Pressurisation

Thanks again for your valuable comments.

Your dead right digger, there was a lot going on there with the vib thing, Pics?, hmmmm USB webcam on a long extension, could record hours and hours that way!!

Its actually been a long few days.

Someone said that its not really Sarah that’s struggling with the cage any more its me. To be honest your probably right. Its tough after a week. Its funny physically I have no really issue wearing it all the time. I do like the mindset it puts me in and I am sure Sarah does as well. But the mind is an amazing thing, it can make you physically feel that you HAVE to have a release.

Truth is after about 3 days I know I am “full” because even without using a prostate milking tool if I squeeze my tummy muscles like I am trying to crap I can actually squeeze ejaculate out sometimes, sometimes quite a lot and it serves help remove the pressure to some degree.

Where I seem to have real major issues is when I feel like I should be let out. For example if Sarah does not seem tired, the kids are asleep, I have done everything she has asked me to, I have delivered on nightly and morning massages, done all my chores then I figure I have earnt it. Then at bed time I feel extremely stressed partially because Sarah always makes me wait till the last moment, and never ever gives me a indication either way. Over the last few nights not only have a felt stressed by I physically felt I was ready to explode…quite literally felt as if I have a billard ball up my clacker. During the vib night I did actually try and relieve that by using the aneros, and it did help but obviously the scene in my mind playing with Sarah and the vib/dong (it never has batteries in it) drove me nuts over the weekend.

On Monday night was the worst, as I knew I had to travel (plane) Tuesday morning, everything seemed fine. Sarah was in a good mood, kids went to sleep, Sarah had has suitable time for vib recovery, so I thought it would be good. But nope, Sarah left me alone. She did not produce the key.

I have to admit I ended up simply asking her if she intended on freeing me, just so I knew what the score was. I asked without any pressure, because there was no way I was going to be able to sleep unless I knew one way or the other. Sarah simply says, my bladder is a bit dicky tonight…ARRRGGGGGG !!!...I felt like screaming, and saying yeah you probably stabbed yourself in the bladder when you were using your vib the other day!! Alas I kept my mouth shut, and I actually told her I loved her and gave her a hug and tried to sleep.

Now I must admit, here is certainly a dark side of chastity, locked for a week, desperate to cum, no recognition of this need, to make matters worse I was stressed about this business trip, and of course there is always the ever present fear that the lock will set the metal detector off!!

Yet I could not help feeling Sarah knew full well what she was doing, the weird thing is if she had of chosen to say to me that she wanted me to wait until I got home for release, or she liked the thought of me traveling caged, or something to that effect, that she was DOING it to me then I am pretty sure I would have been in heaven. But to say simply she has a dicky bladder, left me feeling unfulfilled even if it was true. As I mentioned previously I was ready to explode but I kept my mouth shut. After massaging Sarah in anticipation of the key I was actually quite hard inside the cage and it was feeling nice as they do until you get a full rockon.

Then would you believe I actually came. I could not believe it, it was kind of a shock really. It was a crap orgasm of course, it was more like a overflow than a orgasm, although there was definitely a orgasmic component. It would seem the pressure was so great that my body simply took care of itself. But nothing really came out because my cock was squeezed tight inside, later on though when things softened down, well ick.

At least this allowed me to go to sleep, and because it was kind of a accident I did not feel such a depression as I did before, although I did feel some let down it was not nearly as pronounced. I actually slept until 5am which is pretty good but once I woke up I could not sleep again as it was near time to get up to go to the airport.

It remains a scary thing once your booked in and you are cueing to go through the metal detector. The first time I did this despite what I had read on the internet I actually at that point had a third key for the lock, and I removed the lock and walked through with the lock in my pocket to test it. I did this about 4 times previously (some time ago).

I destroyed that third key ages ago, I actually cut it in half with some side cutters, the two bits sit in my office draw at work, and yes I do look at them from time to time. Useless. So this trip was actually the first time where there was absolutely no going back. It was locked on and if it went off, well, I would be red faced I guess. It really does make u paranoid though, when there is a huge number of people waiting to go through and every third one of them sets off the alarm. I do wonder about this people though, I mean how fucken stupid are they, the lumps of metal they carry on them while they attempt to walk through. What are they thinking? Does every third person really want to test the system that badly?

But this fact makes one very nervous. Have they turned up the sensitivity since I last passed through? Maybe this one is more sensitive than the ones I passed through when I had the lock in my pocket. All these things passed through my mind as I walked through, and didn’t set it off. I might add I also have a belt buckle on that probably has more metal than the lock I have on my cage.

Btw digger I do not have the original master lock, I have one that has a much deeper more complex key but its not any larger but I doubt I could pick it.

Alas I know I can pull out the back despite using a KSD. The fact is that wearing a CB3000, it does prevent sex %100, but it only really discourages masturbation. It really does succeed in discouraging masturbation. Its not fun, and you can’t get it off once its locked on, so once you get by the obsession of wanting something escape proof then the CB3000 is just fine. There is no such thing as a escape proof device, its even possible to cum in a metal full belt by using a orbital sander as a vibrator, so there is a element of self control in everything.

I do think the CB3000 succeeds though in increasing the value of a orgasm. Sure you can have one while inside, but they are almost always shit and just make u feel bad. Sex on the other hand with Sarah has never been better. I just wish she released me more often.

So the trip ended up going OK and I returned home on the evening flight, I was very tired, I did passed through the metal detector once again without so much as a blip.

