroused.....and I also knows she masturbates roughly the same amount that she allows me to pleasure her ,interesting Sarah likes to pleasure herself during the day after the evening where we have had a good session....any woman readers out there...I like to think this is because like me she likes to relive the night before.....I know enough about a woman to know if Sarah is faking pleasure, there is no mistaking her engorged swollen pussy compared to when it is flat....and its usually when Sarah has a really powerful orgasm hat she chooses to masturbate the next day, and yet I really feel that when she does share her orgasm with me ...that it truly is a gift....this must be a submissive trait, one that is mixed with rebellious feelings of ...I deserve the gift....or she owes me for all those massages....
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She is my princess thats why I keep telling myself.....I do wish these negative feelings would go away though.

Anyway I digress, last night Sarah told me that she was thnking of "being nice" to me tonight and that if I rubbed her back and she wasn't asleep in 5 minutes then she was going to indulge me....I told her that I did not want her to indulge me...that I wanted to indulge HER, anyways....Sarah went silent and seemed to go to sleep while I stayed awake and waited for the 5...then 10...hen 20....then an hour went by where Sarah seemed to toss and turn kind of nearly not asleep but enough to jolt me awake as soon as I was nearly asleep.

I am wondering though I doubt it if it will finally get through to her that I want to give her an orgasm without having one myself...since I am really beginning to hate the flat feeling I feel following a orgasm. last time we had sex Sarah let me go down on her....and omg she tastes so wonderful, I have a feeling that Sarah came without leting me know while I was down there, bu she ended up allowing me to finish off inside of her, but I think she had past her peak because she did no feel quie the same as when I was down there.....

I am hoping that tonight (she did say if not tonight tomorrow night) that she keeps the cage on me while I lick her to orgasm. I am really curious to find out if this allows me the satisfaction more than my own sexual release does.

A quicky

Just a quick one because I am really too busy to be spending time writing here, but I just became lost in some of the people that commented blogs as well as their links and ended up burning too much time.

Well to cut a long story short, I am still in the cage pretty much 24/7, I even went camping with it locked on and Sarah did not offer to remove it. And on the day before we came home Sarah informed me that she had her period, I could not help but feel a little bit bummed, not at Sarah but the fact I had been already locked for a week, and it meant that it may be at least another week before we could make love.

Although I did not ask, the night we got home, Sarah said amusingly at bed time, you must be about ready to pop...well i could not help but agree and she handed me the keys, i was implied that I was going to have to put a condom on and then I was asked to rub her back, which is fine with me, I really did feel like I was about to pop.

It did not take long for me to get hard, but as I rolled the condom on, the downward pressure through my shaft on my prostate was jus too much for me and I shot my load before I even had a chance to massage Sarah's back....dammit....I made a mental note to myself to give myself a prostate massage after 5 or 6 days so that this hair trigger response might be alleviated. Sarah was Ok because I happily massaged her to sleep, and I happily had a night of the cage with no interruptions to sleep.

I did replace the cage following my shower the next day, and the pressure was spent.

I only spent about 4 days in the cage before Sarah offered me the keys again....and again what ensued was a wonderful night of enjoyable love making.

Its been almost a week now, Sarah does not seem to be in such a good mood this week, bu then I have been slacking a bit in my duties as I have been so busy with my business, and tired as well from working hard and the wake up calls.

I can feel the pressure inside me so I guess I had better give myself a prostate massage soon in case Sarah decides its time. I would hate to be disappointing.

It still working well for us.....

Here we go again

How long since my last post? 3 weeks :)

Thank you so much for your comments, and thanks for not being negative.

Well all I can say is that Sarah was not joking about the cage play, and so far its kinda nice to be back in the saddle so to speak.

About 5 months ago I went to see a councilor regarding my stress levels, actually the main motivation at the time was to document the fact that I was suffering with stress if I was to make a claim on my previous employee, but as it turned out it was beneficial for other reasons. The first and foremost was that of course I actually really was suffering from stress and was borderline depression. My body was beginning to hurt from tensed up muscles and I was beginning to have trouble sleeping.

So she prescribed me a weak anti depressant, I forget what they are called, but she prescribed me 5 months of them...I was not too keen on anything that relates to cerebral function but she assured me that they would be fine and would help me sleep so long as I took them before bed.

So I took one that night and I woke feeling a little sleepy, but WOW!!! my sore muscles and pains had gone, magic pill, so I did no take any more.....more on this later

One of the other things we spoke about is Sarah, and after a few minutes of discussion my councilor simply said...."I will sorry for you....she is a passive aggressive" , wtf....so she went on to describe passive aggressive behavior to me...and...soooo many green lights went on in my head...but then I asked her....so Ok how do you best deal with a passive aggressive person....she says...."well you don't"...well I was thinking that sure helps doesn't it.....but it actually does because it helps you to understand why someone does what they do.

Anyways I digress..I might cover passive aggressive behavior another time

Fast forward to now, 3 weeks from my last post, well I still have 2 fully functioning orbs between my legs, but the truth is they have not been able to do much.

I have been pretty much wearing the cage 24/7 for 3 weeks and so far I have been pretty good. I read on a another forum that SSRI inhibitors (aka anti depressants) can also have a libido reduction effect, but the ones that my doctor prescribed me are the only ones that are not meant to have any impact on sex drive (but they are in the same family) and in fact can in some cases enhance it because people who are stressed do not feel like sex. So I decided to see if just taking half a pill a day would have any impact on my libido as compared to my ability to have sex.

The answer is yes it does have a impact on my libido, or rather it seems to have given me a greater level of control over my sex drive. When we were coming up for my first release after I had been locked up for a week, by that time normally I would be climbing the walls...hey I knew I was "full" but when Sarah asked me if it would be ok if we waited till the next night I had absolutely no problem.

Unfortunately there is no effect on nocturnal hardons and indeed the increase in serotonin from the SSRI seems to contribute to dreaming and if anything increases them. For the novice user this would probably be a problem but at least now I have developed a method getting rid of my hardon quickly enough so that it does not impact my sleep too much. But they are relentless.

I do feel so much more at ease with my sex drive though and apart from it being a bit hard to wake up in the morning I don't see any other side effects so far. It has occurred to me that if this is the case then perhaps I have no further need for the cage and in fact the kink aspect of it has dissipated somewhat after all I have been using it for nearly 3 years off and on (so to speak), I am inclined to persist even if it is because it means that Sarah HAS to give it some mind share...which is the part that she does not like.

But this time I am being very well behaved, and for the moment Sarah is encouraging me to continue being caged by religiously hiding the key following a release.