On arriving home I was informed that one of our mice had died, one of my children was devastated and my six year old had told the 9 year old to stop crying because after all its only a mouse. This in turn upset my wife who now wonders how she has failed to instill the value of life, any life into our six year old. And so it goes when you have four kids. There is always something causing unrest. The mouse had actually been unwell for weeks, and we were considering having it put down, so in some respects its death was welcomed.

I had 2 beers to unwind, one before dinner, one during, and I did finally start to relax after my trip, although later on in the evening those two beers just made me tired. I just wanted to go to bed, despite how tired I felt, I still really really anticipated being released that night. Although there was not nearly the same amount of pressure as the previous night, gawd all I had to do is look at Sarah’s butt and hooley dooley!!!

Sarah told me she wanted an hours peace before I came to bed, no problem I am used to this requests and I asked her if she wanted a drink of hot chocolate or anything else to which she politely declined (unusual). So I went and watched the end of a movie and fiddled around with a few things. Now I have learnt never to assume now that release is a given, I am a bit superstitious and figure I am tempting fate if I go to bed without my night time prep so I did the bandaide thing over the vent holes and vaso on the balls and went to bed.

Sarah was awake and waiting for me, but she was tired I could tell, Sarah said, “I don’t suppose you could let me have a early night could you?”. Now it can be as simple as that, the simple acknowledgement that she knows I need release but she is too tired for it that can diffuse so much of my internal pressure. I explained to Sarah that there was no point in releasing me if she was not up to it, that this is meant to mean that she is only to release me if she really feels like it….

But then she kind of spoiled it, she says to me that if she is not asleep in 10 minutes she will let me out, arrrgggg. You have no idea what its like to lie there quietly waiting for her to go to sleep, wondering if she is asleep, then the slightest sound, or movement causes one to bleep out of sleep because it might be Sarah about to give me the keys.

As a result I COULD NOT GET TO SLEEP, despite being totally exhausted.

Eventually I did though and woke as usually at about 5AM, but this time I succeeded in returning to sleep to be woken again just before the alarm, all in all a good night.

I did chastise Sarah lightly and humorously for keeping from sleeping, and for once she said that her night was great and she had a good sleep. Yet she told me she wanted a break from me massaging her this morning. Weird she did not want one last night either. She did qualify it though when she said, just for the day.

Sarah became to grumble about her old bones and body, to which I responded by telling her how beautiful she was. Sarah claimed “but not for much longer” indicating she is getting older.

“you will always be beautiful to me, no matter what” and THAT was the right thing to say because I was rewarded with a very neked lingering embrace.

Tonight, tonight, tonight…but don't expect...how can I not? but what if she doesn't, she will, I hope, this is the hardest part. Oh yes this part is true about chastity, it sure makes the man think about their spouse a WHOLE lot more...lol

Then do I put it back on?….U know I feel like I could do with a break, we are going camping this weekend, only for one or two nights tho, not really an excuse not to wear it although there will be other families we know there.

I think I probably should if Sarah takes the keys, I think she does like the control, although as digger said I don’t know if she wants to be the total “leader” of our household, but there are different elements of a relationship where one can take charge, Sarah seems to be at least prepared to give me some of her mind share on this. I do wish she would admit it to herself and to me that there is a power element she is enjoying and hence she could get a lot more from me and a happier husband if she actually pushed my buttons.

Spose I better do some work

The pink vibrator

I have always told you I am less than a perfect sub, I am also less than a perfect husband, spouse, father , and anything else you consider male.

I guess part of being submissive is acceptance of this fact.

Tonight’s post is because I feel like an asshole, because I have spied on Sarah, not directly but enough to know that she has been fucking herself.

A few years ago I bought Sarah a jelly vibrator. We bought it to together with a view to finding a way to get her motor started together.

Somehow I knew it was ever going to be a masturbatory tool for her.

But wait Sarah does not have a libido, she is a LL, so why would she need one of those.

Take note LL wife people. Wives can be very convincing, but they will never ever ever admit they masturbate.

Sarah does, even though Sarah won’t admit it.

I just wish she would share it with me, not the same thing I guess, so much for the intimate trust of a married partner, I kinda feel betrayed in a way. Cuckhold to a dong. A t the same time I have betrayed her because I spied on her.

So how do I know? Well after we bought it we tried it a few times and the fact is it did not really help much. It’s about 6 inches long, not sure how wide, all I can tell you is that I do actually exceed it in length and girth by minimal amounts. My yardstick in girth is if you can fit inside a toilet paper roll., which I am happy to say I don't just barely

To cut a long story short. Sarah kind of indicated it had died and gone to heaven, yet I know, where she hides it in her closet. I know exactly the way it lies, and I also know when it moves, and when it has been used. To validate the movement, there is also the KY jelly tube, for a long time Sarah has needed a supplement to her own lubrication, not exactly a turn not, but a necessary addition to the tools required for a family with four kids.

So what about me, caged and all, how do you think it makes me feel to know your wife has been making use of her dong and I can't even return the favour? OK if she did it WITH me, and denied me, no problem, then she is sharing her intimacy with me. That would actually be a turn on for me. But because she did it herself…..man that’s hard

Truth is, I felt realllly horny in any case knowing she had being having sex with her pink vibrator….in fact so horny, since I had read that some men had succeeded in jiggling their cage to the point where they had cum so I decided to try it.