In fact the weekend just gone, Sarah said to me on friday night that she would be letting me out of the cage ...soon...even though I had made no mention of it, but I did begin to expect it on Saturday night...then when Saturday night came and she told me that she has "better" let me out ...and I returned, no you don't have to until you want to, but ...if she liked she could let me out while I gave her a nice backrub while wearing a condom (aka intercourse being optional but I would empty myself because I WAS full, Sarah knows I can easily orgasm while giving her a backrub with no actual penetration) and I promised to put the cage straight back on the next day....to which I was presented with the keys on the understanding that Sarah was intending to sleep...and I was to put it back on in the morning regardless of what happened that night.

So I began, you can't imagine until you have been caged for more than a week the sensations even through a condom that you feel when it is rubbed up against the soft flesh of the one that you love, brushing up against her fantastic rear. I kid you not I had a hard time not blowing my load in the first 30 seconds of release....yet I did not want it to finish so quickly and I was still a bit hopeful that Sarah might change her mind especially after she commented that she had woken up a bit, I needed to know if I was allowed to let go so she cold go to sleep or if I should hold on to it in case Sarah wanted to make love, Sarah answered by lifting her leg and allowing me to rub my engorged cock from behind over the top of her soft swollen and now wet pussy. Now I know when Sarah is aroused, because as any sensitive man knows there is a stark contrast between a pussy that is flat and a pussy that is pumped up and engorged, but she would not put me "in", I was determined not to direct myself in and it seemed for a long time that Sarah was intent on teasing the living crap out of me by only allowing me to stay on the outside. That said I was on the edge of orgasm as it was and I was loving every instant of it but I was beginning to wonder if I was going to be allowed in at all.

Then I actually started feeling comfortable with that thought in that I was just happy that it seemed Sarah was really enjoying herself, however when I did feel her climbing closer I backed off a little just to extend it, then I began to wonder if I was doing this for me or for her because obviously once Sarah came I was not going to be welcomed in (Sarah would not stop me if I wanted to but the whole point of this is not to do the penetration thing unless I was invited), in the end I decided that I would try and bring Sarah to her climax and then if necessary I would finish myself with my had rather than penetrate her, but it was with I must say some relief then Sarah did eventually guide me into her warm interior where she promptly came as did I and I must say the intensity of it left me with the feeling of a need for a crowbar to uncurl my toes!!

In the morning I did submit to one self indulgent rigorous cleaning to ensure I was suitably cleaned out and to relive the night before. When I checked Sarah had put the keys away in safe keeping and we know what that means. I was tempted to leave it off for another night because I wanted to sleep through the night again, alas came the evening I felt that I could not trust myself and before I knew it I had locked it back on and once more I am in Sarah's hands.

I don't know where this is going but then who does. I read a interesting note from digger the other day, it was so well articulated, there are so many people who write for better than I do. But he did articulate why that cage play will probably never work in some relationships. I agree wholeheartedly with what he said, yet strangely although Sarah is NEVER going to be a femdom wielding strapon goddess dressed in leather, this however does seem to have some level of workability for us right now.

I do know though that if I screw up this time its over for good. And Sarah is just as likely to wake up tomorrow and for no reason tell me to throw it out for good.

anyways I no longer get paid for writing here so I had better go do some work...

Vent time

Twice in 2 weeks after so long....

Well Sarah and I had a pretty hurtful discussion the other night....and I thought I would put it down here...lucky I don't get any comments because I am pretty sure you would just tell me I am mad, and I know that already so if thats all you have to say then don't bother.

I try not (and for the most part succeed) to bother Sarah for sex for at least a weekly time out, but once the week is up its like a timer goes off in my head and after that time I am pretty relentless until she gives in. The funny thing is when she does decide to "try" for the most part once she gets into it she enjoys it, but for her the effort is not worth the end, and so she keeps reminding me that she only really has sex for me....

Anyway over the weekend we had some friends over and yes I probably drank too much so I probably was not the most desirable person on the block, but yes I had a tantrum because I was turned down for the 3rd straight night (making it night 10 or so), I think I probably said something about seeing a professional...or something else nasty before I stalked out and headed down to the couch. I am never violent, I can sometimes crap on about how hardly done by I am or threaten to have sex with someone else but after that I will head off to seclusion rather than stand and fight to the death...still its damaging and I know it, and it doesn't help...just can't help it.

Anyway the next night Sarah, our anger had dissipated somewhat (I had apologized for my behavior in the morning), and I felt well enough and....I could not really help myself by asking as I gave her a hug, "I am not sure what your going to do with me" and Sarah kind of caught me off guard by saying, "Castration comes to mind....actually I have been thinking about that a lot lately"......now in a negative reality inversion kind of way that kind of excited me...and as you probably guessed from my dablings in chemical reduction in libido(and I did reach castration levels anyway) actual castration had crossed my mind as well....and so I told her that castration had crossed my mind as well as I am sick of my sex drive...she then says "why don't you look into it then?" All this time my hard cock in cased in a condom is rubbing up and down....I said, "u would really actually want me to do that would u"....."oh yes I would".....

hmmmm

Remembering a lot of what Sarah says at any given time is whatever happens to be going on in her head at the present. I know if I was actually serious about cutting my balls off she would never allow me to do it.... I did say though that I did not blame her for wanting to cut them off sometimes...she said well they have caused a lot of trouble through our marriage...the sad thing is I know its true......but actual physical castration while might be ok to kind of joke about...even semi serious like...it not practically possible for a variety of health reasons...I would never do it, nor would Sarah actually really mean it....other then in principle....I then said" but what would you do when you did want sex" ...she said that she never does, I said but that isn't true because I know you do it yourself sometimes....

Sarah vehemently denied this as she always does...which I know is a lie...I know without a shadow of a doubt because I put little pen dots on her dong...damm I even know how deep she puts it in...actually I don't look any more because I found that I would rather not know when she does, while its good masturbation material (ie the thought of it) the fact that she does and lets me have sex so infrequently I found really pissed me off...so I don't really want to know how often any more..and it was never very often...about as often as we had sex....but I can't help checking occasionally....I did not challenger her then regarding this fib.

Anyway I said to her "in the mean time you will just have to put up with me"....."and why do u think I was so persistent with the cage, because eventually me not being able to use it I have read will help me loose it" as in some of my sex drive. I went on to say that it was up to her to "train me to go without, and that it was Ok to let me out sometimes as a reward but just to let me do i myself we did not HAVE to have sex every time she let me out".....Sarah said "why don't u go and put it on right now then".....that figures I guess she was still pissed at me alright...she also said...."but after I week I feel like I should let you out for sex so whats the point and I don't EVER feel like letting you out. In fact I have not felt like having sex since before I had children!!...I just do it for you"....

well I did not like the way this conversation was going now...and that reallly hurt.....and things just went quiet....and even my cock was not all that interested any more....before sarah said ....basically, and because of last night you are only allowed to rub on me tonight...(meaning no penetration).....and so not completely pissed off with me....so I asked her is i was allowed to come....she said only after I massaged her to sleep...

But then the trouble is as I rubbed her back...what she had said about not ever wanting sex since before our kids really started to shit me....especially since I know she uses her dong from time to time....the more i thought about it the more I got wound up to the point where I felt I had to say something to let her know I knew she was lying. But at the same time I did not want to wake her because that would be a fate worse than death... I could not keep rubbing her back because I was just too wound up about it, I felt like I was going to explode so as I moved away she actually said something, which i did not hear, so I asked her to repeat, I can't remember what it was but I then took the opportunity and stated that I knew she still had that dong in her wardrobe and where it is and that I also knew she used it from time to time and that she was a fibber.

Well she did not have much to say to that, and we still have not really spoken since. I probably deserve a telling off because its a invasion of personal space but nor should she blatantly lie to me about having zero sex drive. The only interpretation I can make is that....she has not felt like having sex WITH ME since before our kids....which scaths and burns like a hot knife...but she does know I know, I don't know if thats a good thing or not...maybe she will make more of a effort, but more than likely she will work out some self justification and never say another word about it. She never even asked how I knew, probably frightened that my answer would be un arguable,well she is right there. But guilting someone into sex NEVER works....so I feel like I am a idiot...because I guess that is what I was trying to do. I guess I feel like I only have 10 years of good sexual function left...and I just feel time racing by so fast...I feel trapped...yet I love Sarah...I love her too much to let her go over sex, but lack of it makes things very unhappy, for the both of us....I still wish I could just switch it off.

Next morning I was tempted to throw the packet of androcur on the bed in the morning as say "look I have tried castration already....SEE AT LEAST I HAVE TRIED!!!" but I didn't....I doubt she would call me crazy, she would probably understand my motivation, maybe even applaud the attempt, but in the end it would just add to her guilt...it was not workable and my body is almost back to normal so what sthe point in telling her other than to score a point. If she DID bring it up again I may be tempted to tell her...but only in a way that did not make her feel guilty.

I must admit I have been terribly depressed since this exchange though, i feel like our marriage may as well be over, and its all over sex...well and intimacy.

I am thinking I need to take myself off to see a sex councilor or something, one to get control of myself...maybe Sarah needs to go...but she never would.

I don't even know if I am being unreasonable ...I am a nice person generally....kinky and horny yes but...I do all the right things. I never rip people off, I love animals and will even catch a spider and throw it out into the wild rather than kill it. I give Sarah back massages most nights and make her coffees in the morning, bring her hot chocolates at night. I work hard, I clean up the kitchen, cook dinner at least 1-2 sometimes 3 nights per week I am only a little bit over weight and I know I am not ugly....so is asking for sex once a week too much (3 times per month)? Sarah is not really into restaurants and I get in trouble for flowers, does not like chocolates, or weekends away (not that we could)....

what a ramble this post is...

I wonder if she will do the cage training though. Funny thing at the moment though is my sex drive really is in overdrive...I wear the cage during the day and I can generally back myself off to one orgasm per day but I find I reallllly need that one, I am not sure how I would go if Sarah really did mange my orgasms.

I somehow doubt it .....the problem is that when sarah does manage my key for me....its like I become so focused on her, but nothing changes for her, she just ignores me like normal...so wearing the cage becomes unbearable...the chatter in my mind after a few days convinces me that there is no point to this exercise because it really only causes me to suffer orgasm withdrawal and it is of no benefit to Sarah anyway...so I may as well just flog myself off to my hearts content. If Sarah could only show some extra attention during cage time I actually think it could work...I could be trained to go without for long periods....even a good flogging would be a good sex substitute, but Sarah is not interested in substitutes, any extra work involved for her is not worth doing....even if SHE gets lots of benefits in the form of LONG massages etc.

Maybe she would be interested in this devious device:

http://dreamloverlabs.com/products.php

It delivers a variety of shocks to electrodes placed inside of a CB device via remote control.

I am still here

I just have not had time to post anything. Not that there is much to post about.

I am still one totally fucked up sexual human being.

Time goes too fast, in the last 4 months I have lost my job, thankfully the business I was running on the side has kept me out of trouble for now but things are getting quiet now. being self employed has its perks....like not having a boss but I have ended up working a LOT harder for not a lot of money. So i have been really to busy to post on here, plus from a kink perspective there really isn't any

Anyways on the home front all is well. Sarah is completely off the cage play, but it seems as though from a female led perspective we seems to be falling into a natural rhythm. I treat her like a princess and she orders me around....most of the time. Occasionally I will be a bit cheeky, but thats her fault because she lets me get away with it.

One of my favorite activities is rubbing her back in the mornings while I have a massive woody. although I am not permitted penetration in the mornings, nor am I allowed to give her a climax in any other way, what she does love is back massages, and whats even better is she will allow me to rub have my wicked way with her soft bottom, so long as I don't try and put it in any holes. I will then ask her if I am allowed to "let it go" and Sarah will either tell me to save it or "let it go", this is normally after about 30 minutes of intimate back rubbing, and letting me stay on edge. Strangely I do not find this frustrating, just adds to the pleasure of giving the back rub. It seems to work for us, and its a soft form of orgasm denial I guess...or thats what I tell myself. I still fantasize constantly about her taking control of my privates, denying me orgasm and using me for her own pleasure only...oh and discipline as well...but alas thats not realistic. One thing Sarah actually woke for sex one night which is the first time in years and I actually had the privilege of eating her...omg its been so long I had forgotten how good she tastes, I was tempted to lick her to orgasm and not have one myself but she has told me before she prefers to cum with me inside her....but ohhh that memory has been replayed many many times....I have a vivid memory and I will never wear the memory of that night out!!

I still have a significant sex drive problem though, and when I say significant I mean it. I have tried to find a definition of a orgasm addict, or sex addiction..bla bla, but apart from some claims that over masturbation can kill you I have found nothing that says its harmful so long as it does not interfere with your relationship or everyday life then its ok....and it really doesn't, I just like to wank....a lot. But to give u an idea, for one reason or another I had a day in bed recently suffering from a bit of a hangover and I think I managed about 14 orgasms before I decided enough was enough and got out of bed at lunch time....yup 14...and everyone of them was good.

So alas even though Sarah is not into the cage any more I actually wear it during the day of my own volition. I work by myself most of the time and ...well if it were not for the cage temptation and the net and porn would get the better of me, and I would waste too much time. I must admit though I have tried to pick the lock a few times.....and once on a 3 or four day lock down of my own volition I managed to shake it to a piss poor disappointing squirt, which just served to tell me whats the point?

I do wish there was a way though of tempering this drive I have, it does occupy too much of my mind. I am even tempted but not realistically so these days of paying a professional domme just to find out what its like to be taken with a strappon.