I am so so sorry to report I succeeded, it was a crap orgasm though. I equate it to a ruined orgasm. I felt it Cumming, It spurted, and it was gone. Yet I never got to feel my shaft in my hands, or enjoy the full climax, it was a waste and just left me feeling depressed and degenerate. And to top it off, I am sure u have read, the hot and cold feeling I have had about chastity, imagine your caged and u cum, and then you wonder why you are doing this at all, yet your caged and can't get it off anyway. It’s a bad thing. Don’t do it, its not worth it, seriously not worth it. The only reason I was ABLE to cum what because of the pressure in my loins, once released. The release was not worth it and its taken me at least 24 hours to feel any semblance of submission once again.

Tonight, well I know Sarah has to be up early tomorrow, so I know its not on tonight, yet I know Sarah feels under pressure to release me. I am thinking I should tell her that from now on I want her to control my orgasms…I deserve to be caged for a very long time.

This is definitely the low point of this cage session. One thing, I guess you live and learn. I don't intend to be jiggling the cage ever again, although it was really a turn on to know Sarah had been using her tool.....

Just wish, she would do that with me in the room, while I was holding her....

Stuff of dreams

Well yesterday sucked,

I was at work, working away and around lunch time I decided to give Sarah a call because I just wanted to hear her voice, I don’t normally call her at home during the day for two reasons, one is she does not really like to be disturbed and the other if she happens to be doing something she doesn’t like then she can be in a awefull mood.

Sarah does not have a job, although she is kept very busy with our four children, yet many people do not have this luxury, and in spite of having 4 kids the wife HAS to work.

Fortunately I earn enough that Sarah does not have to work and we still get to go away on holidays at least twice per year, I generally chew through all of my available leave.

Anyway back to yesterday, I decided to use the excuse to remind her that there was a nice salad that I had made from the night before in the fridge and I was going to suggest that she ate it for lunch.

Well you have no idea, for the next 20 minutes a got a ear bashing about how she has wasted her life in this house and that she is 44 years old and has no life, and all she ever does is tidy up, pick up and that this is serious this time, she wants to go away for 3 months and see how we fare.

Ok I know its not easy being a housewife, and I try and help our as much as I possible can, of course our kids do not do enough to help, but that’s kids. I can’t even pay my eldest to do the back lawn because he is a spoilt brat and has no need for money.

We even paid for a cleaner for a while but Sarah found she spent so much time getting the house ready for the cleaner that it wasn’t worth it!!

I think we need a live in maid, but we could never afford that as well, we are not rich, just make enough that Sarah does not need to work. I have suggested previously that she might LIKE to work, but that is always met with scorn.

Well following a conversation like this I felt like ripping my cage off, of course I can’t. I don’t feel submissive at all when Sarah gets like this. I know its tough for her. A very pretty lady stuck in a house with four kids, but she wanted four kids . I am not sure what she expected, did she expect it was going to be easy?. I wonder what she visualized, in fact I think the word “if” comes to mind,

Sarah and I fought over having a forth child. In fact my ideal would have been 2 kids, a boy and a girl, the fact we had three was only because the first 2 were both boys. In the end I only agreed to a forth child because I put myself in Sarah’s position and wondered, although I am not sure I still would have wanted a forth even if they were all girls.

Logistically there is a huge jump from having 3 kids to having four kids. Suddenly you can’t all fit in a normal sedan car, you have to have a people mover. Suddenly the house was too small so we had to renovate and also and the thing that probably grates sarah the most is that it makes it incredibly hard to travel. NOONE anywhere in the world caters for a family of six. Family of four yes, 5 at a stretch, but 6?? It means you have to get two hotel rooms every where, it basically ends up doubling the cost of accommodation, not to mention the incremental cost of having a forth child.

Anyways, following our conversation, I guess there was a still a submissive part of me working, because it physically HURT me to hear Sarah so upset, yet I felt so helpless to do anything, one thing that Sarah kept saying over and over is that there is no end to it. She kept saying if she could see an end to it she could cope but she can’t. Fact is there is no end to it, fact is that as the kids get older we are going to get busier and busier, so I was feeling very distressed and depressed that I had absolutely no hope in ever having a happy Sarah.

Anyway I could not focus on work any more so I went out to try and rectify one of the things Sarah griped about, something that had been broken for a few weeks, but I had not been able to locate a spare part. Unfortunately I still failed, so I decided to go home and at least try and give Sarah some help for a few hours, even though its not a solution, it might help. I can’t do this very often because I would end up getting fired, and that would do neither of us any good!!, still I got home and Sarah was not there, so I went around and did some of the most pertinent tasks. Funny her friend came around and caught me red handed doing stuff in the garden…”that’s what I like to see” she says, well at least someone appreciates me.

Eventually Sarah did get home, and she behaved as if the previous conversation earlier in the day had never occurred. And we worked together for a while cleaning up. Even though she never said thank you I think she at least appreciated my help. I acknowledged her pain by telling her that I felt the same way and I was also aware that there was no end in site. I told her that I would do everything I could to help out, and left it at that. Trouble is I fear its still not enough. There are just not enough hours in the day and by 10PM when we are finally released from the children I don’t feel like working any more, I just want to kick back. I did end up yelling at the kids tho, in fact I really really got angry with them. Three of them had gotten into the bath and destroyed the bathroom with bubbles and water, there was a trail of cloths dumped in the hallway. I left them in no uncertain terms aware of what was expected of them when they got out of the bath, and when dad gets mad it makes mums temper look like a fresh breeze. They did clean up, in fact they did more than I expected them too. Trouble is they will have forgotten by today and there will be crap everywhere.