I don't really want to do the anti libido stuff again but I am tempted to see if something can be done about my over active libido. I asked my doctor about it and he said nope...I did not admit to my frequency of masturbation...or other kink ideas, I doubt he would believe me. All he said was for people your age having sex 2-3 times a month is normal….well fuck that….I would like it twice in the morning and 3 times at night time….and at lunch time as well…not realistic but hey dreams are free
Not really a good match with Sarah who would probably be happy at zero….no I think once per month is about her desire…I have to really press for my 3 times per month which I am really not happy about, but I have managed to get to the point where I really only ask for actual sex once per week and apart from the occasional childish tantrum if she says no I am in reasonable unhappy control.
Bla anyway told u there is not much to say, no budding femdom. I actually leave the keys to my cock cage on my bedside table every day, making sure they move about everyday in case Sarah has a change of heart as she does know I wear it sometimes even though she does not really approve, well its not that, she said she does not want me suffering…..aka does not want to feel like she owes me anything….actually, that is my fault I know….fact is I am a orgasm addict and not cut out for long term orgasm denial…anyway it’s a good fantasy to hold on to, alas the keys are always still there when I get home, but truth be known I don’t know what I would do with they weren’t, I am not sleeping with it on these days so if she did take it it would be a interesting shock. What I AM doing is trying to train myself to get used to having fewer orgasms….but its not the same as giving up smoking….cold turkey does not work.
Try and write again if anything interesting does happen….

Changes

Have not posted for ages, actually I tried the other day but I just ran out of time. Been so very busy lately, went on a long holiday as well and since we have been back......

I have been doing some reading, and again I have to thank Ms Rika, because a lite again has come on.

Sarah always senses when I expect a reward, and in doing this Sarah feels like she owes me something, and Sarah really HATES feeling like she owes anyone anything.

So My mistake has been giving Sarah the impression that she OWES me for keeping me locked up, when in fact she is doing me a favor. After it is me who wants it, and it is me that enjoys pampering her once I fall into that delicious Subspace. But for me subspace only lasts for so long before it manifests into me feeling like Sarah OWES me, and she Sarah feels it...and Sarah stops ...or stopped enjoying it.

So how can I recover from this disaster??

We basically I have to accept that all this submissive stuff is in MY head not Sarah's and that any indulgent on her part is a favor to me. If she holds my keys then it is a TREAT, and not something she will owe me for later!!! My previous behavious have only served to damage what was beginning to germinate as a dominant Sarah.

So I have approached her again...but this time I told her that I am doing it for me...and aksed if she could just supervise the key, not hide it....then it is ME that is providing the self control in not using it....and not her enforcing it, I have suggested that I wear it from Sunday night till Friday night, and if she keys are still out then I will remove it, but if she chooses to hide them then that is her prerogative...Sarah seems fine with this so far, but then she has not hidden them or taken them either...

Its funny though almost immediately following this discussion, even though it was not going on for a few days yet, Sarah because to issue orders again...and I felt I already had my cock locked up, and on the Saturday night we had some delicious intimacy such that I could not wait to get my cock in its cage Sunday night.

As the week has progressed though, Sarah seems to be avoiding leting me do anything extra" for her, and so in respect of this I am just taking it easy and treading softly, that said this morning we were woken an hour earlier than usual and I massaged her for a full hour, until i think she had had enough..lol...

Well we will see how it goes, i know its not really correct to connect this behavior with the cage but it seems to work for me.

Giving up orgasms though is kind of like smoking, Smokers call their addiction a nicotine "chatter", that bends your mind and trys to convince u to have a smoke.

For me having no orgasms is like that, the longer I go the louder the chatter, justifying the need for release, convincing me that I deserve a release, and convincing me that Sarah OWES me a release. It has been my inability to hand this in the past that has been my failure.

I gave up smoking, and I silenced the chatter, (yep I found that masturbating helped with nicotine cravings...lol...definitely increased frequency and ability following quiting)

Early days yet but I am hoping I can silence this chatter too, or at least put it in a cage till it grows smaller and more manageable. Maybe let Sarahs voice be that voice that calls me to action.

Have to Take it easy...and let Sarah like this mindset once again. At least if I get really desperate I can use the key and maybe head things off if I really have to, dropping from sometimes as many as 6 sometimes 8 orgasms per day to zero is a tough call.

Lol maybe this blog should be entitled, "A sexual deviates fight with orgasm addition and how this fits into a vanilla marriage" Still at least my orgasm addiction is fixated on either my hand or my wife..

*****EDIT****** I just read Subservier's journey latest entry, and I have to agree with everything he said, perhaps if I am lucky I will find some middle ground, but pressuring is definitely not the way. I guess in some respects I am by harping on about the cage, and yet Sarah has told me point blank she likes it, then point blank for me to get rid of it, both totally opposites. I think in my case Sarah tends to talk in absolutes, I behaved badly at the end of the last session which was a stupid mistake and so Sarah painted the whole experience bad. So this experience had better be good, or its over for good.

But the dream of Sarah actually DOMINATING me even half way to what Elise Sutton advocates is never going to happen, and nor would I really want her to...not really into cuckholding anyway even if for some reason I love reading about it, I could never handle a reality like that.

There are aspects I could handle and enjoy for sure, but Sarah would never ever do it. It is just as Subservier says ...a fantasy. At least for Subservier you DID get to experience it for a time, I guess I do in some ways as Sarah goes hot and cold about the cage but I think it is me that makes it into a domination thing, that said Sarah has said somethings in the past that are unmistakably along the dominating path "you don't decide what to do I do" quote when I asked her if I could go down on her...lol

Subservier I think that you are lucky in some respects that your wife had a libido sufficient to indulge your fetish to the extent that she did, my use of the anti sex device is a different experience but one born from lack of Sarahs libido, now if Sarah DID have a libido then I think it would be verrry interesting..lol

But getting back to what you said, I end up being a selfish submissive as well, I want to be submissive and I ALSO want to be rewarded for it. And why should Sarah reward me for something that she is already rewarding me by indulging me.

I hope you find some middle ground eventually, I know how these feelings and cravings never go away.

I am amazed at how much I craved and how much I missed wearing the cage, so bazaar since I also miss satisfying myself now I am wearing it ....I can't, and I hate not being able to cum...

Looking forward to friday....Sarah not hidden them so unless she does it comes off for the weekend :d LOL Imagine my face if she decided to hide them on friday....now that will rock my little world

Then I have to focus on not pestering her for sex....and certainly not because I have been wearing the cage all week.

I am hoping that I can find some middle ground as well, but the dream needs a reality check, and there are I agree some aspects of the dream that should they be real....I would want it to stop pretty quick....