Domestic bliss

I think sarah is aware I am caged again tho, I rubbed her back to sleep for ages last night, then she woke me in the middle of the night, not intentionally but by her moving around, I think I was awake anyway because of nocturnal erection, so I rubbed her back again for ages, but when I turned to go to sleep, sarah ordered (not asked) me to keep going, and I complied for a very long time.

Later in the night I was woken by a painfully strong attempt at a full hardon, one of the advantages of wearing a cage is that you tend to remember your dreams because it is during dreaming you tend to get erect. I was glad I remembered this one, because I was dreaming I was giving Sarah oral sex. I can still taste her, no wonder I was so hard. To bad its only the stuff of dreams

Out and back in

That’s all for your support and advice, it has helped a lot.

As I said in my comments, Thursday night was a whole lot easier than Valentines night simply because I was not really expecting any kind of release. Of course I was hopeful. One is always ever hopeful of course that your wife will want to play. Alas Thursday night was not the night.

Friday morning started per usual and I really enjoyed our morning of close physical intimacy, although Sarah is not really big on talking, at least she allows me the pleasure of being close to her and feeling her so soft silken skin under my probing massaging fingers.

We do exchange some words of course, discuss what needs to be done, but it is unusual for it to turn towards our role play, or of course the “cage”. And I am sorry to say this morning was no different.

Friday evening was a busy one, with a really nice school function down at the beach, it was quite a social evening, and I consumed only a few beers and Sarah actually matched me with 2 wines (one more than usual for her!!). On the way home we droped my eldest at a local youth group run by a local Church, even though I am not the slightest bit religious I think it is good for my kids to be exposed to the basic good tenants Christianity has to offer.

Since my eldest needs to be picked up at 9.30 PM then it pretty much meant the rest of the night had to be drink free, so I was kind of missing sipping on a glass of red, so I took the dog for a long walk while our other children watched ice age for the 10 millionth time.

Finally bed time, of course I was hopeful again, but in reality I was not really expecting, and I KNOW I should NOT expect anything, let me put it this way I thought that Saturday was more probable.

Hence when the light went off, I asked for a cuddle, nothing more and Sarah turned to me and said “I thought you might be after these tonight” as she offered me the keys.

Well, I bet you can imagine my excitement, then she tempered me a bit when she told me she thought she might be getting her period early so she thought she had better let me free. I asked her if she wanted the keys back because I said the whole idea of this was for her not to feel pressured, she said, no, “fairs fair”. Not ideal but good enough for me to slip the key in the lock, and feel the relief as the catch sprung up, even though its still trapped, its still a great feeling.

So here is the critical point, I then offered the keys back to Sarah, and she took them without hesitation, no pause at all. So I guess that’s a pretty good indication of what her expectations are.

So off I went, first to my office to remove the cage, which takes a bit of doing given I use the KSD device to enhance the security and then for a wash before returning to bed. It’s a hassle but one really must wash after being inside a plastic cage for 9 nights.

On returning to bed, Sarah , wow, Sarah just blew me away. I am so blessed (although sometimes I wish I had of married a less attractive woman..lol) to have such a pretty wife, Sarah is very petite, naturally blond with blue eyes, what a cliché , she looks about 10 years younger than she is.

Normally Sarah does her best to cover herself up, I am not really permitted to see her naked, although sometimes I have to go and ask her something while she is in the shower, this is definitely frowned upon. Sarah feels that “I don’t need any encouragement” and hence any sexy panties or anything like that end up being left in the bottom of her draw only to end up on someones flee market stall.

Imagine my response when Sarah welcomed me back to bed with open, inviting legs and she actually pulled me on top of her. I nearly blew then and there. I actually had to tell her to stop because I felt I should put a condom on. I always wear a condom following a cage session out of respect and a fear that I don’t really know what bacteria has been accumulating down there following more than a week of enclosure, even though I have thoroughly washed myself. Of course the other reason for wearing a condom is that I am so sensitive that it really would not take much to push me over the edge. A condom helps me control my orgasm, but only just.

Needless to say what followed was extremely hot, and I must admit I did not ask for permission to cum, I simply could not contain myself once I felt Sarah pass her point of no return. I was completely overwhelmed by the strength of my climax. Probably was the strongest I had had in my memory and I just could not believe how long it lasted, the waves just kept coming. I never thought I was going to die but you get the idea!!!

We lay together for some time before we separated and I thanked Sarah and told her that it was verrrry nice, and Sarah actually told me that it was also really nice for her. This is also very unusual for Sarah to make an admission like that. Clearly there is something too this. I then tried to massage Sarah to sleep but of course I kept dropping off to sleep, I tried so hard to stay awake, and I did massage her back for a good half hour before sarah announced she wanted to watch TV for a while. So sleep I did.

It was a nice change not being woken in the night by the cage, and in the morning, the morning glory was in full swing. Not for long I thought, as I had made a mental commitment that I must put the cage back on at least before bed that night.

In the shower I was examining my shaft for signs of injury, and unfortunately on the base the KSD has made some minor pressure wounds. I needed to rub some vitamin E oil to help the healing process. The wound was not significant, not compared to some I have had before I modified the KSD. Whatever I was able to reminisce in the shower about the night before, I know I shouldn’t, but Sarah has never indicated that’s he minds if I help myself like that so I did, actually a few times on Saturday. This btw in no way would hinder the healing process.