Eyes opening

First of all I want to thank Ms Rika for the time that was taken in her very thoughtful and informative comment to my last entry. In fact I decided it was so well articulated I hope that Ms Rika does not mind that I reproduce it here:

This is an area on which I've done a lot of research, counseling, and writing. Making D/s or FLR work for the long term in an existing relationship requires a lot of work and communication. Most men realize this, but think that their communication efforts should be focused on teaching their wives how to be dominant. I'm here to tell you that's a sorely misguided focus!

What these men fail to understand (at first), is that their inner need to submit and serve their partners is a psychological need, more than a physiological one. It's not what you do, it's WHY you do it! The desire to serve a woman can be satisfied in many, many ways. The kinky games and plastic devices are not real - they're playtime; scene-based - and therefore can only address the surface of the desire...the real satisfaction comes from the emotional connection and commitment to the D/s dynamic. This dynamic has to be natural to both partners or it cannot last for any real length of time.

Consider what "service" means. Who is serving whom? If you're submissive, your primary focus should be on serving your dominant partner...right? Do you think your wife is best served by her having to learn to want something new? Or do you think it will be better served if you were to learn what she wants...and then deliver it? Furthermore, do you think it will be easier for her to ACCEPT your service, if the service provides something she naturally wants, considers 'normal', and honestly enjoys?

Men too often approach their wives with predetermined views of what domiannce is; how an FLR operates, how the woman acts; what she wants, and what he does. His demands are usually presented as a list of things she can do TO him...very seldom are these things really FOR her. Afterall, it's something he's been focused on for a long time. He's done a lot of research on the subject: read a lot of books, followed a lot of blogs, seen a lot of videos. He's got is PhD in the 'submissive arts'! Of course he's an expert on the subject..So he wonders: if only she'd take the time to learn what it is that I know she wants! Why won't she learn to dominate me correctly??? Why doesn't she see the enormous benefit to having me as her slave?

There are real, practical, workable ways to overcome this problem. You are definitely NOT breaking new ground. However, the first step in defining your unique service to your unique wife is to divorce yourself of the standard-fare, male-centric fantasy you've studied all these years and figure out what she really wants! Then you need to communicate your intent to serve her and gain her agreement to accept your service. She needs to step up to the plate as well, as she needs to commit to accept your service from a position of dominance. Once you've achieved this agreement, she will recognize the benefit of your service and you can begin to recognize satisfaction in service in ways you never thought possible!

This is a long, long subject - in fact I've literally written a book about it! In a VERY Short space, I've tried to break the ice with you...I don't know if you'll simply dismiss it or take it seriously. I recommend you check out my site (www.msrika.com) and join my forum...and even consider my book!
- Rika.

You do indeed know your topic well, and I have done and am guilty of all those things. This is a very very complicated topic and I have asked myself those very same questions time and time again. It is not a simple matter to simply submit in all aspects of ones life and this is what can make the path precarious at times. The temptation to convey how you feel, or what you think you deserve for service is tempting at times, whats more the dynamic of FLR can change dependent on environmental influences. Things change in family life and it requires at times a shift of the FLR dynamic to and from submission and even dominance. Sarah wants and needs this from me at times.

But if we average things out, the focus is always on what it is that makes Sarah happy. Even before I became intrigued by the more materialistic aspects of FLR.

I am sure you will gain many a chuckle on the PHD in submissive arts comment, it is so true, if only I had paid so much attention during class, I would perhaps be making some more money!!

BTW I am already a member of your forum and we have spoken previously (some time ago) although I can't remember under which alias. But your advice back then was as equally valuable.

I take completely what you have said on board and thank you once again for your comments.

That plate is a challenge though, I am not sure if she wants to step up to it.

I will definitely be looking at your book

The end of the cage

First of all, GREAT to hear from you Helpmate, I was so sorry to see your blog go private, if you are still updating it I would love to read what you have been up to.

Thanks for your comments, they are taken on board. I am so consciouses of my deteriorating fitness not its very near time for action. I am helping out at training for one of my sons once a week, its start, much running around, but I need more. I have cut down on my drinking (with the exception of this weekend just gone...went away with some other families), and do feel a bit better for it.

As for the cage, it seems this is dead and buried, I asked Sarah before a session of passion a few nights ago if she wanted the keys again, nope, does not want them and then proceeds to tell me she does not like the cage and never has....well so much for that then.

I could delude myself and tell myself she is fibbing and there is certainly a lot of evidence to support that theory, at some point she has been fibbing because she had told me previously that she liked me wearing it. Sarah does this though, she says whatever is in her head CURRENTLY, and does not average her thoughts out, I am not sure if you know what I mean, she won't look at things holistically but rather takes a snapshot, in other words, at that point in time Sarah did not like the cage and has never liked it. This is of course subject to change.

So I will be keeping it and not throwing it out as I suggested the other night ( I asked her if she thought then if I should get rid of it...which she issued an affirmative but not positively) but I won't be asking if she wants the keys for a good few months.

I think its time for a complete break from these thoughts, give Sarah a break as well. There is time enough and judging by many of the blogs and other resources on the web it appears that this kind of thinking and lifestyle matures with age. Sarah does not have the time to spend thinking about this stuff at this time in her life, I know many women do make time for this but not Sarah, this just makes her a more dedicated mum perhaps.

The other thing if I am to approach the cage again is to present it to her such that she is doing it for me, my mistake has been presenting it such that I am doing it for her (and us). I think the truth of it is that perhaps I am deluding myself into thinking I am doing it for us? I am not sure.

Trouble is there is too much evidence that it helps our relationship, but one thing that is important in a FLR is acknowledgment and Sarah struggles with this I think. Sarah can't acknowledge the cage and FLR because she has a barrier against it, it makes her a mean cock teaser and sadistic wife, this is in conflict with how she views herself which is as a supportive wife and fantastic mum. Of course she is those things as well, and she can be those things AND lock my cock up and lead my marital life as well, but I don't think Sarah sees it that way.

So much of this blog has been about the cage, and so it seems like my whole erotic fantasy revolves around this little plastic device. Probably the reason is that its the ONLY thing I have EVER done that has managed to stimulate Sarah into intimacy and FLR if only a little bit. The cage does put me in a submissive state and Sarah HAS demonstrated dominant FL tendencies, more so when I am wearing it, it DOES give her power, and she does seem to relinquish this power when the cage comes off. To put an end to it does seem sad and does seem to be an end to pursuing the more interesting aspects of a FLR.

That said, its weird, the cage experience has been good for both of us, even though Sarah does not want me wearing it, Sarah seems happier and we do seem closer than we have been for years. Perhaps the cage has simply served its purpose and it is time to move on.

This is also worth considering.

Ii am not sure if Sarah will ever participate in O/D or tease and denial, strap on play or some of the other more explicit forms of fem domination. I wish she would if only to experience what it is like, I don't even know if I would like it, though I think I would....