Saturday night came, and I examined myself again, much better but I really felt that I needed another night to heal properly. I did not want to discuss this with Sarah, if she knew it was doing me any kind of injury then she would not play, so I decided to act as if I was caged at least for Saturday night. I am fairly sure I actually injured it on the first night, which was by far the worst night for hardons, and the small raw bit has been a bit of annoyance all week.

Sunday came and Sarah announced that her period had started, way earlier than normal, weird, well I guess a girl always knows. Of course this threw me into a bit of a spin given Sarah had told me previously she did not like me wearing while she had her period. Not sure why, but I could not help wondering if I should put it on or not, but given my act the previous night….

Sunday night came and I had really run out of excuses, my shaft had healed almost completely and I decided that if Sarah did not want me wearing it then all she needed to do is give me the key. The fact that she had taken it I felt meant I should put it on as soon as possible.

Hence Sunday night ended my reign of freedom, and a few days of rampant self satisfying which would have continued had I still been free today.

Fact is after only 2 days freedom, last night was way way easier than the first night after a long break. I know things are good in there today, its very comfortable and comforting back inside.

Even after 2 days of freedom I felt my subspace mindset slipping, although subspace becomes a habit, it takes a few days for the asshole in me to resurface. Locked back in maintains the feeling of love and affection and devotion even though Sarah is effectively out of commission. Sarah deserves better to be sure. Locked back in after 2 days means my body does not have to get reused to being caged, and believe me that is a good thing.

One thing of note, Although I will openly admit I self pleasure way too much. I would like to say I have experimented with chastity with no device. Those of you who are in a FLR who simply abstain, I can’t begin to describe the difference between wearing a cage and simply abstaining from self pleasure. Wearing a cage amps up the feelings a whole lot more because it makes you horny all the time. At the same time it lessens the pressure knowing you can’t, and it allows one to totally focus on she who is most important to you, and also serves as a constant reminder, a constant hand on your shaft, who controls when you get to release. I am not sure if much has been made of this or not, but I find wearing the cage during the day extremely pleasurable, it feels really nice.

The other day I was driving along in the car and I discovered by rocking backwards and forwards it actually felt like I was fucking, this was all good until I started to swell and the action stopped, impossible to cum, yet keeping one constantly horny, and in CHASE mode.

Chase mode being a male response to the woman they love, chase mode = courtship mode and hence really nice, will do anything for Sarah mode, asshole mode usually comes when you realize your not going to get any so one masturbates and then spends most of their life resenting the woman they love. I think the cage really enhances the chase concept as compared to simply abstaining because I did not find that I was in a constant horny state. Of course when I caught a glimpse of Sarah’s flesh after a week of abstaining then yep, I was there, but it was not a constant can’t stop thinking about her which the cage seems to instigate. The interesting thing is that one can remain in chase mode for exceptionally long periods of time. Save Valentines night where I did have a fit of frustration, I managed to stay in chase mode for 9 straight days, and apart from a tapering off on Sunday due to my extra curricular activities, I am back in chase mode now.

This morning I gave Sarah a long and sensual backrub but I did not let my cage contact her as sometimes she allows me to do, so its possible she does not know I have put it back on, still on leaving for work I gave her a nice hug and I am pretty sure she would have felt it. I expect Sarah will act as if she doesn’t know, and then will act surprised when she finds out later in the week….

We will see

Valentinesex NOT

I have to admit, last night was horrible. I had high hopes for last night. I felt certain Sarah would let me out for some play. In fact I even did not really do my normal preparation for bedtime because I thought it would be coming off.

The evening went normal enough, and I did normal things. Sarah even seemed in a good mood, although she did say she was tired a bit later on in the evening.

I was really pumped up ready for bed, in anticipation I was pressing against the end of the cage. I went in to see Sarah with her night chocolate half expecting to thee the keys waiting for me. Alas they did not appear.

I really felt anxious. Was it wrong of me to think that I would be let out on Valentines day?? Even in a wife led marriage one would think there should at least be something spoken. It had been 6 nights near a week and the internal pressure was enormous.

Somehow I managed to hold my tongue and climb into bed with Sarah unobvious. And then she suddenly switched off the light, much earlier than usual, I thought well that’s a good sign and rubbed her back for about half an hour, after which time I was pretty as hard as I can get within the cage, and still Sarah said nothing. I thought she was teasing me. In fact I thought she was probably waiting for me to ask, she seems to get some joy out of pushing me until I ask. I guess its all part of the game but I really hate asking because then I feel I am putting pressure on her, so last night I just stayed quiet.

Eventually I wished her happy valentines day and I asked her if she wanted to go off to sleep, to which she replies yes, and my heart sank and all sorts of emotions exploded through me, resentment, even anger. I felt I deserved sex that night. I felt I had earnt it. I felt that Sarah owed it to me after a week of morning and night time massages and a week of emotional investment.

Still I kissed her and rolled over and tried to sleep. Sleep was basically impossible, my insides were wound up as tight as a tennis racket string. I tried to hide is and succeeded, Sarah I think had gone to sleep. I was left hanging, completely frustrated. I do not know how other men can handle being completely frustrated like that but then again there is a huge difference between say being edged and left frustrated and being ignored and frustrated. I am pretty sure if Sarah had even acknowledged that I was bursting at the seems and told me that she was just tooo tired, even if she teased me obviously and she was DOING it to me to wind me up that would even be OK because it would be sexual attention. But to be ignored and left hanging was seemingly intolerable.