Sarah won't ever know because she may never entertain the thought long enough to give it its due consideration.

But does it really matter?

As long as we are close then it should not matter.

But I can't help craving for more, I need to be wary of falling into the same trap others have and end up pushing too hard and destroying the gains we have made.

True FLR is when one simply does what the woman wants, puts her needs and wants first, I have ALWAYS tried to do this anyway, ever since we met, but with one caveat, I want and need sex and more recently and more importantly intimacy, and if I don't get it then fuck you, blunt I know, sad but probably true. That said about sex&intimacy, I ALWAYS put Sarah first when it comes to sex, AS LONG AS WE HAVE SOME, ...whatever form of intimacy it may be!!

I know I am too wrapped up in the kinkier aspects of FLR, but the dynamo that drives us men is after all our libido which is entwined with love for our spouses and so things that turn us on ARE some of the more attractive components of a FLR.

Sarah like so many women like to cherry pick the aspects of FLR that appeal to them, and a true man in a FLR should be happy for this to occur. But this is not what DROVE a man into this place in the first place, its in most cases kinky thoughts of a woman making him into a sex slave.

And again it all ends up being about sex.

But can a man survive in a FLR without ANY of those cherries he craved in the first place....I think not.

Simply put it takes two to tango, You can't have a FLR unless the female is prepared to lead AND offer up some of the other fruits on the trees. It may as well be vanilla

And so we are nearly vanilla again, but the craving is a hard fire to extinguish, and I do wonder how long I can keep it at bay.

I am trying to maintain some of the aspects of FLR, on a maintenance basis. It will be interesting to see if Sarah leads it anywhere over the next few months.

Thanks :)

Hey, thanks for all your comments. Way too busy to even to my normal rounds of the blogs presently. But it is so nice to hear that I am being read and understood.

Work is not going so well presently and I need to focus completely. I believe I have recognized depression in myself in that I am presently seeing the negative side of everything. Kind of like a dark cloud over me. I am unsure if this is as a result of my previous trials, i doubt it really, its been several months now, although I am maintaining the hair one just because it seems to work, and it is well known and approved in so many countries.

I am ensuring that I maintain many of the intimate aspects of a FLM in Sarah intimate massage in the morning, although nights are harder, the cage DOES drive one and DOES motivate one to be attentive at ALL times, alas I am making a effort. I believe Sarah is even hinting presently that she would like ti back on but I am not nibbling till she makes it clearer, in any case because of the present situation I would feel like a idiot if I was wearing a cage and I was fired, feeling dickless enough as it is.

I so wish I could tell them to all go and get knotted, but I am sure there are so many like me...lol, but I just can't, playing with my kids this weekend, so much responsibility, so many mouths to feed/pay for and look after.

I do not think it is close to that happening though just yet, but I do need to focus on my job as I have been distracted by my other money making sideline activities recently, unfortunately those other activities are not enough to sustain, just good pocket money.

I think I have to cut down on my alcohol consumption as I think it is contributing although I never drink during the day, but a half bottle normally and a full bottle some nights I think is taking its toll on my mood, and if my job suffers I am sure so will my marriage ultimately. I am also missing my daily trips to the gym, and because of my lack of exercise I have put on quite amount of weight, but its like if I go to the gym it costs me $200/day because of lost revenue (sideline), so i just can't do it and I can't fit it in any other time of day. If I can keep it up for another year I can make a big dent in finances even if it means I am starting to resemble homer.

Just too busy

Just too busy to write right now.

Just a comment on divorce, I am pretty sure that comment was said tongue in cheek, otherwise I think you deserve a good swat on your butt from your mistress for so quickly drawing that conclusion...lol

Cage play is dead and buried for now.

Sarah did not find it much of a turn on when she released me again and I had to keep pausing in order to control myself, then the following night when it was promised and denied I was frustrated and well basically I fucked up.

So we are vanilla again, so vanilla its boring, but because I am so busy right now, and so is Sarah , it is probably appropriate.

I am sure our dabbling in this lifestyle are not finished, not by a long shot. I know there are still elements of this that interest Sarah. I can't see her ever embracing it completely, but then like so many frustrated wanna be submissives, I am not sure I am cut out for it anyway. Whenever I start getting what I want I find flaw with it and end up frustrated.

While its true that I would like Sarah to consider my needs more so, is it fair to make these demands on her when she has such a large compliment of children to cater for as well. In a ideal world yep for sure.

No marriage is perfect.

I need to give these thought processes a rest for a while, and I am enjoying my freedom. The frequency of backrubs for Sarah are diminishing and so is her feeling of obligation to put out, lol.

I actually asked the doctor the other day about my/her libido, and if it were possible to reduce a mans libido. He told me no to mine, and said that there was a female hormone replacement that could enhance Sarah's, then when we traveled on to the frequency and I told him that Sarah and I had decent sex about 3 times a month he told me that was completely normal for people our age.

I know there are some of my readers that would kill for decent sex 3 times a month, so I should think myself extremely lucky, and I do for the most part.

But like all humans I guess and I am human, I just want more, not more sex though (although I would not complain!!) or even orgasms, more intimate play that includes more than me rubbing her back for hours on end with no feedback or movement other than a indication that she has gone to sleep by her snoring. I want to be able to share my innermost fantasies, even if they are demented in some cases, and not be judged, it would be nice to engage in any form of actual play than included interaction , one way play is not much fun.

Just that Sarah wants more of different things...do tell..intimacy is not high on her priority list....lol

But still, I am luckier than some and some would say I am a greedy bastard!

Can't see myself posting again for a while, but last time I said that my cage was back on the following week lol.

I do wonder why it was so bloody sensitive these few sessions though, could it be because I was using the tighter ring? I should have used some numbing condoms the second time....but I doubt it would have made much difference, the need to ejaculate feeling did not come from feeling in my penis it was more the pressure from deep within me, almost like my prostate was being pressed on by the base of my cock.

btw since uncaging everything as far as THAT goes has returned completely to normal, with the exception that I have been simply too busy to please myself as often

Blowing on the latent dominant embers

The thing about developing a new dynamic in your relationship is the time scale is so long, and there are ups and there are downs.

Sarah did release me a week or so again, but it was all wrong, she released me because it had been about a week, and I knew she was not in the mood. I even told her I did not want her to release me because I knew she was not in the mood, even though I desperately needed a release.

In hindsight what I should have done is asked for a 30 second hand job, but Sarah was fairly insistent on giving it a go. But we did have a discussion about the cage, you see there are other stresses on us right now and I am not really sure if cage play is a good thing when there are too many other things going on in your life. I said to Sarah that it was not fair on her because I DO become more emotionally demanding on her, I do seek more attention from her, despite the benefits to her, which there is a disproportionate amount, there ARE additional, well different pressures placed on her. I suggested we might be better to leave the cage play again, this was the second time in as many weeks I had this discussion, but after the conversation when Sarah gave the keys, I handed them back to her saying, these are offered, but u do not need to take them. Sarah took them back.

The thing about Sarah is that she does not like foreplay, thats right fokes, most guys get in trouble for NOT enough foreplay, well Sarah will not let me anywhere near her pussy with my hands or mouth. The only thing I am allowed to rub her pussy with to get her in the mood is my hard penis, and sometimes because of the lack of tactile input on sarahs part that can be a real challenge. Of course after a week, or nearly a month now of continuous (save for the day release) getting hard once out of the cage is not really a issue.

This time I did not have any viagra, and truth is there was no need for it. I donned a non-latex condom. These are made from polyurethane and are far far better than latex condoms because they conduct HEAT. The problem is they are a bit too good...lol...Sarah did try hard to get her motor going, but the trouble is I was so hypertensive, and no matter how hard I tried to maintain control, I lost it, I tried to pull away but it was too late, I felt the climax coming and it just would not stop. I was so embarrassed, I had to tell Sarah because I knew I was not going to maintain my erection for long. Sarah was very good about it but I was really hard on myself, I was really upset. I suspect that in some respects Sarah was relieved because I don't think, although I will never know if she was going to manage to fireup, but alas I blew it..literally. I told Sarah I will have to invest in some desensitizing condoms....or at least I made a mental note to use a latex one next time!!

On waking up and showering I noticed that the keys were out of sight, so She had hidden them, which means a lock up for me again. I could not help thinking about our failed session though. I really hated myself for cumming before Sarah. I mean I offered to go down on her, or do anything for her, but I knew the answer to that before I even asked the question.

That evening after I had had my day of freedom, I was not quite so active, after wearing for 3 weeks one does not really feel quite so overly charged so the number of times I took advantage of my day release was only 3 or four times, less than half that of the previous release. In any case that night I took a hot drink to Sarah in bed, I noticed the keys sitting in her bedside draw that was open. I was annoyed yet I realized that at least she had put them out of immediate sight, the following morning they were gone.

Fast forward a week of endless massages and Sarah has developed a fetish for foot rubs as well. There has been a few instances of dominant titillation but nothing to write home about until last night.

In short I told Sarah that her pleasure was far more important than my own.
I gave Sarah the keyholders guide to chastity book, which I do not think she has opened.
In cleaning up I accidentally on purpose left a copy of "around her finger" out, I saw her eyes run over the title before I put it away, and I know she knows where it is. I have pulled a page partly out so I will know if the paper has been disturbed...lol

Well yesterday morning we had another discussion about things, Sarah during our morning massage, cuddle, that I love so much while caged, told me that she was going to have to let me out of THAT thing , and this ensued a conversation about if it worked for her or not. She said to me that "if you like wearing it then I have no problem with it", to which I laughed and said, well, no the part I like about wearing it is IF it does anything for us and if it takes some pressure off you, and again Sarah acquiesced that yes she does feel less pressure with it on then off. I think she is still struggling with "good girls would never do that", I think she likes it a lot more than she lets on.

Fast forward to bedtime, to which I was looking forward with great anticipation, its been 7 nights now, and on coming to bed Sarah tells me point blank that she can't find the keys.

What the %$#@, now I was mad, I know I shouldn't have been, but how the hell could she bloody loose them?? she has done this before and I was equally disturbed, I explained to Sarah (and I was containing myself) that if she TOLD me that she wasn't ready (which following the morning conversation there was an expectation) I would be fine, but I told her that in this instance that I was VERY upset that she could loose something as important as that.

Sarah quiped, thats ok darling if I can't find them tomorrow we will have to take you to the hospital and have them cut it off... hmmmm

I think she was kind of getting some sadistic joy out of this.

Anyways again I am far from perfect because I countered her sadistic pleasure by telling her that some bolt cutters would solve that, and I even went further saying that if she wanted me too I could probably break the lock open.

Well, the truth is Sarah did not want me too, she told me she wanted to find the keys in the morning, in other words she wants to wait till tomorrow. I must admit in the back of my mind I am worried because I know Sarah period is nearly upon us...eeeekkkkk

So to the dominant moment of the week. After watching her shows for a while with no further discussion, and I did behave myself, I let it drop, I said as she turned off the lights for sleep that she could let me lick her to a orgasm tonight and give me a 30 second handjob tomorrow, the thought of it had me hard in my cage, and I had been lying there thinking about it choosing the time to say it. Sarah knows I really want to do this, its like this will be the turning point, where Sarah gives me the gift of giving her pleasure while I am locked up. I feel that once Sarah allows me this it will be the breath that blows fire into those latent dominant embers. An acknowledgment of her sexual dominance.

Sarah came back without even thinking about it:

"You do not call the shots, I do" Well, not what I wanted but bloody close!!

Well, my turn to say "yes I guess you do, would you like a massage dear, was all I could muster, and in my mind saying my thanks to the higher powers for the firm cock in my cage"

The thing about this statement is that it is the first time Sarah has been outrightly dominant in a sexual connotation, there has been others as I have told you but this was quite explicitly sexual domination. I don't like to think I was topping from the bottom as it was merely a suggestion, but I guess since I have asked before on more than one occasion means I was pestering her. Well I was certainly put in my place!!

Well massage her I did, and no I did not attempt to go down on here, I was perfectly behaved and rubbed her back till she slept.

This morning Sarah phoned for some other reasons, and told me that she had found the keys...so tonight may or may not be interesting, she certainly is building my expectations, but she sure sounded happy, so yeah its tight just thinking about tonight.

I must try and not have too many expectations though. Ever being told how fucken good a movie is then u go see it and its like...well it wasn't that good?

There is certainly embers there, whats more they do seem to be developing. The real proof will be this cycle, if and when she gives me the keys, if she takes them back while she has her period, I have a feeling she won't, she will tell me to have a break, but I will offer them to her, I have told her I do not need a break, and I don't, and I really don't want a break (although this will change post orgasm...lol), right now I am not even sure if I want a orgasm, I do and I don't, a very strange feeling.

What I do need to feel though is Sarah's orgasm, her gift of ultimate intimacy, trouble is if it is given with my cock, then I am unlikely to be able to contain myself, I wonder if I could even if Sarah instructed me not to (though I think she is a way away from doing that, she still does not understand the point of that, yet if she reads the material she just might)

Sorry this is so prolific but I need to do some work now....

Moving it along.

I asked Sarah this week if she thought more or less of me because I liked wearing the cage for her. Sarah's initial response was that she did not think of me any differently, but then she paused and changed her mind and told me that she actually thought more of me.