Eventually I did sleep, but then I woke only one hour later, still frustrated and unable to get back to sleep, It was not even due to a night time erection. Anyways I decided it would be a good opportunity to get up and do my preparation for the rest of the night. On returning to bed I still was unable to sleep and loose these thoughts of resentment, I rolled over quietly and nearly onto to Sarah because she had moved over to closer to me than I realized and I accidentally touched her hand. She actually asked me what I was doing so I just simply told her I couldn’t sleep. I still managed to refrain from putting pressure on her. Or even opening a dialogue about it.

Mercifully eventually I did fall asleep as I wondered how I would deal with these emotions if they continued tomorrow. If I betrayed myself then I know it will be the end of any cage play forever. I wondered if I am cut out for this. Should I just drop it and go back to normal.

Morning came and I did get woken by mr woody, actually it was a nice wakening, not painful, it actually felt nice. Its really cool those ones, not a supper rockon because those ones usually border on painful, but more of a super firmon. So I had time to think. I decided to ask Sarah if she would mind at least acknowledging me when she knew I was bursting at the seams so to speak, as this would help me at least know that I can go to sleep. Part of the reason why I could not sleep was because every time she moved I thought the was going to give me the key. If I knew it wasn’t going to happen perhaps I could have gone to sleep better.

We did end up having a fairly intimate morning with back rubs and cuddles which was nice. I feel better now, and in hindsite I am SOOOO glad I controlled myself. Sarah accepted my suggestion although did not make any commitments about when it may come off.

Sarah was tired last night, pure and simple and I need to respect that.

Writing this here helps with the inner turmoil I feel and I recognize that Sarah is still far better at determining when I should be released regardless of the day be it valentines day or any other occasion. Sarah will let me out when SHE is ready and not before, and I should thank her for this. Imagine I had of coerced her, and I know she would have allowed me if I had of, certainly if I had not been wearing the cage last night I would have attempted sex for sure, and Sarah would have “let” me for sure.

But the sex given she was tired would have been crap. And that would have been even worse that not sleeping last night because the whole week would have been wasted, and the emotional damage to us both could make future play improbable.

I do wonder though if it is Ok for me to ask Sarah to acknowledge me, I can’t handle just being ignored like that. I know she was trying to get to sleep which is why we do not speak then, but I far prefer to know its not going to happen then to wonder if its going to happen. I should just assume no and that should be enough, but a little bit of sexual attention, a intimate hug and a statement to be told “its not coming off tonight darling because I am just too tired” would not kill her? Does a man in a wife led marriage deserve that? Is it wrong to expect that? Sarah would know I would be peaking last night, whereas the last 6 nights I have had things well under control. I guess I knew valentines day was coming and inside I thought it was a sure bet.

How wrong was I.

I know Sarah will give me the privilege of making love to her in the next few days, and then it will be that time in her cycle within 4-6 days of that. My challenge now is what to do the following night. Do I put it back on again? I will offer her the keys, I always give them straight back to her after unlocking my lock, and she is pretty good at hiding them these days but it is still up to me to lock it back on. If she hides them I guess I will be obligated, or should I give it another break. I can’t ask her, yet she has indicated previously that she does not really like me wearing it when she has her period, don’t really understand that one. Perhaps she feels pressure to let me out as soon as her period has finished??

Not a perfect story by any stretch, there are certainly still challenges. Last night really did suck but I have really loved the other 6 nights and mornings. I have really loved feeling closer to Sarah, the touch of her skin and no pressure to ask for sex. I also love the feelings of devotion it elicits, the adoration it creates, it makes Sarah look 10 years younger, even though she looks great anyway!! Its certainly not all bad for her or for me, otherwise we would not play at all.

BTW I am getting paranoid about my lack of commentators, I know I ramble and crap on but surely someone can throw some mud on me.

P.S. Blogger very slow I guess its still Valentines day in lots of other parts of the world, Hope you all have better luck than moi :)

Valentines Day

I have had an incredibly busy week. So much so I have not really had much time to think about a wife lead marriage and the implications of being caged.

Certainly I am feeling more submissive than I was before being caged after 6 nights being locked away the pressure for release is certainly building.

I am still trying to work through what it is Sarah wants, well at the very root I want to find something that generates interest from her in me. This has been the basis I guess of the cage thing, as well as the presentation of “around her finger” to her, although I have not mentioned this to her for some time nor have I shown her the whole book.

I did leave it out in all its glory in my office for a few weeks, I thought I saw that it had been disturbed and this was before I went through the cage showdown.

In spite of these negative thoughts the last week has been quite nice being caged. I have been sharing some intimacy with Sarah each night and every morning and she has been enjoying non pressured massages, although we did exchange some heated words one night this week when at 1.30am I asked if she could turn the TV off because I was realllly tired.

I am pretty sure Sarah likes the way our relationship is heading however I am wondering if it is in fact capable of succeeding. Digger Jones makes note of a LL (low libido) spouse, and Sarah definitely fits into this category. One of my mistakes is to think that this direction at all stimulates her libido! I will note however that following a cage session the intimacy seems to be exceptional, not just for me which one would expect after a whole week of no touchy would be awesome, but also it seems to light Sarah’s candle as well.

I did press the point this week that I really wanted to please Sarah with oral sex, its been over a year now since I was allowed to go down on her caged or uncaged. Unfortunately I very much doubt that’s going to happen. I miss the taste, the thought of it….uh oh!

I am trying not to spend so much time talking about the cage but for me it is so entwined with bringing out my submissive nature, it also represents an escape or an excuse to revert to my normal self , but there I go, what is my normal self??

I can’t make myself something I am not.

Anyways its Valentines day today, this morning I gave Sarah a lovely card and wrote some nice words on it. I guess I am hoping that she will let me out of my cage tonight after all it has been 6 nights in already. It will be a challenge to say nothing if she decides not to. Of course Sarah did not manage to get me a card, same as she never even remembers our anniversary.

I wonder if I am fighting a loosing battle sometimes.

Journey on

I think anyone reading this should have taken me up on my bet if I would be caged by the end of the weekend.

Friday night I ended up drinking a bit too much red wine, as you do on Friday nights and Sarah and I ended up sharing some intimacy late that evening. It ended up being pretty good in spite of the fact I had probably had too much to drink. Sarah did not seem to notice though and I guess by my age I can hide it fairly well and since Sarah is not big on kissing then its not like I was breathing and slobbering on her which I am sure would gross her out. This is kinda funny though because although Sarah climaxed, I couldn’t, I think I must have drunk too much, so after her climax Sarah told me to cum which I tried and I asked her if she really wanted me to. She really wanted me too. I actually ended up faking it, that’s right kids I faked an orgasm. I did not feel frustrated, Sarah climaxing was really enough for me, I think, or it might have been the fact I was partially brain dead.

We did have some conversation following while I rubbed her back, the interesting part was that I was lubricated enough to ask her if she thought it was time for a week of special massages (I can’t remember exactly what I said though), but I do remember Sarah caught on very quickly this time to what I was talking about and replied. “don’t put it on …..yet”, the “yet” rung in my ears as I said back to her that I only really ever feel like putting it on after we have made love (or the next day…you get the drift) to which she did not really reply and we left it at that.

What came to mind of course is what Becker said in the comments that I really should not ask her, that I should just put it on as asking her adds to the pressure. The fact that she has hidden the keys is enough of an act to signify her intent to hold on to them.

So I let it pass, this week has been very busy with my boss in town and yearly reviews and customer visits and since this is my first full year with my current company it was somewhat of a stressful experience. When I rang Sarah to tell her I was on my way home, the first thing she asks is if I still had a job, so I guess she was feeling a bit stressed as well. Actually I ended up with a bonus and a pay rise, so naturally I was in fairly high spirits, although I wanted to wait till I got home and tell Sarah to her face.

We had a great dinner and naturally I was feeling in the mood for some celebrating at bed time (and I had not been drinking save one beer), to which Sarah did not push me away, yet at the same time I was probably a little too hurried. Truth is I got myself reved up too fast, too early and Sarah is not really big on foreplay so I started to get worried about maintaining my mood, Of course had I not have dropped back into my bad habits of self fulfillment on a regular basis then I would not have any need for concern!!

Things progressed and Sarah really did not get into it, and although she did make a effort to start her engines for me, it just wasn’t going to work. I sensed this and of course things became harder (well hard is not quite right) for me. Sarah told me to make it a quicky which is basically a signal for me to drop my load and get off her. I hate that so much because it feels like such a selfish act, but then if I don’t Sarah feels really bad so I am stuck between a rock and a hard place. I asked Sarah if she was sure she wanted me to cum and she did, I said to her its would be really ok if I didn’t. I don’t think she is really big on the idea of orgasm denial, or the idea just hasn’t kicked in. She is still not really in control here, I am trying to give it too her, but she keeps telling me to do what I want. She doesn’t get it that I want her to tell me to do something sexually that I don’t want such is the strangeness of chastity and orgasm denial.

Sleeping on this I managed to convince myself that I should follow Beckers advice and lock myself in without asking Sarah, she still has the key somewhere and the lock is open, all I have to do is DO IT. My other motivation was that I was still feeling bad about the previous night, and the fact that Sarah had allowed me to use her body as a dumping ground for my seed.

I felt like I deserved to be locked up.

Now this is still much easier said and thought than done believe me.

Its not like I am a newby at chastity play now as I have owned a device for near 2 years now and Sarah has been aware of it for 18 months.

What appeals to me at one moment, is a great fantasy, to think about it gives one reason to beat ones meat about it. The trouble is that as soon as you do the last thing u want to do is put a cage over it!!. I know I have covered this many times in previous posts but this is one of the main reasons I ask Sarah because if she tells me too then I would do it, doing it yourself is very hard, and a potentially never ending cycle of fantasy/self satisfaction/put it off.

So last night I decided to have a bit…well ok it ended up being a fair amount of red wine, Sarah had gone to bed and I was left to my own devices, so I watched some of my favorite downloaded TV shows …did some stuff in my office then decided to have one last orgasm before I donned the cage.

Dammit, well I know this happens, cage seems like a bad idea again…wtf am I thinking. But I was expecting this so I did a few more things around the place and then I looked at some of my favorite pictures of Sarah….and then like I was in a trance (in reality a bit of a drunken stupor) I put the cage on, now putting the cage on is one thing but then at the very end there is the padlock, it’s the final step, the point of no return.

Like leaping of a platform on a bungee rope I clicked it shut .

Well its done, its so final, there is no going back. I have to tell Sarah because ultimately she will need to let me out. There is no point in not telling her because she has to know sometime, and there is no point in letting myself ramp up the subspace curve and then ask her if she has noticed, and so I prepared myself for bed.

There is a bit of a ritual in preparing oneself for bed once caged, and this is something I now work through very rapidly. Now the lock was shut and there was no going back, all there was to do was get ready for bed.