I then asked her permission if I could in future wear it constantly, without a break (except when she released me of course) until such time as she asked me to stop, I told her that I did not need a break from it, even during her period, and that it made it harder for me to have a break than not have one.

This is true because I very quickly fall into old habits and then I have a very difficult time asking her or returning to the fold so to speak.

Sarah has agreed.

Sarah has also been showing dominant signs just recently, apart from what I told you about the web site, there has been a few things she has told me during these last week that has had my submissive fires burning, after the above conversation, a few nights later Sarah announced that she had "better make a list then" referring to tasks around the house, to which I agreed wholeheartedly.

But now along to the night of my release the other night. I didn't get what I deserved but I very nearly did.

I was feeling very much like I DESERVED a released, I really worked my guts out all day and I achieved everything Sarah had asked me two before cooking dinner for the family, I quite honestly wore myself out.

I have mentioned previously that this is where I really struggle, and libido reduction helps a tad but not much. If I feel like I deserve release I have a real internal fight on my hands. I know I shouldn't but I can't help what I feel despite telling myself that its got to be up to Sarah, that I don't decide when my release will be....anyway with that frame of mind I went to bed. I could feel my adrenaline pumping around my body, a anxiousness, I was worried that I would not be able to control myself.

On climbing into bed, Sarah was watching he shows on TV, and she instructed me to give her a massage, not asked, she told me to. Fine, mini contained erection, and I proceeded to patiently rub her back for about 30 minutes before she announced hse would go and use the bathroom.

Now I know that Sarah sometimes puts the key to my cage under her pillow if she is intending to release me so while she was in the bathroom I snuck a peak under her pillow, and imagine my relief when I saw it was there.....but....and there is a but

Sarah returned to the bedroom, and I told her I needed to check the locks downstairs, but while was downstairs I went into my office and tool a quarter of a viagra pill, because I wanted to make sure that it was a enjoyable for both of us, I felt assured of release (although not 100% because she has gotten the key out before and changed her mind). I then proceeded to check the front doors and return to the bedroom where I found Sarah still watching her show. All good need some time for the pill to do its job, I even ground it up in my teeth to fine powder which speeds its penetration, which tasted absolutely disgusting!!

Gez I am a desperate pathetic individual

So I climbed into bed and dutifully rubbed Sarahs back for the next 20 minutes feeling sure that she was going to tell me to go wash myself at any moment.

So imagine my surprise when she turns of the light and says or more states to me sternly.

" now you are going to rub my back until I go to sleep even if it takes you all night, and if you do go to sleep before me and start snoring I am going to wack you up the arse!!"

I was floored but I did say, well u can do that anyway if you want....lol...but she did not say anything, but her sheer act of dominance was enough to quiten any act of defiance or feeling that I deserved release.

But then I thought...CRAP...I have taken that viagra AND I am wearing that tight ring. I still do not have any night time arousals but I know from past experience that a little bit of viagra goes a very long way....so.....

The night began, I must have rubbed Sarahs back for about 2-3 hours, each time I thought she was asleep i would roll over and just about be asleep myself when I would hear....."I am NOT asleep yet", it did occur to make snoring noises to see if I could get that wack but I thought better of it.

Eventually in the very morning hours I could not resist suggesting that perhaps it might help her sleep if we had a cuddle "or something" and I began change the focus of my massaging to her so yummy butt, Sarah did not resist me so encouraged I began to become more ambitious, I did not get swatted, so I continued until she allowed me to bare her butt and I began to softly kiss it.

I was seriously hoping she would allow me to give her pleasure without any release for me, but her body language was such that she did not allow access for me,then Sarah said, you are if anything persistent and handed me the keys. To be honest I did not argue with her, or say at the time that she did not need to let me out. I told her that last time and was denied, however after I was cleaned up and returned to bed I said to her that it was still a large fantasy of mine to service her while I was locked up. Sarah did not respond to this but I suspect it may have been filed away.

I put on a condom as is my obligation following cage time for hygiene (and sensitivity reasons) and proceeded to have a very enjoyable session.

Interesting Sarah did not allow me to penetrate her for a long time and indeed I thought at one point she was not going to at all. She kept me right on the outside , and not did I seek entry enjoying that she was guiding me to her own pleasure. I even believe she has a mini climax before allowing me to continue to rub on the outside, very unusual for her because usually she has one and that is it, I began to think that Sarah was teasing me by not allowing me penetration, and this is absolutely her prerogative, so when she did direct my entry I had a very hard time controlling myself.

I did in fact end Up missreading her and I did climax before Sarah which really pissed me off, Sarah did not know because I was wearing a condom anyway and I managed to bring her off before there was any significant shrinkage, but it was annoying because I was trying so hard to stop it the orgasm I had can only be described as ruined.

As I say I got what I deserved most probably.

I rubbed Sarahs back for another hour before she told me that I had to work the next day and I should go to sleep. Luckily she found some sleeping tablets and so I felt I could relax, I was tempted to make snoring noises though and i chuckled to myself.

In the morning sure enough, I was sure as hell glad Sarah did let me out because the woody I woke up with was a woody of all woodies and I am not sure if I could have tolerated it if the cage had been on. It have would hurt like frig!!

I allowed myself the day for freedom, I did need it, the week of wearing the tight ring had left me a bit sore, but I am not sure if it was an excuse for me being able to have access to my penis for the day. i think I managed about 7 orgasms , and I was relieved to report that they were extremely intense and normal feeling every one of them, even if the old fella was a bit sore at the end of the day. I have offered to lock up straight after sex but Sarah is not interested and i have also asked her if she minds if I masturbate the following day, She does not have any issues with it, I have even told her about my excessive habit before, she was a bit shocked but she does not seem to worry her.

In fact, I only found out I was unusually high sex drive when we were dating. I could happily have 5 orgasms with Sarah without ever going soft and no rest. It was only after Sarah had been to the doctor about woman stuff and she told me her doctor had told her that I was a very unusual man...lol.

Unfortunately these days I could not manage anything like that, but with a bit of a respite between...well yeah,

Later on in the evening on arriving home from work I checked to see if Sarah had put the keys away again (she hadn't in the morning) and sure enough they had gone.

My freedom once again came to a close.

Following my day of freedom and subsequent relockup, I noticed in the morning my balls are swollen, not discoloured but swollen, big enough to pull the skin tighter than normal making it a bit more uncomfortable than usual. Punishment for the previous day perhaps? I think maybe next session I will give the tight ring a break, I dare not ask Sarah for the key to change it over, if she finds out I am uncomfortable she will probably call the game off.

That said she seems to be certainly heading down the dominant path, she might just say tuff!!

Sarah does have a lot of stuff on her mind presently, it will be interesting to where this leads when things quieten down a bit. We are going camping this weekend and I very much doubt I will be taking this cage off for this trip.