The first thing about the CB3000 is that it has air vent holes at the top and at the bottom, though the ones at the bottom are not so problematic as the ones at the top. During the day they are OK and they are essential for cleaning, but during the night when those night time erections occur they can be a real problem. There is a lot of pressure within the cage and you kind of BULGE out of the air holes in a big way. Although it does not hurt for the most part if the lock happens to catch on the skin, now that can really hurt. You can also end up with 3 red circles on your skin. The solution to this is very simple. A band aid, dressing strip with the sticky tabs, simply place it over the air holes at night. There is enough pressure to prevent the skin from bulging through. Perfect solution as come morning you just take the dressing off and proceed to wash J

The other essential preparation is putting some Vaso (petroleum jelly) around the bottom of the A-ring (where your balls are captured). This means the skin can slide easily through the ring and adds greatly to the comfort of the nighttime erection blues. I also found it is far better to have the spacer SMALLER between the A ring and the cage ie as small as possible without cutting off the blood circulation. This means these is less space for your balls to try and squeeze though and it actually makes it far more comfortable during the night time. Of course once its locked you can’t make these adjustments so this is found from experimentation much earlier on.

That pretty much completed bed time prep so I took myself up stairs, and, Sarah was asleep…dammit. Oh well in the morning then. I am glad I had locked it in some respects because If I knew she was asleep I probably would have put it off….alas all there was to do was go to sleep.

The first night is always tough and cage wearers know and as such I was awake pretty early. When the alarm went off I proceeded to give Sarah a long and sensual massage, and after getting a few smiles I said to her that I had something to admit to her. I told her that I had put it on, and if she didn’t really want me wearing it it was up to her to give me the key. She did not really reply but I am fairly certain the was pleased, then when I said her “so it looks like I am at your whim” to which she smiled and said “good” and gave me a nice hug. I then simply asked her if there was anything I could do for her and nothing unusual there, I went and made her breakfast.

I know I am probably imagining it but I think that not only is there a instantaneous change in my thinking but I would nearly swear that Sarah was nicer to me that morning as well. When she left before me (because I had lost my car keys…) she cave me a really nice hug, but there was something more than normal. Is it my imagination?

I wonder how long this time?

The submissive Dog

I have been thinking about the difference between being in a wife led marriage and being submissive and I am beginning to wonder if indeed I am cut out to being submissive.

Our dog died 6 months ago, she was such a proud animal, she was a bit of kelpie and staffie bull terrier. She was a fantastic family dog and we all loved her so much. Her only problem was that we could not take her anywhere off the leash because she would kill on sight. She was one of those dogs that when it came to sniff time…it was attack first and ask questions later, yet she was so gentle with our children even with a toddler biting her.

She even made it on television, some kids show was taping…and “some dogs are nice, and some dogs are not so nice” as our dog tried to eat an adjacent dog. It was not a particular nice trait, but one that made her…so proud and so dominant. She bowed to no dog. Yet…she was submissive to me, and at the same time she would fight with me. I could rumble her and play with her..she would bite and growl…never actually hurt me, she would even chase after me and try and crash tackle me….and sound so ferocious, bite my arm like I was some criminal and yet if I ever actually got the shits with her she would run and hide, and I never ever hit her. I loved her, she had such character. One so proud and so strong yet so gentle and loving to our children. She still lives with us, her ashes, a urn in the house. Its not a prominent place but a place where we see her regularly………………….

She was a proud submissive, She would take no shit from anyone else except me, and my wife, but she did identify me as being the alpha pack leader.

I can kind of identify with that.

We have a new dog now, she is black, and the most ANNOYING thing about her is that she is SO SUBMISSIVE. You only have to look at her sideways and she cringes and goes into her bed. Admittedly we got her from the pound (from death row), but she is Sooooo irritating. You walk into the garden in the morning and she is at your feet licking them..and if u look at her sideways she will piss herself….i mean farking hell… She is a sniveling wretch and yet she is a shit as well. If you leave ANYTHING outside that remotely resembles rubber she will eat it. She eats shoes, thongs (shoes in aussie language), tears the inner soles out. She will destroy toys, then in the morning when u wake up…she KNOWS she has been bad. As soon as she sees u she goes and hides down the back yard!!!....so if she knows so much why the frig does she do it??

Go outside and she is sniffing and licking your feet. My wife has no tolerance for her and she gets told very clearly told piss off.

So my submissive feelings have been equated to the dog, well in my mind anyway. Its clear to me that Sarah does not even remotely like sniveling wretched submissive things around her, and to be honest its put me off being submissive as well!!!

I have come to the conclusion that my need is more simple and not as complex as submission to Sarah. I think I simply need her to control when I get to orgasm. I feel it more deeply than anything I have felt before. I know I do not have the self control ..and I recognize every time I do it myself I am saying fuck u very much. I need and should be locked up.

Inherently this makes me more submissive but I am so clearly aware now that she does not want a sniveling wretch licking her feet. She wants a man who is strong, yet willing to bend to her will, even if it means resistance at times. She wants a man who is strong massaging her back, stronger physically and even mentally than her, one that can and is willing to protect her against anything that may come our way. But also one that is willing to bend, one that is willing to do anything she bequests.

That is me, or at the very least what I strive for, for I love her, the truth is I need her to acknowledge my love for her, and that I will truly do whatever it takes to bring her happiness.

bets the cage is on before the weekend is out